In Which Rina Is Granted a Glimpse

July 23, 1184

Rina dreamed of a staircase.

Her classmates stood at the top, and so did her peers back in Dovia, her brother and her barely-older aunts. She was close enough that she could see them, but she never got any closer. She walked, she ran, she barely more than lifted her legs step by step, but every step she cleared reappeared at the top of the set.

Every pair of eyes at the top fell upon her. Some of the faces were laughing, some of the fingers pointing, some of the mouths shouting unclear taunts that she nonetheless knew to be hurtful. Some looked upon her with pitying eyes, shaking their heads. Others still grimaced, as if to pretend they hadn't noticed, or to offer empty encouragement despite knowing it to be futile. She wasn't sure who up there she hated most.

Her younger uncle passed her on his way up. Her little brothers. Her cousins, her age, younger, younger still. Some of them even crawled, and the laughter from the openly cruel swelled.

Rina... someone called, near and far both at once, barely audible amidst the noise of the crowd. Rina, Rina...

Severin Tumekrin emerged from the crowd and ventured down a few steps to offer her a hand. She grabbed it and he returned to the top, trying to pull her after him, but no matter how many steps she climbed, their distance remained constant.

Rina...

"Stop!" she screamed to her mocking peers. "Stop it! Leave me alone!"

More cackles, more taunts, louder still. An extra stair emerged between her and the top; Severin's grip on her hand weakened.

Rina...

"Go away!" she yelled again as more steps spawned, as she held to Severin merely finger to the finger. "Go to hell, all of you! Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"

What remained of their grasp broke and she tumbled backward, past toddlers and babies and the not yet born, the noise of the watchers deafening. She rolled further and further, unable to stop herself, until she fell from the stairs entirely. She landed on a sickly, saccharine pink mattress, wooden walls and babyish toys surrounding her. If she looked up, all she saw was her father, glowering down from his great world of blackness.

Rina...

Stop it.

Rina...

No.

Rina...

I wish I was dead. Just let me die!

"Rina?"

Her eyes snapped open. Her father was gone. There was no cradle, no stairs, no jeers from ruthless bullies. She was in bed, in her room at her Uncle Garrett's castle.

With the only person in the world who could maybe make it better. "Grandfather?"

She sprung from her bed and ran to his outstretched arms, like she had when she was a child after all those times her father had chastised her. "Grandfather! You're here!"

"Oh, Rina." He squeezed her a little tighter and kissed her on the cheek. "I had to see you."

"I didn't want to go away." Surely not if he would have recovered!

"You did. You don't know it yet, but you did; you just wanted to leave on your own terms. I don't blame you for that."

His embrace eased and Rina's tiptoed feet fell flat. Her hand lingered on his arm as she looked him in the eye. "Grandfather..."

"I wanted to apologize. I should have stopped your father. I've spent the past months regretting that I couldn't."

Why would he say such a thing? "It wasn't your fault. You were ill..."

"Yes. That changes nothing." But it did! He would have helped her had he been well. Surely he would have? Some days, it was the only thought that kept her going... "I'm so sorry, Rina. But I need you to know that things will get better for you."

Rina grimaced. Her grandfather was not a liar. But neither were her grandmother and her aunt and uncle, and they told her that far too often. "Grandfather..."

"I know you don't believe it, and you're probably sick of hearing it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't know for sure." He took her hand and squeezed it. It had been months since she'd felt so warm. "I've been granted glimpses, Rina. I haven't seen everything, but I've seen the important things--enough to know that it will get better."

Glimpses? "Grandfather? What are you talking about? What do you mean?"

"Take care of yourself, Rina." That wasn't an answer. "And if you can't, remember that I'm never far away."

"Grandfather--"

"I have to leave now." But hadn't he just--? "I love you, Rina. I always will."

Why had his voice grown more distant? "Grandfather--"

"Goodbye."

*

"Grandfather?"

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Octavius Lives for a Moment

January 15, 1157

Despite how happy he was to finally be around his brothers again, Octavius couldn't help but feel as though his wife was not enjoying herself. He knew that she wasn't particularly fond of his family, but it was her brother's wedding; he would have thought she might have at least been in a good enough mood to make an effort to be pleasant.

"Medea?" he addressed her as he broke away from a conversation with his brother Quartus and approached her. "Medea, are you all right?"

"What do you think?" she snapped back at him. "My brother, the earl, is marrying the daughter of a baron. A baron! I blame Lonriad for this, you know--if he'd taken the time to make a daughter with his wife instead of wasting it all with his pagan slut, then perhaps I wouldn't be the only woman in this damn kingdom who married beneath her!"

Octavius sighed. "Medea, be reasonable. You are a baroness in Naroni, and you have a daughter who will one day be queen."

"My daughter. What about me?" demanded Medea. "Has anyone ever given a rat's ass about my happiness? I don't think so! And to top it off, I'm stuck here on this balcony, with your despicable brothers. I hope they know I hate every last one of them--especially that awful Septimus."

"Guess what, Medea?" Septimus laughed; Octavius was pretty sure that he had overheard her. "I'm going to be your priest at Tetran!"

Octavius could only watch in horror as Medea's eyes bulged dangerously. "What?!"

"Octavius just asked me. Actually, all four of us are going back to Naroni with you; Quintus is already Roderick's priest, and Quartus and Sextus made some agreements with Dalston and Severin. Isn't that nice?"

"But you already have your parish at Valcria!" Medea hissed, all the while glaring at her husband.

Septimus chuckled. "Funny story. Apparently, telling the countess that I'd like to anoint her with my holy water is sexual harassment. You see--"

"SHUT UP!"

Planting a stinging slap across Octavius's face, she stormed off; he could almost swear there was smoke spewing from her orifices.

"Medea, where are you going?" he called after her as she opened the door and began to make her way inside.

"I'm going to go talk to my sister!" answered Medea huffily.

"But you hate your sister!"

"Your point being--?"

She didn't give him the opportunity to answer; in fact, her own statement was cut short by the slamming of the door behind her.

Oh, how Octavius envied his brothers! Tertius, for one, had three children and another on the way. Also, he and his wife Nearina positively adored each other; Octavius would have done anything for his wife to even tolerate him.

And then to top it off, his scruffy-haired brother's marriage had made him Count of Tagrien.

Secundus too had been elevated by his marriage; he was now Baron of Rexus. He and his wife Tivalia were also very much in love, and while they only had two children, no more than Octavius himself, they were the strongest, healthiest children Octavius had ever come across, and surely they would have more.

The oldest brother, Primus, had not been quite so lucky as the two after him, Octavius knew. He was Lord Felonis, as their father had been, and he had married the second daughter of the Count of Vaclria as per the wishes of both sets of parents. While they were not in love and did not pretend to be, it was obvious that the two did share a strong friendship, and they worked well together when it came to raising their three children.

And as for the others... well, they were priests. They didn't have any wives to hate them.

Following Medea's outburst, Octavius couldn't bring himself to talk to any of them, the brothers he envied so; he simply stood there, gazing off into the distance. For however long it was, his sense of time became displaced--each moment was an hour, and each hour, a mere second.

He needed a distraction. He was a patient man, but he felt he was almost at his breaking point; he could not go on like this. Not for much longer.

"Octavius!"

Octavius turned around to find a smiling, beautiful young lady standing behind him, her golden curls playfully restrained, and her green dress, though tasteful, revealing just enough to catch his undeniable interest.

Frantically, he searched his mind for her face; upon finding it, he could not believe he had ever forgotten. It had been ten years since he had been so graced with her presence in such close proximity. Whenever he thought of her, she was as she had been then, a laughing, playful girl of eight. Now, that girl was nowhere to be seen; suddenly, she was a woman.

"I was wondering if I would see you here," she continued, her grin as earnest as it had ever been. "I figured you must be coming, seeing as the groom is your brother-in-law. And look--we match! Our mutual sister-in-law wanted me to wear blue, since it would bring out my eyes, but I knew it would have been a bad idea to listen to her."

"Why, Princess Holladrin," Octavius addressed her as both breath and words returned to his mouth; oh, how ugly was his voice to follow hers, the croak of a toad to the sweet song of a nightingale! "It has been far too long."

She smiled in agreement; the curve of her lips may as well have been a second sunrise. "What are you doing out here by yourself, silly? So many people want to catch up with you."

"Are you among them, your highness?" he inquired of her--he hoped he wasn't being too daring in asking such things of this exquisite creature.

"Would I have come out here if I wasn't? Oh, Octavius, I've forgotten how delightfully funny you are! Anyway, how are you?"

Holladrin was so charming; he decided to be honest with her. "Well, your highness, Medea and I had twins, but she still hates me--publicly, I might add. Oh, but how awful I am, voicing all this! I feel guilty even thinking about it, to be honest, but I can't help it."

"Let me tell you a secret, Octavius," Holladrin began, leaning toward him to whisper in his ear. "The only reason a woman would ever hate a man as kind and generous and patient is you is the fact that deep down inside, she knows she will never be worthy of him."

Octavius laughed appreciatively. "Oh, your highness, you always did know just what to say to make me feel better! However, I must tell you that you are sorely mistaken--she thinks herself very much above me!"

"Well, in that case, then she will most definitely never be worthy of you," she assured him, "and please, none of this 'your highness' business. We have not seen each other in ten years, and I do not want you to think of me as your princess, particularly since I am no longer. We are friends, and there will be no such formalities between us."

Friends. He was simultaneously honored and disheartened; he had no idea why.

"Yes, your--er, Holladrin," Octavius corrected himself; he felt as though his lips were unworthy of forming the very syllables that made up her name. "Anyway, enough about my abysmal marriage; how are you?"

"Well enough, I suppose," she replied. "I've been periodically ill the past few years, but I find being here with everyone is making me feel much better. A few months ago, however, I might as well have been dead."

"You are more alive than anyone I know," Octavius told her, almost to assure himself; it pained him to imagine her ill, bedridden and pale as her mother had often been. If Holladrin did not rise, than neither did the sun.

"Thank you," she acknowledged him with a slight grin. "Oh, I wish you didn't live so far away now! I couldn't bear to have another ten years pass before we meet again."

"I assure you, I will not let that happen," promised Octavius. "Some day, I hope you will meet my children. I daresay my little Jeda will appreciate spending time with a lady such as yourself when she is a little older; her mother barely pays her and her brother Sparron any attention at all."

"The poor dears!" exclaimed Holladrin. "Oh, Octavius, I would love to meet your children; I shall have to visit you all in Naroni."

Octavius nodded. "I do hope you will."

"Oh, I shall!" she resolved. "That way, I could see where you live! And I could visit my brother, and my cousins Celina and Severin. Your wife is my cousin too, did you know? Her mother was my father's sister."

"I did know. It is amazing how two cousins can turn out to be so different."

"Oh, but it is not Medea's fault that she is so bitter!" Holladrin came to her cousin's defense. "All her life, she has been overshadowed by her prettier younger sister; I daresay if I had a younger sister, I would have turned out rather bitter as well."

Octavius shook his head. "There is no possible way any woman, sister or not, could be prettier than you."

"Oh, you're just saying that," she giggled, blushing slightly; her cheeks were a lovely shade of pink, so much more radiant and delicate than any pink that could remind him of Medea.

"I am saying it because it is true."

That lovely hue remained. "Why, thank you, Octavius. By the way, have you seen Geneva anywhere? I want to ask her about Roderick."

"She was with Alina, last I saw her," he informed her, "but before you go..."

"Yes?" pried Holladrin, a starlit sparkle in her blue eyes that he had never seen in any other.

Carefully, he placed his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Her mouth drew nearer as her hand perched atop his shoulder. Should he kiss her? He wanted to--oh, but it was sacrilege, to brush the lips of a goddess with his own! Besides, he was a married man, and a father, and surely he could not ruin this innocent girl for her own groom, whoever he would be.

"Thank you, Holladrin," he whispered into her ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I've been dead for several years now; thank you for letting me live for a moment."

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