December 9, 2014

In Which Darry Wastes His Time

June 8, 1188

Darry wasn't supposed to go into the forest without an adult, but what his parents didn't know wouldn't hurt them. He went into the forest all of the time anyway. Was it so horrible that sometimes he wanted to walk home from school with his best friend instead of his sisters?

Trouble was, Falidor lived in Tetran and Darry lived in Armion. So, if Darry wanted to get home before his mother started fretting, he had to take the shortcut through the forest. The first time had been a little scary, but he'd grown used to it. He actually kind of liked it now. At least it beat walking home with his sisters. Yvanette was always in too much of a hurry, and Aspen liked to dawdle.

Hey, Frank! Look who it is!

Huh? Darry frowned. Was someone else using the shortcut? He'd thought he was alone.

It's that kid with the funny orange hair!

Orange? Falidor's was much more orange than Darry's was!

Nah, I think the other kid's is more orange. But this one has a funny nose.

Of course he has a funny nose! He's a meatsack, isn't he? All meatsacks have funny noses. Why would he be any different?

Hey, is it a little sexist that we're just assuming the kid's a boy? I mean, it's not like it's easy to tell the man meatsacks and the woman meatsacks apart...

Who the hell cares? It's a meatsack! Meatsacks don't have feelings.

Who was talking? And what was a meatsack?

Hmm. Yep, you might be right, Dave. Kid probably isn't even aware of boys and girls.

That did it. Whoever it was, Darry had a thing to make clear. "I'm a boy!"

Shit, Frank. I think he heard us.

Meatsacks can hear? That's news to me.

Were those voices coming from...? "Trees?"

He's talking to us! What do we do? Have you ever talked to a meatsack before?

Why the fuck would I have? I didn't even know they could talk!

Me neither. Hey, kid--can all meatsacks talk, or just you?

"I'm not a meatsack, I'm a human!" Darry shuffled off the path and toward the two trees in question. The talking trees. No one had ever told him trees could talk! "And most of us can talk?"

Really? The ones with the hairy tails never say anything.

"Those are squirrels!"

Eh. What's one meatsack versus another?

Darry snarled. Perhaps this was the time to try out some adult words. "You two are assholes!"

ALL TREES ARE ASSHOLES!

"All of them?"

Well, can you blame us? All you meatsacks keep biting us and build nests on us and chopping us down. Why shouldn't we be assholes?

By the way, what's an asshole?

Darry wouldn't dignify that with a response. "If you're all assholes, then why aren't all the other trees making nasty comments?"

They're asleep, you dumb meatsack! We're early risers!

"It's the middle of the afternoon!"

Yeesh, what a stupid kid!

I know, hey? It can't be afternoon. It's still light out!

Darry would have to start being more selective with his curiosity. This exchange had been a complete waste of time. "I'm going to leave now."

NEXT CHAPTER:

7 comments:

Van said...

Three more tests...

Ann said...

Weeeeeeell! You did say that we'd get a glimpse of why Elarys is up so interested in that forest... but I didn't expect talking trees!!
I'm guessing it's only Darry who can hear them because of that whole sex-pond magic thing? Does that extend beyond plant-life, I wonder? Though we've had no evidence of that yet. Could be he's just coming into his powers and hasn't been around any animals/other stuff that might talk?
In any case, an intriguing power! I'm very curious to see where you're gonna go with this. :)

And just gotta say, I love that one of the trees is 'Frank'. That starteled a laugh out of me, even half-awake as I am. That was great! Thank you! :D

Van said...

Well... the fact that the trees in the forest are sentient does have something to do with what Elarys is up to, but she isn't aware of the fact. Granted, knowing what she knows, she wouldn't be surprised. ;)

Bingo! Talking to trees is Darry's superpower. Alas, I don't think it will extend to animals just because it is such a pain to pose them... but it may extend to other plants besides trees. I haven't decided yet. ;)

Thanks! Heheh... I was a bit stumped (*cough*) about what to name the trees for a while. Then, I thought it would be funny to give them the least imaginative names I could think of. XD

(By the way--once I'm through finals, I may be able to get back to chat more often. My last one is Friday.)

mimusofbellingar said...

Wouldn't trees technically be hermaphrodites (with a few exceptions, of course)? xD
Hm, I wouldn't think that Elarys would have any use for talking trees, though. I mean, what would she do with them? xD'

Van said...

XD I suppose these trees, like humans, have a wide variety of sexes and gender identities not confined to a strict binary.

Elarys doesn't have any specific use for talking trees, though I'm sure she'd find them interesting (if inconsequential). They're more symptomatic of what it is about the forest that truly interests her.

Penelope said...

Heh. "Meatsack." :D

Van said...

Robots use "meatbag", trees use "meatsack". XD