In Which Rennie Can Relate

November 20, 1195

"Awww! I didn't think you could be any cuter than you were the last time I saw you, but you've somehow managed!" Riala cooed to Melria's baby. It was not uncommon knowledge that Riala had been Melria's fierce defender and best friend since the death of the king, and her dropping in unannounced on any given day would not be unexpected, but Rennie suspected that her presence here on this particular day had been Sev's work. Riala was Sev's doting big sister who could deny him nothing, and if Sev's betrothed was dreading meeting her half-sister for the first time, and if Riala's warm presence could act as a buffer and a distraction for the stepmother... well, then Sev wouldn't be shy about asking.

Sev himself hadn't been able to come, which Rennie didn't much mind. Sev's presence might have alerted her father and stepmother to Rennie's unease, if they were dense enough that they hadn't noticed it before. She hadn't been able to shake Ella, though.

But Ella's presence, like Riala's, would at least be beneficial. Ella had been a half-sibling all her life and was well-versed in that etiquette. It would have been nice to have her in the delivery room while her mother labored with Sparron only a month and a half prior, but her mother had insisted on keeping her aids to a minimum: Rennie and Alina, their grandmother, and Aunt Raia.

Sparron was an easier presence in the world than Avine, though. For all Lettie knew that there must have been some man involved, it wasn't hard to convince herself that Sparron was entirely of her mother. Her mother, who'd always been steadfast and supportive and loving. Avine was half her distant father, and half the unanticipated stepmother she barely knew and didn't really have much need for.

An unfair judgement to pass on a baby who couldn't help her parentage and might as well grow up to be more than their sum.

But, who the hell could help how they felt about shit like this.

"I'm so glad she got Searle's eyes. They're so pretty, aren't they?"

Rennie rustled in her seat, though Ella was quick to calm her with a pat on the arm. Her father's eyes had eluded the rest of them. Arkon and Alina both had their mother's eyes, while Severin had Grandmother Renata's. Rennie got her own from Great-Grandfather Lonriad. That deeper blue couldn't have been bothered with any of them.

"They are--though there's nothing wrong with a lighter blue." Riala's note, Rennie was positive, had been for her benefit. She wasn't in the mood to appreciate it much.

"Or brown," added Ella. A brown-eyed baby of Melria's could have been anyone's, after all--not that Rennie felt any better about that.

"They might change, anyway." It was a weak attempt at saving her own ass from some danger she couldn't identify and wasn't even sure existed. Where was she even going with the comment? All she wanted was to leave. "I mean... babies' eyes can be kind of fickle sometimes, can't they?"

Ella--sweet, eager Ella, so keen and yet so powerless to keep up Rennie's spirits--nodded with vigor. "Oh, true! My brother Isidro's took a while to settle, I think."

Riala offered a slight shrug. She had the benefit of having raised four children from infancy--and, more likely than not, had been warned about Rennie's reluctance. But, she was also Melria's friend. She was stuck in the middle.

Rennie could relate.

"I guess we'll see."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Ella Is Stirred

August 19, 1192

"Let me guess," Ella groaned to Sev's friend--she thought his name was Florian?--as she joined him on the library bench. "Sev and Rennie are doing that thing again when they're insulting each other in cute voices with their faces inches apart and you wish they'd just start making out all right because it would be more bearable than their conversations."

The friend sighed. "You put it better than I could have. There's a reason I sought refuge in here."

"I'll grant that they'll make cute babies--cute, ridiculously inbred Kemorin babies--but the rest of us don't need to be privy to the making of such, at least if they're not interested in a group arrangement." Ella kicked up her legs, slipper dangling off her toe before she snapped it back to her heel. She hadn't bothered with stockings in the summer for years now. Her comfort trumped her modesty, if she'd ever had much modesty to begin with. "I can't imagine why they're so eager to swear off other people so soon anyway."

"I can't either. I mean, I can see the appeal of having a primary lover, but... why does it need to be exclusive, as long as it's respectful?"

"No idea. All of my friends are so boring when it comes to that sort of thing. If you ask me, a man worth having doesn't get jealous when he sees you with another man." She winked. "He watches."

"And likewise with a woman worth having! I'd like to think we'd each be so pleased with the idea of the other being pleasured that we wouldn't much care who does the pleasuring."

"And perhaps this ideal man and ideal woman would compromise on the idea of bringing a third party into the bed." This had always been a not-so-private fantasy of Ella's, two men in her bed at once. Maybe even a man and a woman, just to try it. "Or even a fourth."

"Why stop there? They could make a whole feast and party of it."

"Feasting on foods, or on each other?"

"Both, and perhaps foods off of each other." Florian--yes, she was pretty sure it was Florian--leaned back, a wistful grin on his mouth. If his experience had been anything like hers, he'd yet to manage holding someone this long to this sort of conversation.

"I think I'd quite like to lick pastry filling off a man's chest."

"And I think I'd quite like to lick pastry filling off a woman's chest--among other places." Oooh! Ella crossed her legs, as if that could help much with the stirring. "But do you know what I've always wanted to try?"

Lord knew she did. "What?"

"Being tied up."

"Like, to the bedposts?"

"The bedposts, a chair, my own contorted body..."

She held her legs a little tighter together. "Could you imagine having a whole room in your house devoted to sexual pursuits? You could have chains, whips, the occasional apparatus..."

"What could be an apparatus?"

Ella shrugged. "I guess anything. The rafters, an old saddle... maybe even a library bench?"

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Ellona Doesn't Outright Object

January 6, 1181

"You're going to read us a story, right?" That had been Neilor's job when Ellona and her children had been living with him, but there had been a shortage in bedtime stories lately as Ella found neither Ellona nor Casimiro's readings satisfactory ("You're not doing the voices!"). But Casimiro's mother could have been a master of the craft for all Ella knew, and it had apparently been long enough that the little girl was willing to take a chance with a new reader. "Right?"

"Of course!" Eliana smiled. Ellona's mother-in-law hadn't made much of an impression on her personally, but she had to admit that the woman seemed to have a way with anyone under twelve or so. Even Roddie, apparently too stylishly independent to have much to do with grown-ups, seemed to have gotten a kick out of her.

"Do you do voices?"

"Is there any storyteller worth listening to who doesn't?"

Ella giggled. Kaldar proved a little more difficult. "I'm too old for stories. Can't I stay up a while longer?"

"Not if you want to go for that sleigh ride with Alina and Sev, you can't." Her son turned around and pouted, but she wouldn't let that sway her. She knew she'd be in for a lot worse if he missed an outing with his friends. "Just listen to Grandma Eliana's bedtime story with your sister. Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky and it'll be a story about dragons."

"Oh, there will definitely be dragons," confirmed Eliana with a wink. That seemed to perk him up a little. "Now, both of you go and get dressed for bed. I'll meet you in Ella's room after I get us a few little cakes from the kitchens."

Cakes? Hadn't they had enough desert at Isidro's? "No cakes!"

"Did I say 'cakes'? My mistake. Of course I meant 'carrots'." Eliana shot her a wink before heading through the door, the children trailing, leaving Ellona and Casimiro alone for what seemed like the first time that day.

Just in case the walls weren't as soundproof as she believed, Ellona waited a minute or so before speaking. "Well, she's... she's very good with the children."

"She is. It's only once you're old enough to start producing children of your own that she starts to get annoying." Casimiro shuddered slightly, probably in the throws of some rogue memory he'd been struggling to suppress. Ellona opted to grant him his privacy. "Sorry about supper, by the way. She's normally not that bad, but that's the first time she's ever been around two of her daughters-in-law at once. The wine didn't help either." He sighed. "She means well. She really does. She just..."

"Expresses everything in the most egocentric way possible?"

Casimiro laughed, possibly the first true smile of the evening breaking from his mouth. "Exactly. What better way to say 'Who will mourn you when you're gone?' than 'I want grandchildren'?"

"It is admittedly less morbid."

"That and she actually does want hoards of grandchildren. Every birthday since thirteen, she's scolded me for wasting yet another year of valuable baby-making time."

Ellona sniffed. "Well, I still think I prefer her to my own mother. Not that that takes much." Casimiro's mouth twitched again, though not with the same sureness. She could understand, though. Mothers were an awkward topic, and she doubted anything else that could come from this conversation would be any less. "So... I guess I should ask for the formality of it: where do you stand on the children front?"

"Children?" Stray locks fell away from his eyes as he tipped his head back in thought. He had kind of a comical face--must have come from his father--but she supposed there were worse things kids could be than strange-looking. "Well, I don't feel like I'd die unfulfilled if I never had any. It might be nice to have two or three, but I won't force it if you don't think you want any more."

"Hmm. Well, I don't think I'd outright object to one or two more, as long as you don't want a whole army of them." She didn't, really, especially now that both of her children with Ietrin were big enough that she didn't need to cater to their every beck and call. Still, she'd had enough stress in her life in recent months. "I don't want to start trying immediately, though."

"Neither. I think there would be too much pressure if we tried while my mother was still here--plus apparently Bernardo and Hilla are thinking about trying again, so she might appreciate it if they were spaced out somewhat. Less of a baby drought."

"Plus you'd probably need some time to brace yourself for the idea of sex with me again."

He grinned apologetically. "Maybe just a little. Do you think we should maybe postpone the rest of this talk until spring? See how we're both feeling then?"

Spring. A good few months away, far enough into the future that their opinions could change, not so far that they couldn't predict most major obstacles. It was as reasonable a suggestion as any. "All right. Spring."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Ellona Gives Due Credit

February 16, 1180

"And that," Kaldar finished, grinning a little widely to be taking his own 'spooky' story seriously, "is why no one ever returns from the swamp--at least, alive."

Ellona snorted. On the floor, Ella reacted similarly. Good to know that she wasn't the type to believe anything she heard. "I think you have to work on your storytelling, kiddo."

Her son sighed--not the sort of world-weary sound she expected of a seven-year-old, but it was reassuring nonetheless. If Kaldar could admit to fault, could admit that he could be better, could admit that he could be wrong, then he would let himself learn. He would grow up. He was not his father.

"I don't get it. I'm not good at telling stories, but that's really just lying, isn't it?"

"Cynical way of looking at it, but I suppose you have a point." Did he? Ellona wasn't sure. She wasn't much of a storyteller herself. She'd always thought herself too pragmatic. Then, she'd finally ditched Ietrin and in hindsight, it seemed more likely that she'd always been too stupid. "You're not so good at lying either, though."

A little devious, Kaldar beamed. "Or so I let you think."

"Oh, really?"

He nodded, confident smile still in place. Ellona returned it with one of her own, unconcerned. Her boy had no problems with his self-esteem so far as she knew, but a truly skilled deceiver wouldn't have put her on high alert had he not been downright arrogant. She did not think Kaldar was arrogant. She did not want to.

"Well, keep practicing with the stories, but I'd think twice about lying to me if I were you; I let you think certain things too."

For safe measure, she added a wink. Kaldar opened his mouth, no doubt some clever-for-a-kid quip on his tongue, but whatever he had to say was overridden by the knock at the door. "Ellona, seriously, Neilor needs a new steward."

She knew that voice. Ella, apparently, did too. "Uncle Cas!"

"He's not our uncle," Kaldar corrected her--thank God he'd taken to leaving the word 'stupid' off the end of such sentences. "...is he?"

Ellona shook her head as Casimiro stepped in, someone else at his side, a young girl Ellona couldn't place for the life of her. Frankly, Ellona was more interested in Casimiro's reaction; to her relief, he'd taken it in stride as he always did, never mind that her children hadn't known him nearly long enough to dub him 'uncle'. "You're welcome to call me what you like, both of you."

"Oh, really?" That mischievous twinkle returned to Kaldar's eye. "Can we call you 'Sir Buttscratcher McFartbreath'?"

Ella fought back a giggle while the older girl snorted. Ellona couldn't say she saw what was so funny. "Kaldar!"

But Casimiro just shrugged, a hint of a grin on his lips and his eyes hardly void themselves. "If it please you--although it might be a bit of a mouthful."

"I guess. I'll just keep calling you 'Cas'--or maybe 'Gas', because that rhymes." Casimiro gave a nod of approval before taking a seat. Kaldar's attention shifted instead to the girl. "Hello. I'm Kaldar del Marinos. You're very pretty, but I'm contractually obliged to inform every beautiful woman I meet that I already have a girlfriend."

Ella rolled her eyes. "You do not!"

"I do so! We even signed a paper. And we got a witness. And he signed it too, because witnesses do that." As if it proved his own point, he nodded matter-of-factually. "And as long as I tell other lovely ladies about us, she can't tickle me."

"Fair enough. My father has plans for me anyway." She held out her hand as if for a shake; Kaldar kissed it instead, but if she minded, she didn't say. "Meeraleene of Hoprine--but please, call me Meera."

"Meera's father is paying suit to my sister," Casimiro explained. "Things seemed to be going well, so we figured we'd give them some privacy."

Ellona let her eyelids droop, his face obscured through the veil of her lashes. "Another stellar chaperoning accomplishment under your belt."

Casimiro chortled. Lacking the context and deciding he wasn't bothered, Kaldar glanced back at Ella before looking up at Meera once more. "I promised my sister that we'd build a snowman today. Would you like to help?"

"Sure." Meera let Kaldar take her by the arm and lead her back to the front room. Half-forgotten, Ella hurried behind as quickly as her stubby little legs would allow.

The sounds of the children scrounging around for their cloaks a little more audible than Ellona had hoped, Casimiro gave a fond shake of his head. "Oh, your kids never fail to amuse."

"Try living with them for a week and see if you still believe that." Ellona flipped a stray curl back over her shoulder. Lucky Kaldar had manageable locks like his Uncle Neilor, but poor Ella was doomed to the same unruly mess that plagued her mother, only in blond. It wasn't quite Ietrin's blond--more like Ellona's sister's--but nonetheless sometimes Ellona wondered if Ella would consent to dying it. Then again, Ellona's color wasn't without its unfortunate family connections either.

But she supposed it was impractical to dwell on that just now. If Casimiro had come, then he must have wanted to visiting--and for all Ellona had never been fond of such activities, visiting was supposed to be pleasant. "So, how is this new suitor? Do you think he might ask for Catalina's hand?"

"Things are looking hopeful. The poor man's a widower twice over and I think he wants a mother for his children more than anything else, but I think that could work for her. After her own little girl's death, I think she just wants to be a mother again anyway." Oh. He hadn't told her that and her face must have shown it. He made the customary awkward glance toward his boots before saying anything more. "That and he's heir to a baron; she could do a lot worse, at least given that she doesn't seem to be after romance."

"Indeed." Ellona rose to her feet, only to relieve them once more when she took the seat next to Casimiro. She wasn't quite sure why she'd bothered with the move. "Romance is overrated anyway."

She'd figured he would have agreed, given his attitude toward Searle. But the look he shot her was almost hurt. "There's no need to give up, you know. You could find another man."

"Hardly. I'm a disgraced ex-mistress with two bastards, a scheming bitch of a mother, and a brother whose only notability around here came from being a favorite in that tournament and losing to some nobody." Not that she didn't hope that her brother would accomplish more--but for now, the point stood. "But as long as I've got the kids, I'll be all right."

"It's because you're strong." He slung his arm around her and pulled her nearer, the way her brother sometimes did on the off-chance neither of them were opposed to unecessary touching. Just this once, she supposed she would indulge him. "You're lucky that way."

Perhaps she was. And perhaps he didn't give himself all due credit either. "You're stronger than you think you are."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Ellona Grants Permission

July 18, 1177

If nothing else, the little bastard seemed to be good with Ella. But still--if Neilor had the gall to show up at Ellona's castle at the crack of dawn, the least he could have done was come alone. "I can't believe you brought Landus."

"Mother insisted." Obviously. For all she seemed to enjoy making children, their mother didn't much care for having them around. It was probably for the best, though; Elarys was the sort of creature who might have made a snack of her own young if they proved otherwise useless. "Besides, you'll almost never see him. He'll be squiring for me, and I intend to keep him busy."

"So you're confident that you'll place in the top ten."

Her brother yawned. "The top ten? Lona, don't insult me. I wouldn't have come if I didn't have every intention of placing first. I've heard she's quite beautiful."

Ellona sniffed. Neilor probably appreciated beauty as much as the next man, but that didn't make it any less secondary. "And her brother's quite rich."

"Well, he can afford to host a tournament, if that says anything." Neilor's leery eyes flitted to the children. Gaze unmoved, he leaned towards Ellona and opened his mouth just widely enough for a whisper. "But honestly, I don't need his money. I mainly like the idea of Mother and I living in separate countries, and the rich, pretty wife is an agreeable bonus."

"Romantic." And yet, she couldn't blame him. She would've done the same thing. In some ways, she had. "Well, if you have that much faith in your abilities, I'm sure you and her ladyship will have beautiful children."

"I'm certain we will--though not half so beautiful as little Ella here, I'm sure." On the floor, Ella giggled and Landus offered a small smile. Neither reaction went unnoticed, but Ellona's jaw had locked. Beside her, Neilor seemed to be suffering a similar affliction. "Lona, can I ask you something?"

Ellona raised an eyebrow. It was not like her brother to ask for permission. "You just did, genius--and that's a 'yes', by the way."

Neilor swallowed, but nodded. His mouth curved into a grim frown that did not become him, a weakness in his face that he had never let show. "Do you ever worry that you'll wreck your children like Mother wrecked us?"

NEXT CHAPTER: