In Which Ellona Doesn't Outright Object

January 6, 1181

"You're going to read us a story, right?" That had been Neilor's job when Ellona and her children had been living with him, but there had been a shortage in bedtime stories lately as Ella found neither Ellona nor Casimiro's readings satisfactory ("You're not doing the voices!"). But Casimiro's mother could have been a master of the craft for all Ella knew, and it had apparently been long enough that the little girl was willing to take a chance with a new reader. "Right?"

"Of course!" Eliana smiled. Ellona's mother-in-law hadn't made much of an impression on her personally, but she had to admit that the woman seemed to have a way with anyone under twelve or so. Even Roddie, apparently too stylishly independent to have much to do with grown-ups, seemed to have gotten a kick out of her.

"Do you do voices?"

"Is there any storyteller worth listening to who doesn't?"

Ella giggled. Kaldar proved a little more difficult. "I'm too old for stories. Can't I stay up a while longer?"

"Not if you want to go for that sleigh ride with Alina and Sev, you can't." Her son turned around and pouted, but she wouldn't let that sway her. She knew she'd be in for a lot worse if he missed an outing with his friends. "Just listen to Grandma Eliana's bedtime story with your sister. Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky and it'll be a story about dragons."

"Oh, there will definitely be dragons," confirmed Eliana with a wink. That seemed to perk him up a little. "Now, both of you go and get dressed for bed. I'll meet you in Ella's room after I get us a few little cakes from the kitchens."

Cakes? Hadn't they had enough desert at Isidro's? "No cakes!"

"Did I say 'cakes'? My mistake. Of course I meant 'carrots'." Eliana shot her a wink before heading through the door, the children trailing, leaving Ellona and Casimiro alone for what seemed like the first time that day.

Just in case the walls weren't as soundproof as she believed, Ellona waited a minute or so before speaking. "Well, she's... she's very good with the children."

"She is. It's only once you're old enough to start producing children of your own that she starts to get annoying." Casimiro shuddered slightly, probably in the throws of some rogue memory he'd been struggling to suppress. Ellona opted to grant him his privacy. "Sorry about supper, by the way. She's normally not that bad, but that's the first time she's ever been around two of her daughters-in-law at once. The wine didn't help either." He sighed. "She means well. She really does. She just..."

"Expresses everything in the most egocentric way possible?"

Casimiro laughed, possibly the first true smile of the evening breaking from his mouth. "Exactly. What better way to say 'Who will mourn you when you're gone?' than 'I want grandchildren'?"

"It is admittedly less morbid."

"That and she actually does want hoards of grandchildren. Every birthday since thirteen, she's scolded me for wasting yet another year of valuable baby-making time."

Ellona sniffed. "Well, I still think I prefer her to my own mother. Not that that takes much." Casimiro's mouth twitched again, though not with the same sureness. She could understand, though. Mothers were an awkward topic, and she doubted anything else that could come from this conversation would be any less. "So... I guess I should ask for the formality of it: where do you stand on the children front?"

"Children?" Stray locks fell away from his eyes as he tipped his head back in thought. He had kind of a comical face--must have come from his father--but she supposed there were worse things kids could be than strange-looking. "Well, I don't feel like I'd die unfulfilled if I never had any. It might be nice to have two or three, but I won't force it if you don't think you want any more."

"Hmm. Well, I don't think I'd outright object to one or two more, as long as you don't want a whole army of them." She didn't, really, especially now that both of her children with Ietrin were big enough that she didn't need to cater to their every beck and call. Still, she'd had enough stress in her life in recent months. "I don't want to start trying immediately, though."

"Neither. I think there would be too much pressure if we tried while my mother was still here--plus apparently Bernardo and Hilla are thinking about trying again, so she might appreciate it if they were spaced out somewhat. Less of a baby drought."

"Plus you'd probably need some time to brace yourself for the idea of sex with me again."

He grinned apologetically. "Maybe just a little. Do you think we should maybe postpone the rest of this talk until spring? See how we're both feeling then?"

Spring. A good few months away, far enough into the future that their opinions could change, not so far that they couldn't predict most major obstacles. It was as reasonable a suggestion as any. "All right. Spring."

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Hilla Reminds Herself of Worse

January 6, 1181

Apparently only hosting by proxy, Riona and Isidro had been relegated to the center seats of their own table. Not having met Eliana before--despite Hilla riding over to warn her the second Casimiro had dropped by with the invitation--Riona had laid the foundation for a protest, and some part of Hilla wished she had gone through with it. But she hadn't forgotten the one time her mother-in-law had dropped by for a couple weeks to stay with her and Bernardo, so whatever it was she secretly craved she knew it was a bad idea. And Isidro had known too, not so much as glancing at his usual seat as they'd entered the dining hall. As far as Eliana was concerned, Casimiro was the host; he was simply borrowing Isidro's finished, useable dining room, a luxury he lacked and that Isidro ought to have been grateful to have.

Then again, perhaps all of that was merely excuse to ensure Ellona's assignment to the far end of the table. Eliana tolerated her children-in-law, of course--how on earth would she get her coveted grandchildren without them?--but truly to her they were little more than a means to an end, or she might have protested Hilla's own marriage with a blunter force than her passive-aggressive barbs.

Ah, but she did have to admit that the evening had passed more smoothly than she'd expected. Between Ellona's side and Casimiro's, there were enough people present to excuse her from any Eliana-dominated conversation longer than a cordial hello, and many were children besides--and there was little on the earth Eliana liked more than children.

Of course, the table had been cleared and the children had scattered. Well, unless the two older boys counted as children, though Ellona's youngest brother probably didn't. Roddie probably did, though. If he didn't, then Lord only knew how old Hilla was. Regardless, it was time for the post-meal chat, and Hilla had taken a seat on the wrong side of the table.

"But my God, I just can't believe that sister of yours!" Eliana's hand hit the edge of the table as her sons shared glances. "Silvia took my advice, of course, good girl that she is. So did Catalina, for all she must have been doing something wrong there. As for Nieves--I'll grant you, her husband's face isn't much to look at and I doubt any other part of him is more impressive. But heaven forbid I even suggest the idea to Lorenza!"

Bernardo shot Hilla some strained, long-suffering gaze, not unlike Gualtiero's when he wanted cake. Casimiro took the braver, more foolish route of trying to respond. "Mother, I know you want lots of grandkids... but you know, not every bride wants to walk down the aisle with a baby already in her."

"Why not? It never hurts to get a head-start on things! Why, if your father hadn't been such an old prude--" Bernardo begged her to stop with a panicked shake of his head. Thankfully, Eliana indulged him. "Anyway. Can't say I know what to do with the girl. Her man would have her in a heartbeat, but apparently she'd rather listen to the Bible than me. Reyes thinks we ought to have let her join that convent. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous in your life? There are no men in a convent! Granted they're a largely useless tribe--my boys excluded, of course--but facts are facts, and the fact is that she can't give me any grandchildren without a cock in her."

Roddie, a little tipsy off a few ill-advised cups of wine apparently having heard despite being a reasonable distance away, waved his arm in an attempt to but in--not that Hilla could understand his wanting to be a part of the conversation, but she'd known enough ten-year-old boys to figure they weren't creatures of logic. "You know, the church people do mingle sometimes, you know. My brother Jadin sometimes goes to the convent to 'confess'. With his penis."

That did it--Hilla had to turn her head and catch a glimpse at Riona's face. "Roddie! We just ate!"

"What? It's true. Also, my grandfather wanted my father to be a priest, so Father went to a monastery for a while before he ran off with my big siblings' mother. At my sister Vera's wedding, Father and the baron got really drunk and they were sharing old stories, and there was this lady who used to sell flowers in the village by the monastery, and she and my father had sex in the confessional."

"Roddie! Eww! What is wrong with you?"

"And there's more! She came back a week later with her friend, who--"

"We get it, Roddie." Hilla sighed and turned to face Eliana, who was now looking at her too. Oh, how she'd appreciated her invisibility! If only she'd had the stomach to let Riona vomit on the table. "So... when is Lorenza's wedding?"

"March. So I suppose the earliest I'll get to hold that baby in my arms is December." She slumped, resigned, as if no greater tragedy had struck anyone ever. "On a more positive note, Silvia's is in April, and she was a week late when I left."

Roddie yawned. "You know, sometimes women are just late for no reason."

"No one asked you!" Riona snapped.

"Alas, it's true." Eliana shook her head. "It's God's idea of cruel humor. We people are made in God's image after all--and most people turn out horrid. Why, I have this nephew--"

Isidro cleared his throat. "Um, Aunt Eliana? I'm your only nephew."

"Right, right. As I was saying, I have this nephew..."

Oy. There were worse mothers-in-law out there, Hilla reminded herself. Worse still, there were worse mother-in-laws who actually lived with their children. Eliana lived in a whole other country. And she wasn't even staying with Hilla and Bernardo this time. They'd only see her when everyone else did, when there were plenty of other people around to speak with instead. This dinner was the most they'd see of her while she was here.

And for this moment, well, there were worse topics of discussion that could have...

"So. Roddie." Eliana leaned forward and stared past Isidro to Riona's still annoying, still slightly inebriated little brother. "Since you know so much about female reproduction, any tips on how to keep the Good Lord from getting his good laugh? Really, it's about time Hilla gave me another grandchild."

Or not.

NEXT CHAPTER:

In Which Casimiro Earns No Complaint

January 6, 1181

"Mother!" Casimiro hoped that the theatricality of his voice wasn't as evident as he feared. It wasn't as if he wasn't happy to see her--at least, so he told himself--but her letter had only preceded her by a couple days and preparation for her impeccable standards couldn't have been met in less than a month. And that was assuming that she had in fact already met all of the hosting parties, and no one was under any implied obligation to impress her. "You certainly made good time."

"What can I say? After I sent that courier on his way, I couldn't bear to postpone my departure any longer. Not when my little baby finally made it down the aisle--and with such an... interesting woman, no less." She rocked him from side by side, her arms tightening around his chest. It had been a while since he'd last required such discretion in a gasp for air. "So, when do I get to meet her? More importantly, is she pregnant yet?"

How had he known she would ask? "Um... not so far as I'm aware?"

"Oh." His mother's arms dropped. At least he could breathe freely now. "Well, don't put off remedying that. Really, seven of eleven children grown now, five wed and two betrothed, and only two living grandchildren to show for it! Lucky my idiot brother doesn't count girls, or he'd be ahead of me there--and with only the scar-faced half-breed around for production, at that! Er, no offense to your cousin, of course. Say, how is he doing?"

"Isidro? He's--"

"Yes, yes, of course he is. But here I am, blathering on about my idiot brother and his half-breed son when there's family in the room!" She peered over Casimiro's shoulder, finally bothering to acknowledge Ellona's presence. Her smile seemed indulgent, but to her credit, at least the disapproval was only obvious in one eye. "My apologies, dear. You're so skinny I didn't even see you there."

"Yes, I get that all the time." Casimiro could guess at her expression, but he turned around anyway. Sure enough--her forced politeness face, half-blinking eyes and twitching smile in all their glory. If he'd had his way, his wife and his mother would have never met. "Shall I have someone take your robe?"

"Thank you, but no. I daresay I'll need it all week in a drafty old place like this." Knowing Ellona, she was probably dying to ask why Casimiro's mother couldn't keep herself warm with her own stuffiness, but tactful restraint wasn't beyond her. By Casimiro's reckoning, she was winning the conversation; of course, his mother had a different way of keeping score. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come a little closer and let me take a look at you."

Ellona bit her lip and came forward, arms crossing as she drew to a halt. His mother paid her an obligatory sweep of the eyes, but if Casimiro knew her at all, her opinion had been fully formed the minute she'd received the news. "Hmm. You're prettier than your sister--not that that takes much, that poor plain darling.

"Ah, but what is beauty in the long run? She did give me a grandchild just recently, after all--though it was about damn time, what with the wedding being three years ago now. I'm sure you won't spend so much time dilly-dallying?"

Ellona's lashes fluttered shut and opened, the eyes behind them now fixed on Casimiro. "I take it you don't mean 'dilly-dallying' as a euphemism."

"Oh, I have no use for euphemisms. I call a spade a spade." The falsely cheery grin she'd been wearing fell to a smug smirk. "And I call lovemaking 'fucking'."

Ellona didn't so much as blink. Casimiro wondered if his mother called that a pass or a fail. "As we all might as well."

"Indeed. What a place the world could be if everyone could just get to the point! And no, dear, when I say 'point', I make no reference to a man's phallus." Casimiro cringed on both of their behalf. But his mother didn't notice, instead opting to eye Ellona's hips. "Honey, perhaps you ought to fetch me these children of yours. I'm sorry, but with your figure, I won't believe that they exist unless I see them for myself."

"Of course you won't." The same sarcasm oozed from her words, but it reeked of self-deprecation. He'd have to console her when he got the chance. His mother tended to bring that out in people. "They're probably off bothering the page, as usual. Wait here."

Ellona wasted no time in leaving, walking a little briskly for Casimiro's comfort--though a little slowly for what he'd imagined. She still seemed to be holding up better than Hilla had when his mother had paid Bernardo a visit.

"Well..." Now that Ellona was out of earshot, he supposed he might as well get to the decidedly non-phallic point. "What do you think?"

His mother shrugged as she brushed around him and made an oversized throne of one of the couches. "What do I think? I think she's freakishly tall. But Bernardo married a peasant and Augustin married a woman who took two years to get pregnant, so I suppose I can't complain."

Huh. That was... better than he'd expected. He sat down on the other couch and searched her for any other critiques hiding behind that more or less resigned expression. "So, her children don't bother you...?"

"Why should they? It's not as if she's a prostitute. If a prince wants you to fuck him, you fuck him good and hard." God. He doubted she was speaking from experience, but sure enough, the disturbing image turned up anyway. "Besides, they're proof that she's fertile. And they double my grandchildren count--even if they are bastards."

Casimiro grimaced. "Right."

"Though if my friends back home ask, she was a widow. Anyway, I take it you have a nice supper planned for tonight?"

Supper. Of course they'd picked the wrong month to renovate the dining hall. "Um, well... yes. But it'll be at Isidro's place. He, uh... he has the better cook."

"Hmm. Well, given that boy's inferiority in every other aspect of life, at least he has that." His mother shook her head, a sigh of half-assed pity breezing out of her mouth. "Be a dear and compliment the food every chance you get? I'd hate to see my only nephew miss out on one of his rare chances for a shred of self-esteem."

"Uh-huh."

Well, hopefully Ellona would be back with the children any minute. Someone had to ride over to Isidro's and tell him he was hosting a big supper that night.

NEXT CHAPTER: