December 31, 2014

In Which Nearina Isn't Enough

November 17, 1188

It was a dreadful thing for a mother to think, but Nearina's daughter-in-law had deserved a much longer widowhood.

Her firstborn had been dead for a year and month now. She'd never figured out where she and Tertius had gone wrong with that boy, or whether he'd simply been born horrid, but--again, dreadful--it had been such a relief when she'd woken up one morning and learned he was dead. In her darkest moments, she recalled when she'd been a neurotic, borderline disturbed young mother and Felron had been a spiteful, screaming demon of an infant, and how it had crossed her mind more than once to smother the damn thing and fake a crib death. Perhaps that did make her a terrible person for considering such a thing, but maybe it would have been for the best.

Poor Xetrica had always been meek and passive and fragile--an easy victim for the Felrons of the world.

Nearina ought to have done more. She and Tertius should have disinherited Felron when he'd skinned Valira's cat alive, named Garrett the heir. Sent the boy off somewhere relatively secluded. Xetrica may still have had a short life, but she would have certainly had a better husband. At least none of the children seemed to have inherited Felron's worst, so far as she could tell.

Too young. Far too young, far too little good in her life.

Xetrica's mother had made it in time to say her goodbyes, as had her two older children. They'd sit with her again when they'd rested up from their journey, but Nearina was all Xetrica had for the moment. That about summed up life since Tertius had passed, with Arkon and Rina away and the other children too young and terrified to stand up to their father.

She hadn't been enough.

"I'm so sorry, dear."



Van said...

Kind of a lousy post to end the year on... but it was kind of a lousy year.

Here's to a much better 2015.

Anonymous said...

Meh, I'm starting the new year with a lousy post, so... xD

Sure sucks to be Xetrica, though. But I think her youngest children probably have it worse right now, losing their mother and father within a year of each other (even if Felron wasn't much of a father). :/

Van said...

Happy New Year? XD

Yeah, here's to a better life for Xetrica in her next soul cycle. :( Her youngest kids will indeed have it tough. At least they still have Nearina, as well as many of their aunts and uncles. Sister-in-law Cladelia will probably make some mothering efforts as well.

Ekho said...

"Her firstborn had dead for a year"
Missing 'been' I think.

This is sad, but I suppose almost relieving as well. Which is preferable, living miserably or dying peacefully? I do feel sorry for the younger kids though, hopefully they will still get all the attention and love they need and none will grow up to be like Felron.
Still hoping Arkon will turn out to be decent...

Van said...

D'oh! Thanks for the catch.

Yeah. While Xetrica's life would have gotten better given time, she was pretty tired. Her next life will be better.

The kids will be well-loved by their remaining relatives, though they'll miss their mom. I don't see any of them becoming another Felron.

Arkon will be okay as long as he gets a handle on his tendencies to try to control other people's lives. Cladelia might be able to help him there.