In Which Lonriad Calls on the Greatest Healer

July 26, 1185

"Lonriad! Glad you could make it!"

Lonriad forced a grimace and let Garrett embrace him. In truth, he hadn't wanted much more out of the day than to run around with his sons and drink imaginary tea with his daughters. But Nanalie was Asalaye's sister, and Nanalie had just had a baby the day before, and she'd sent word asking him to come and meet the new arrival. So, he'd come. "Nanalie and the baby are both doing well?"

"Very well." After Asalaye and Lyraina both, that must have been the relief of Master Indruion's life. "She's just glad it wasn't twins this time--though, this one made about as much noise last night as the other two combined ever did."

"Third babies have the healthiest lungs. I know Alina screamed the most out of my four." And little Honora never dared more than whimper if she needed anything. Almost as if she thought herself an inconvenience, the poor darling. "I hope sleep hasn't eluded you entirely."

"It has, but for happy reasons."

A lucky thing, that such reasons were not bittersweet. "Good."

"I should think so. Anyway, Nanalie's in the bedroom--resting, but awake." Garrett nodded toward the door--no threats or jabs about why Lonriad wasn't a worry. Unsubtle, but correct. "She'll be glad to see you."

"Likewise. And thank you." Lonriad gave his brother-in-law a pat on the shoulder, then turned around and made for the bedroom door. No lock hindered the handle, nor did any verbal protest sound. "Hello, Nan."

"Hello, Lonriad." She didn't rise from the bed, but she did pay him a tired tilt of her brows. Trusting as her husband, she had no qualms about him seeing her in her feather-light summer nightgown, and rightly so. Even if he weren't still plagued by the ache of Asalaye, the thought of Nanalie was no less repulsive than that of one of his own sisters. "Thank you for coming."

"No trouble. Sorry that I didn't call yesterday, but I figured your family would want their fill of the little one."

"You are family, stupid." Smirking, she pointed to the crib by the fireplace. "The baby's over there. She's quite anxious to meet her Uncle Lonriad."

"Another girl?" He'd hoped so. Honora would have a ready playmate in her little cousin.

"They do seem to be my specialty." Wives of crueler men than Garrett might have lamented such, but Nanalie's voice carried a note of pride. "Go, hold her. If you haven't dropped any of your other hundred nieces and nephews, I don't see why you should worry for her."

"All right." He approached the crib, heels dragging against the floorboards. One of these days, he hoped to muster the same enthusiasm he'd once had for being an uncle, but it would be one of many things he'd have to relearn.

Those little hazel eyes said that wouldn't be so difficult. "Aww, she's adorable."

Perhaps a little pale for an infant--not an unhealthy pale, but pale nonetheless. Her cute dab of a nose betrayed neither side of her parentage, and with any luck, that was Nanalie's chin her baby fat was hiding. The most precious bit of her was her mouth. Young as she was, those tiny pink lips clung to a default smile. "Does she have a name yet?"

"Uh, well... that's actually why I wanted to see you."

"Sorry?" Lonriad raised the baby to his shoulder and glanced back over at Nanalie. "What do I have to do with that?"

His sister-in-law pinched one of the laces of her nightgown and let it drop back to her still-swollen stomach. "I wondered if it would be all right if I named her Asalaye."

Asalaye. The name still hurt--just like the sight of her gowns in his wardrobe, the scent of her hair on his pillow. But each time he heard it, it stung a little less. He was healing--slowly, barely, but healing nonetheless. If Nanalie wanted to name her daughter for her sister, it was for love of both of them.

And what greater healer was there than love?

"Hello, Asalaye."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Garrett Does Not Have One of Each

October 21, 1180

Red Severin--both dark-haired little boys on the floor were named Severin, and both were called Sevvie by their fathers, so Garrett had taken to distinguishing them by the color of their shirts--was Valira and Searle's younger son, the only child they had brought with them as their other three were plenty old enough to spend the night with only the nurses about. He and Karlspan were less than a year apart and played together well; Red Severin was by far the more outgoing of the two, but while many children his age might have been frustrated by quieter playmates, the boy had nothing but patience for his shy, mild cousin.

Blue Severin was Lonriad and Asalaye's eldest. He wasn't mean, but he seemed to prefer animals to other boys, if the plight of poor captive Sheba was any indication. His little brother, scared of the bigger boys as year-old children often were, clung instead to his father's tunic.

Garrett couldn't be sure what he might have done with little Karlspan if his brothers-in-law hadn't had the good sense to bring their own sons along. He would have done what he could for the boy, of course--what sort of horrible father wouldn't try to comfort his son when the only mother the kid had ever known could very well be in mortal peril?--but if he'd been the one distracting Karlspan, wouldn't that bring further emphasis to his own worries? Karlspan's preoccupation with his little cousins and the presence of the other men were the only things holding Garrett's own sanity in place.

Not that the men were doing the greatest job of it.

"Maybe Nanalie's at an advantage? You know, being a midwife and all." Searle's suggestion was a misguided attempt at reassurance where distraction would have been preferred. "She knows what to expect, and how to best compose herself. And she's not the sort who's prone to panic if something goes wrong, so extra stress shouldn't be a problem."

As if to punish him, Lonriad didn't only nod in agreement, but apparently felt the need to contribute. "Plus you know how everyone listens to Nanalie. She's probably nagged the kid out already, no problem."

Garrett glowered at them both. At least his father-in-law had the sense not to make such comments. But then he remembered that Nanalie's mother had died birthing her youngest and suddenly that wasn't any better. "Er, so... surely you've heard my uncle's thinking about throwing a tournament? Planning on entering?"

He drummed on the desk, fighting to keep a grimace in place as his brothers-in-law took their sweet time answering. Too much time.

And after all that--two shakes of the head.

"If I'm going to get that messy, I'd hope to have a better reason than some vanity contest of brute strength."

"And you think I'd risk this pretty face? What does that leave my poor extended family to refresh their eyes with after a glimpse at my sister's husband?"

His father-in-law's forehead collided with his open hand. Garrett could relate to the sentiment. "Really, nobody likes winners' purses any more?"

"What's the point? It'll just go to Casimiro or Ashe or Neilor anyway. Or Isidro, if he forgets his helmet and the mere sight of his ugly face scares his opponents right off their horses." Lonriad shrugged, planting a kiss on his little son's head before steering right back to the conversation Garrett had been trying to avoid. "What about you? Is your new little mite going to be able to see his daddy fight before he has the chamberpot figured out?"

For Christ's sake, if the next phrase out of your mouth isn't--

"Oh, hello Valira."

That hadn't been quite what he was thinking. Regardless, Garrett swallowed back some misplaced nerves and turned his head. His sister had indeed emerged from the birthing room.

And not unaccompanied.

Whatever the hell they'd been talking about forgotten, Garrett scrambled to his feet. "Nanalie--"

"She's fine." Valira gestured for him with a jerk of her chin. "Get over here."

Relieved and grateful beyond the point where disagreement was possible, Garrett did as he was told. Not that he needed to be told.

A little face stared at him: tiny baby lips in a half-imagined smile, a nose far cuter than whatever horror he'd braced himself for, eyes that were his own but somehow better. He hadn't expected this calm so soon. He'd been caught off guard. He was in love.

"Hello." He stepped forward and ventured a small wave; hazel eyes followed his hand. "I'm your papa."

The baby blinked. Valira propped up the little bundle for a better look at Garrett's face; this one had missed out on big brother Karlspan's newborn fear of large noses. "You're just adorable, you sweet little... uh, what--?"

Valira smirked. "She's a girl."

"A girl!" His heart somersaulted. Not sure how he wasn't bouncing off the walls, he glanced at his little son on the floor. "Here that, Karl? You have a little sister."

Karlspan dropped his doll, beaming. "Yay!"

"'Yay' indeed! Did Nanalie name her, or...?"

Valira nodded. "She wants to name her after her mother, if that's all right with you."

"Of course! Isn't this great, everyone? Now we have one of each." And he cemented that fact with a kiss to his daughter's brow. Nanalie was alive. Karlspan was glad to be a big brother. And the baby--his little Honora--was the sweetest little girl he'd ever seen. It was nothing like Karlspan's birth, what ought to have been a celebration marred by poor Elhina's fate, what he'd kept trying and trying and failing to tell himself would not happen to Nanalie as well. He did not think he'd ever been happier. He did not think he ever could be happier. Surely this was the pinnacle of happiness. How could it not be?

What could possibly make him any happier?

"Um... Garrett?"

It was his father-in-law--still quiet but no longer tense, calm and perhaps a little amused. But of course he would be. He had a new granddaughter, after all. "I'm not sure that's quite correct."

Eh? "Sorry, I don't quite--" Behind Adonis, a mischievous Searle gestured to the door.

Huh. Perhaps it was possible to be happier. "She didn't look that big."

"She is a tricky one, my sister." Mindful of Garrett's third child--holy shit, he had three children!--Asalaye kicked the door shut behind her. "You're lucky that they don't look the same."

Garrett took a minute to glance back and forth between the babies. It was true that they weren't identical--or even alike, really, despite being equally beautiful. They both had his eyes and they both wore them better, and they both had a few wispy strands of similarly brown hair, but that was where the similarities ended. There was the tiniest hint of a bump in the bridge of Honora's nose, and perhaps slightly more definition in the other's chin, and maybe some difference in the overall shape of the face. That would be more than enough.

Well, except... "So, this one--"

His sister and sister-in-law shared a giggle before responding in time. "Girl."

"Then we'll name this one for my mother. Hear that, Karl?" Garrett didn't have to look at his son to know the little mite was smiling. "You have two little sisters!"

"Yay, yay!"

And if ever Garrett needed two words to sum up this day, he couldn't think of any more fitting than those.

Yay, yay.

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Nanalie States What She Has

June 2, 1179

"Oh." Garrett's mouth appeared to be caught halfway between a frown and a grimace. A little more enthusiasm might have been nice, but Nanalie supposed she couldn't have expected it; however little she knew about such things, a month's avoidance following a marriage proposal couldn't have been standard protocol. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

"I know." If she was honest with herself, she'd hardly been expecting to keep her resolve to visit either. It had taken the combined efforts of her little sisters to push her out the door. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disappear like that. You just kind of... I don't know. Caught me off guard, I guess."

His head tipped to one side, blinking as his brow furrowed. It was a look unbecoming of him. He wasn't ruled by his ambitions, but he'd always struck her as sure. And for the past month, she'd been confused enough for the both of them. "I thought it was obvious how I feel about you."

"Feelings aren't really my strong suit." Not that he wouldn't have figured that out by now. "I panicked, all right? I can't really explain it much better than that."

He joined her on the bench, not quite nodding but the softened look of his eye didn't look too far from understanding. "It's all right. I didn't think you'd answer right away."

"Thank you for that." He was taking it better than she'd guessed anyone could and she didn't know what to do with that. A little unsteady, Nanalie took to folding the length of her belt around her fingers. She only had about three belts that she'd cycled through for years, but the leather was more pliable than she'd ever noticed. "I just... I don't know. When Cord proposed to me, I said yes because I thought it would make my father happy and then I was just relieved when it fell through. And if I said yes to you..."

"You wanted to be sure that it was your decision--not your father's."

Nanalie nodded. "Exactly. To be honest, I never even told him that you asked. I only told Asalaye." And if Asalaye had told their father, she would have known it by now.

"That's all right." Garrett let out a chuckle of a breath. It was a light laugh for him, but he was beginning to regain his old self. "I haven't mentioned it to anyone myself, actually. I figured it would be easier on us both if we kept it to ourselves until you'd made a decision."

"Thank you for that." It was almost unbelievable just how calm and sensitive he could be in light of the circumstance. She wondered what he might have done if she'd told him no. Just kept his silence and made his peace with it, she supposed. She could have respected that. "I hope you didn't feel embarrassed or rejected or anything."

Another chuckle. "Should I have? You didn't really reject me, you know... or did you?"

"No!" His brow twitched. Had that been too defensive? Too forward? He couldn't get an answer from that. Could he? "I mean, I said I'd think about it, didn't I? That could mean anything."

"I know." He offered an arm and she let him drape it around her shoulders. She wondered if it was presumptuous to lean toward him; if it was, he didn't complain. "I'm sorry if I was prying. I'd rather not have an answer until you're sure."

"And you're itching to ask if I am, aren't you?"

This time, it was a full-blown laugh. Now that was the old Garrett. "Well, anyone would be. But I won't."

"Just as well. I've thought about it long enough anyway."

She felt his brow brush across her hair as he turned to face her. He grinned often--more often that anyone else she knew--but never quite like that. "You mean...?"

The smile spreading to her own mouth, she kissed him on the cheek. "I mean."

A strong hand led his free arm beneath her knees and lifted her to his lap, hazel eyes sparkling despite the walls around them and the cloud cover outside. "I meant what I said, you know. I want to give you everything."

She nuzzled her oversized nose against his own even larger one. God, their children would be so unfortunate. "No need; I already have it."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Garrett Is Not Scared Alone

April 2, 1179

Thunder cracked amidst the soundscape of the pounding rain. Garrett cursed himself for not having the foresight to leave. He lived only a couple hours' ride north of Sir Lonriad's castle, but knowing his luck, the skies over Tetran were clear and silent. He hoped at least Karlspan was enjoying his sleepover. He wondered how it might go over if he tiptoed down to Sevvie's nursery to see if his little baby was scared.

And maybe he'd bring him back anyway, just because Daddy was.

A rap at the door. His little son couldn't have reached so high or knocked with such force, but anyone was preferable to another clap of thunder. "Come in."

"You couldn't sleep either?"

Nanalie's voice was silk in his ears after the hours-long scratchy burlap of the storm. The next bout of thunder might be bearable if she stayed. "I hate storms."

"I do too."

Garrett stiffened. Was she scared too? Nothing scared Nanalie. He would've sworn it in front of every bishop and cardinal in Rome. "My father took my brother and I out for a ride, back before I came here. We got caught in a storm like this. Had to spend the night in a cave." He shuddered. The thunder of the past sounded clearly as that of the present. "I've hated storms ever since."

"It was a tree for me. It was struck by a lightning bolt and fell over. A couple degrees in the wrong direction and it would've hit the house." She stepped into the firelight, shivering. She was more translucent than he'd ever seen her and it wasn't just the nightgown. "Of course Had and Asalaye slept right through it."

"Felron slept through most of the night too." And that was why snoring had always unnerved him. "He still teases me about it, that prick."

"You should call him out on it. Everyone has things that scare them."

And if she was the one to say it, he believed it. "I wouldn't have thought you did."

Nanalie sniffed. "Don't be absurd. Some things scare me more than storms do. They can't be the only thing that scares you either."

God. She was so close and so open and staring right through him. His palms began to sweat. "There's you."

She blinked. The storm raged on but the world stood silent for a minute. If only the thunder had struck as he'd spoken and she hadn't heard him say it. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. She would just keep looking at him with those clever eyes and he couldn't climb out of that gaze until she threw him a rope. He had to tell her. He had to tell her, and in storms like this, did it even matter? The next bolt of lightning might have been his, never mind the stone on all sides. "I want to give you everything, and I'm afraid it will never be enough."

Her eyes flitted to the hearth. He'd said too much. The next bolt of lightning would have to be his, whether to restart his heart or strike him dead. "Funny. I want everything and I'm afraid I can't have it. And that's why you scare me."

And he'd been shocked to hear she feared storms. "I scare you?"

"How could you not? If I want you, how much would I have to give up in turn?" He took a minute to puzzle out her words, which was just as well as she wouldn't let him speak. "I like my life. I like my work. And in my free time, I like being able to do what I want when I want. How can I have all of that if I have you?"

"You would have it." And why would he have it any other way? She knew what she wanted and she went for it. It was partly why he loved her. "I don't want to be your whole life; a person shouldn't ask that of anyone else. I just want to be a part of it, if you'll have me."

Nanalie stood. Her silhouette against the firelight was more than he could bear. "I don't want to be your life either."

"Would you be a part of it?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I just know you scare me."

The trailing lace of her nightgown wound around her thumb. He watched it break away from the gossamer fabric as she pulled. "Nanalie..."

"Shh." Her finger hooked beneath her sleeve and yanked it downward, the rest of the gown following. Her shoulders slipped into view, her breasts obscured only by her hair. The white cloth rolled off her slender hips and pooled around her ankles. "Just... don't, all right?"

"Nanalie..."

"Shh." The thunder rang once more as she settled on his lap. It was like the lightning had struck down a star and she'd fallen into his arms. "I don't want to be scared any more."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Nanalie Gets an Invitation

September 3, 1178

"Not exactly your usual self, are you?" Nanalie teased as little Karlspan tugged at the sleeve of her tunic. She got the laugh she'd wanted, but it was hardly Garrett's usual hearty chuckle--just a forced, almost pained choke of a snicker. A dull ache throbbed within her gut. Not that it wasn't nice to know that Garrett had a serious side, but this was... confusing, to say the least. "What happened?"

"You really want to know?" She nodded. He watched as she bounced his son in her arms a couple times, his mouth caught midway toward a grin but weighted down with some bitter anchor--sort of like the way her father used to smile for her stepmother when he was thinking of her mother. "Kiddo's birthday is coming up and instead of a nice toy or something, his grandmother got it in her head to get him a new mama."

Whimpering, Karlspan clung to Nanalie's shoulder. She tousled his fine gold hair before shooting a frown toward his father. "The queen set you up?"

"Well, I'm a grown man and she's not my mother, but she's trying." And if that sigh was anything to go by, she was going to keep at it. "I guess I get it--she wants her daughter's only child to have a mother--but I wish she wasn't trying to get an alliance out of it too. The woman she brought over yesterday? Niece to the Queen of France."

For a count's second son? A mere knight? "Maybe you should have gone for it. Is she pretty?"

Garrett shrugged. "Pretty enough. She didn't seem all that comfortable around little Karl, though. And while I'd like him to have a mother, I don't think it was be much of a service to him if I married just for the sake of that. A kid should get to see what love is, you know?"

Not something she would have expected to hear from a noble who'd been set up with a queen's niece, especially if he'd already married another queen's daughter. Then again, maybe he was low enough on the ladder that politics weren't everything, or at least not for a second marriage. Lonriad was a knight, after all, and a lord's third son; God knew he hadn't married her sister for the connections. "I see."

Garrett's mouth twitched, but his eyes didn't seem to want to press the matter. Fair enough; if he'd gone out of his way to visit on a lonely day when she would have otherwise had the house to herself, she supposed the least she could do was change the subject. "So... you have a birthday coming up?" she asked the toddler, prompting a smile--a real one, she was pleased to see--from his father. The little boy nodded. "Fun! How old?"

He held up two fingers, which was a little surprising in spite of the math; most two-year-olds Nanalie had known were not nearly so reserved. Nearly a year of knowing him now and she'd only recently earned the trust required to hold him. Then again, maybe she ought to have been flattered. The only other person who ever got to hold him was his father. "Two! Practically a man!"

He flashed her a quick view of his tiny, gap-ridden teeth. Behind him, Garrett twisted his wedding band. "I think he wants to invite you to his party."

"I wouldn't have guessed this little fellow liked parties."

"He doesn't, but Grandmama insisted." Garrett shook his head, his lips settling into a sheepish grimace. God damn, he smiled a lot, and not just when he was happy. And yet... would he have looked like himself, not smiling? "He might enjoy himself a little more if you come, though. He really likes you--don't you, Karl?"

The child answered by tightening his hold on Nanalie's shoulder, a wad of cloth bunched up in his tiny fist. It had always bothered Nanalie when her little siblings tugged on her clothes, but in spite of old experience, she didn't mind so much with Karlspan. "I'll be there."

Big surprise--Garrett beamed. "Great."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Garrett Wonders What It Says

August 14, 1178

"'...so, do I know him? Of course! I had lunch with him!'"

Garrett collapsed into a bought of head-shaking chuckles and Abrich choked out a laugh, but Ashe didn't look quite so amused. "Eww."

"Exactly." Bernardo picked a berry off one of the plates and popped it into his mouth--never mind that Isidro was still in the back, trying to work out a deal with Seoth. "That's what makes it funny."

"If by funny, you mean 'gross and stupid'."

"Of course! 'Gross and stupid' is funny." Another berry left its brothers for whatever horrors lurked beyond Bernardo's teeth. "God, Ashe, you wouldn't know humor if it sprung out of a chamber pot and bit you in the ass."

Ashe cringed. Triumphant, Bernardo smirked. "Case and point." He reached for the apple at the center of the plate, but snatched his hand back as Isidro emerged from the other room. "Welcome back, Is. Did you reach an agreement?"

"Yes. He didn't like the idea of waiting around for reimbursement, but he said we were civil servants on a mission and he wouldn't charge us."

"So... Seoth's just giving us breakfast?" asked Casimiro with a grin as Isidro settled into the empty seat next to him.

His cousin shrugged. "Essentially. My bet is that he tacks the cost onto Florian's tab, but either way, at least we're not paying. So yes, you can all eat now--and 'Nardo, don't think I didn't notice those missing berries."

Bernardo's face snapped forward, eyes pleading with Ashe and Abrich but making little progress. Garrett had to snicker. One of these days, he'd have to introduce these idiots to Nanalie, just for the fun of watching her rip them to shreds. Not that it would earn him many points, though. "Busted."

"Shut up, Garrett."

"Make me."

At the other table, Isidro sunk his fork into one of the fish in front of him. "He probably can't, but you might want to anyway, since I'm about to tell you all which ground you get to cover--and I'm only saying it once, so you'd better hear it the first time. 'Nardo, you and Abrich get the northwest quadrant."

"What, northwest?" Bernardo's groan was such that it was a miracle his jaw remained intact. Garrett was enjoying this way too much and he wondered what that said about him. Probably needed some ripping to shreds himself; he wondered if that said anything about Nanalie, the fact that she hadn't done so yet. "That's the furthest one from here!"

At the far end, Lonriad nudged his brows twice. "Shouldn't have gotten into the berries. Is, where am I going? And who's the lucky idiot who gets to enjoy my company?"

His eyes darted between the rest of them, smirk more infectious with each passing target. It was distracting enough that Garrett didn't think anyone else had noticed Ashe tensing up and muttering to himself. "Not me, not me, not me..."

"That would be Ashe."

Or maybe Isidro had noticed too. "Damn it."

Garrett thought he saw an injured frown flash across Lonriad's face, but it lasted just a second if it was ever there at all. "Sounds like I have a new best buddy. Which quadrant do we get?"

"Southeast. Cas, you and Searle take the northeast; that leaves Garrett and me the southwest." Isidro tore a chunk out of the fish and twirled the fork in front of him as he checked for hair-thin bones. "Any questions?"

Ashe opened his mouth.

"That don't have to do with trading partners?"

And closed it.

Garrett shot the kid an apologetic smile; Bernardo grinned too, but a teasing sort of grin.

"Sorry, Ashe. Who would've thought my little cousin here would grow up to be a hard-ass?"

Bernardo's little cousin's fist hit the table. "'Nardo, just shut up and eat your damn breakfast."

NEXT CHAPTER: