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November 2, 1204
While they had made arrangements for most of their children, neither Leara nor Lorn would have hesitated to break off any of those betrothals had the other party proven unsuitable: violent, ill-tempered, manipulative, neglectful, or otherwise a risk to a spouse's well-being. A dreadful marriage, indeed, did not a strong alliance make--nor would any alliance have been worth the cost of any hope for one of their children's happiness.
So far, however, their children's betrothals had proven to be, more or less, functional matches. Celina had been wary of Karlspan at first, but by the time they'd married, they'd grown quite fond of each other. Neva had grown up with Prior, and their relationship had eventually moved from friendly to affectionate. Privately, Leara didn't quite like Eliana as much as a mother-in-law ought, but it wasn't as if she was outright wicked, and she seemed to make Dalston happy enough. And of course, she couldn't have picked a better woman for Ricky than Hollie.
But if their streak of good fortune there was bound to end eventually, she was relieved to see that Koradril wasn't the one to break it. Farilon's early death had caused Camaline enough grief over her parents' political games, enough anxiety over an uncertain future. Koradril, for all Leara wouldn't have thought Camaline too keen on a widower nineteen years her senior, had both his Aunt Holladrin's steadfast goodness and his father Oswald's unfailing health. It hadn't been her chance at romance that Camaline had mourned with Farilon, after all, but her settled future.
Not that, Leara mused as she caught Camaline glancing Koradril's way yet again as he and Lorn carried on with talk of some trade route or another, romance was out of the question.
"You're rather quiet today, darling."
"Oh?" Camaline blinked, as though she herself hadn't realized this--or hadn't been overly aware of her mother's presence. "My apologies, Mother. I may have talked myself out for the day on that morning walk I took with Koradril."
"That's quite all right--though I didn't know you'd taken a morning walk."
"I didn't tell you?"
"No. I suppose that does support your theory of having talked yourself out, though." Leara smiled, as much to herself as to her daughter. The men's conversation, from what she could hear, did seem to skew in favor of Lorn's voice; perhaps Koradril had found himself in a similar condition. "That, or the theory of how little there can be to say in front of one's parents; I somehow doubt you and Koradril spoke much of trade routes."
"But why shouldn't we have spoken of trade routes, Mother?" Camaline looked over at Koradril quickly before turning back to Leara with a pink tinge to her cheeks. "A princess ought to know something of trade routes, after all."
NEXT CHAPTER:
June 8, 1198
"Now, you keep taking good care of my sister and the kids for me," Leara's youngest brother instructed a tail-wagging Jadin as he scratched the dog behind the ears. Dogs had always loved Marsden, and Marsden had always loved them right back. His mother hadn't allowed him to have one as a child--but that hadn't stopped him from raising a litter of puppies that had belonged, nominally, to their cook. "Can you do that?"
Jadin yipped. Marsden moved his hand to the middle of the dog's head and gave an affectionate pat. "I thought so."
Leara pinched the seam of her skirt between her fingers. Her youngest brother--twenty-two years her junior, younger than two of her own children--had finished his studies and would be heading back to Dovia. His graduation had been the week prior, and she and Lorn had hosted him after he'd left his residence, him and Farilon and the twins. Any minute now, the other three would finish saying their goodbyes upstairs, and then they'd be down here, bidding her the same. And all four of them would be off, back to Dovia, even though Dea had formally granted that Laralita's descendants were welcome to return to live in Naroni should they choose.
Too many years too late, alas. Marsden was a Dovian now, as were Leara's other half-siblings. Well... except for Mona. Mona, Queen of Carvallon, who raised some kind-but-strange children who asked peculiar questions they ought to have already known the answers too anyway--at least, if her one meeting so far with her nephew Telvar was any indication. Perhaps his younger siblings were a little more-down-to-earth.
But at least she'd get to meet them, finally--whenever they started. Thanks to the university, she would meet all of her nieces and nephews. Even if they were Dovians, Carvalli... whatever.
"You'll be in Dovia in August, right?" Marsden asked as he turned away from the dog and stepped up to Leara for a hug. "For my wedding?"
Leara smiled. His wedding would inevitably mean more nieces and nephews soon--these ones, younger than at least one of her grandchildren. Lord. She hoped she lived to meet them. "You know it."
"Good. Athalia only has two siblings; she'd never forgive me if she didn't get to meet all of mine."
Leara smiled. There had been times, definitely, when she had not quite been keen on their large family. But... well, she'd made a large family of her own since then. Large families had their downsides, but at the end of the day...
Well... who would she choose to let go, if given the opportunity to downsize?
"I'm sure her two siblings love her very well."
"I'm sure they do too, but they're so much younger--not that you wouldn't know how that feels."
She smacked him lightly on the arm as he smirked. "Where did you get that mouth on you?"
"Probably one of my many uncles on my mother's side," he answered with a grin. "Or perhaps one of the family dogs."
NEXT CHAPTER:
June 15, 1197
"I take it that you're enjoying having a baby around the house without having to have gone through the pregnancy and labor yourself?" Leara asked with a wistful smile as she sat down at the table, Leon and Xetrica left with free reign of the castle on the rug.
Raia couldn't suppress her private chuckle. In recent years, she'd come to worry that she and her best friend and had grown apart, what with her role as chancellor and Leara's as duchess, her increased closeness with Ellona and Leara's with her sisters-in-law. But, if she found Leara's continued obsession with babies more endearing than annoying, then their friendship was hardy enough that she needn't have fretted. "Naturally--but I more enjoy not having to worry about leaving any of the children anywhere else for the day, now that Rennie's here." She'd been surprised initially when her daughter-in-law--her equal in distaste for the domestic--had opted against pursuing a career in favor of independent study and contemplation around the house, but now that she thought about it, she struggled to see Rennie in any sort of subordinate role, be that employee pleasing employer or freelancer pleasing customer.
"Well... I can't say I can relate much to that, not working outside the home myself." That, and being a duchess came with certain perks, such as always having a nanny on hand. "But I do envy you having little Searle here. I wish Ricky would find himself a wife already."
"Oh." Dear Lord. Sometimes, Raia forgot just how her native class tended to think about such things--not that her own family hadn't practically been a class of its own. "Well, better he take his time finding someone compatible rather than marry just anyone, surely."
"It wouldn't be just anyone. Really, Lorn should have found him a wife, like he's found spouses for all of our other children--but since Ricky is the heir, only he can choose who will rule beside him." Leara's violet eyes rolled to her lashes. "Really, the heir is the one who has to marry. If Ricky has no wife and no children, then Dalston will be duke after him--and Dalston won't have picked who rules beside him, Lorn's made sure of that!"
"I don't know. You have nine children; if Lorn had just let them all find their own spouses, I'm sure at least one of them would have found someone they cared about and produced heirs for Armion."
"Being a Kemorin, you would say that!" Leara laughed. "It's a hefty chance. If all of our sons went unmarried and Armion passed to one of our daughters, then who's to say her husband wouldn't move to usurp her from his position of consort? I don't want my girls being treated like that, nor do I want control of the shire to leave the family any time in the foreseeable future."
Foreseeable future. As if it weren't impossible that a meteor would wipe out Armion Keep and all of its inhabitants the night after tomorrow. "I struggle to see your girls falling for men like that."
"Most men are like that--creatures of pure ego. I'm just glad Lorn isn't, and is able to serve our sons with his example. But really, for the more immediate concern... my only grandchild is all the way out in Dovia. The least my firstborn could do for me is give me one who lives in my own castle."
"And here I thought we agreed that we were too young to be grandmothers."
"We are! But since I'm a grandmother anyway, I might as well be a grandmother twice over--like you are, might I remind you!"
"Possibly more times than that, now that Rio's discovered brothels." Raia sighed. There were definite downsides to being a Kemorin... but, if randy sons were the cost of having been able to marry a steward she loved rather than some baron's son her father had picked for her, then randy sons it was. "At least he's learned enough from his uncles that I'm sure he treats the women well."
"Hmm. Perhaps that's where all of Ricky's energy is going." Leara shook her head, but not without a fond tug at the corner of the mouth. "But seriously--if that boy hasn't found himself a betrothed before I find another grey hair, he's marrying the next woman who walks past the gates of Armion Keep."
Raia smirked. "Assuming that she's an earl's daughter or higher, of course."
As oblivious to the joke as a good princess and duchess would be, Leara nodded. "Naturally."
NEXT CHAPTER:
February 2, 1183
The baby's cries had subsided, leaving only the occasional breath to break the strained silence. Arydath hadn't said a word as she'd cut the cord and wiped the remains of the birth from the newborn body, nor when she'd retreated to the nursery to diaper and swaddle the child--not something for which Arydath normally required privacy, if Jeda recalled correctly from her previous two labors. And it hadn't been just Arydath. Leara hadn't moved since Jeda had said she could leave her side for a look at the baby, the baby Jeda herself could barely see from the bed even if she strained, and she had made no comment. Camaline, who had been at the foot of the bed with Arydath, had fixed herself in front of the window following the birth, nothing and no one existing for her but the February snow.
And now Arydath was several minutes back, and still nothing. Jeda didn't know how much longer she could take it. What was wrong with her baby? All she could tell from where she sat was that the infant had the right number of heads, and the right shape. "Arydath?"
The midwife looked, but still said nothing. The soundless, senseless void swelled and it was killing her. She had to know.
Jeda stood. This, Leara seemed to notice. "Jeda, you should be resting..."
"I can't."
In her spot by the window, Camaline tensed. Arydath swallowed, and Jeda's baby squirmed--just like any other baby. What weren't they telling her? And why? It was her baby. She had to know. "What's wrong with him?"
Arydath sighed. She glanced down at the baby in her arms, then to Leara, who decided she found the floor more interesting. Finally, and not without hesitation, she turned to Jeda. "There's nothing wrong with her."
Camaline's fingers twitched to a tight clamp around her own arm while Leara slouched, shrinking into herself. They knew full well what sort of man their brother was--and with those several consultations even after she'd declared to King Roderick that Jeda was fine, Arydath must have had a sense too. "Oh."
That was it, then. She had fulfilled Ietrin's condition of getting pregnant within the past year, but with that had come the implicit understanding that the baby was to be a boy. For months, Jeda had dared hope it might be. It had sat a bit differently than her other daughters, kicked with great frequency, brought on a separate set of cravings, but apparently those weren't boy things. And apparently Arydath hadn't lost her touch, back when she'd changed the subject every time Jeda had dared muse about the baby's sex.
And now he'd be furious, because they had a beautiful baby girl. Jeda drew a little nearer. The baby looked just like Gennie when she was born, fair blond hair and hazel eyes, sweet and peaceful, but not lacking in that wriggling infant curiosity. She was plump and healthy and perfect, but for Ietrin, that wouldn't be enough.
So it would begin again. He'd allot her the bare minimum of time to recover from the birth and insist that she not nurse the baby herself. Her courses would return. He'd resume his thrice-daily presence in her bed. Four times. Five times. He'd make another ultimatum, and this time he'd be clear to specify a son, as if she had any say in the matter. And maybe she wouldn't be so lucky.
Maybe he would take her books. Maybe he would take her sewing kit and her stuffed animal patterns. Maybe he would ban her friends, her daughters, everyone. What if he pushed her father and brother over the edge? What if they did something rash and then had to suffer for it? All because of her, all because of Ietrin, all because they didn't have...
No. She couldn't have that. Her family would not suffer because of her. Ietrin could not take her daughters.
She could not stand for that. "Don't tell him."
Arydath blinked, as did Jeda herself. She'd maybe thought it on a whim when Gennie had been born, perhaps mused at the possibility during this pregnancy, but she hadn't thought herself stupid enough to suggest it. It might not have been stupidity after all. "I mean... what if we told him... otherwise?"
"Otherwise?" A fingernail flitted to Leara's mouth, a remnant of a childhood nervous habit. "Jeda, we couldn't. He'd find out eventually..."
Eventually, yes. That much was inevitable. But maybe all she needed was a stall for time? "Maybe... maybe it will be easier for us both to conceive a son under less pressure? And when that happens, she could tell Ietrin she wants to join a monastery, then... go off and do as she likes?" That would convince none of them. Camaline hadn't even dignified her with a glance.
Leara picked at the most obvious flaw. "But what if you don't have a son?"
"Then I'll be stuck in this castle until one of us dies." Like I will if Ietrin knows that she's a girl. "I can't think about that right now. I need Ietrin to be happy for a while. If he's miserable, then he makes sure I'm even moreso. Me, and the girls."
I'm so sorry, baby. "I can't take it any more."
Still nothing from Camaline. Leara's slipper dragged across the floor, believing, disbelieving. Arydath bowed her head and held out the infant, whom Jeda took with a care reserved for glass figures. I'm sorry. "The diapers..."
"I'll change them myself."
"What about when she gets older? Children sometimes..."
"She won't. I'll make sure of it." Somehow.
"But hunting trips, dips in the pool... what if some friend wants to take her to the brothel?"
"I'll worry about it then! Just please tell Ietrin that he has a son!" And she hoped to God he wasn't listening at the door right then! If he did find out, she would have to work something out, some way to make sure that her daughter was safe should Ietrin seek to punish the innocent. If that happened, Jeda would take the fall. "Tell him his name is... Holden."
And in my heart, I'll call her Holladrin.
"Please, Arydath. I know it's risky--impossibly risky--but please. Just let me worry about it." If she had to worry. Maybe her only 'punishment' would be the divorce she'd dreamed of for so long. Or perhaps Fred would return and kill Ietrin like he had Roderick. "If he finds out, I'll tell him I bribed you, or blackmailed you. I promise."
The midwife crossed her arms, if only to stop the shaking of her head. "Jeda..."
"But--"
"Jeda, I can't--"
"Arydath."
An imaginary needle pricked the base of Jeda's spine and the sting reverberated upwards. Camaline had spoken at last.
"No offense, Arydath, but you've never had any trouble getting pregnant and you don't know what it's like to have anyone on your back about it, never mind a fucking king."
Jeda turned her head just in time to watch her sister-in-law do the same. Her violet eyes were red with fire. "Tell my brother that he has his precious son. There's always a chance that he'll never learn otherwise."
NEXT CHAPTER:
August 7, 1181
In all her years of knowing Camaline, Jeda suspected she could count the number of times she'd seen her embrace anyone on one hand, but if there was any case worthy of a hug without involving a death, Xeta's was one of them. "Good to hear your sister's all right."
"Well... alive, at least." Poor Xeta. Of course Rona was the one who had Jeda's true sympathies, but her sudden illness had locked the whole family in a fragile limbo that had only by sheer force of will released them on a happy note. It was that same illness that had set forth the chain of events that had resulted in the death of Xeta and Rona's father all those years ago, the same swift poison that had taken Camaline's mother, though under very different circumstances.
Or were they so different? Rona too had been protecting her child.
"Not well, then?"
Xeta shook her head as the two parted. "She's physically fine, but... I don't know, something to do with her and Ashe has her down. My mother won't tell me the details, but basically Rona told him to go west with Isidro and them."
"Hmm. A woman angry with her husband. Never thought I'd hear that before," Camaline quipped as the two of them headed to the couch, earning herself a warning glare from Leara. But Jeda doubted Leara could understand. Surely Lorn never gave her much cause to be angry. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll blow over some way or another. Have you seen them together? He's always trailing after her like a pathetic lovesick puppy. He'll make some desperate return to her good graces soon enough."
"I don't think he's pathetic," Jeda muttered, despite not being entitled to much of an opinion. Frankly, a pathetic lovesick puppy was hardly cause to complain from where she was sitting. Not that she was entitled to much of an opinion of Ietrin either.
Leara rolled her eyes. "Oh, Jeda, Camaline thinks every man is pathetic."
"Vicious lies. My son is a man, you know."
"Your son is three."
"And hence he still needs someone to bathe him, and that someone can hardly avoid the sight of between his legs. Believe me, he's a man." Camaline settled onto the cushion beside Jeda, where Xeta had sat before she'd arrived. It didn't come as a surprise that apparently Camaline bathed Prior herself; Jeda never would have guessed it before he was born, but Camaline was such a devoted and thorough mother that Jeda couldn't help but feel guilty whenever Ietrin insisted that any given child-rearing duty was 'servant's work'. Perhaps she'd count her sister-in-law as inspiration to stand up to him when the next one came--if, God willing, there was a next one. "And if I have anything to say about it, he'll be a man any woman will be lucky to have."
"I should hope so." Leara's smile might have read to Camaline as indulgent, but Jeda knew for a fact that Lorn wanted Prior for little Neva. One of the few perks of living at the castle--most arrangements were bounced off the king first, and Jeda happened to hear of a few of them. Of course, it seemed Lorn hadn't brought it up with Sparron, as she suspected Sparron would have told both her and Camaline had such a thing occurred.
Ietrin had yet to make any similar efforts in that area and Jeda wasn't sure how to feel about that. On one hand, given her own marriage, she wanted better for her girls, and she wasn't confident in Ietrin's ability to deliver that. On the other, it seemed like the most basic way a man like Ietrin could show he cared for his daughters at all.
"But back to Rona's problem, though it may not be my business, I'll admit I'm also curious. Celina won't tell me either. She won't even tell Lorn."
Leara turned to Raia, as if somehow she'd know. But Raia just shrugged. "Celina doesn't have to tell Lorn everything. If Rona doesn't want it getting out there, then who is Celina to shout it from the rooftops? Celina would never do that anyway."
"I know, I know. I'm just curious as to what Ashe did to get himself in so much trouble with Rona. I mean, I know she wouldn't have asked him to involve Deian, but it would be silly to fault him for that since it did save her life." Leara cast a confirming glance at Xeta, who nodded. Jeda had nothing to offer but a strained twitch of the mouth. "He's always so good to her. Not that we don't all have our annoyances, but I'm baffled as to what he could have done to get her so angry."
"Maybe he knocked her up again," offered Xeta with a smirk.
Raia shook her head. "Riona said Arydath was there at one point. She would have said something if Rona was pregnant."
"Yes, but she had to dash off so quickly to check on Ell--" A glare from Raia and Leara's hand darted to her mouth, eyes wide and fixed on Jeda.
Raia sighed. "Damn it, Leara."
"Ellona is pregnant?" Jeda leaned forward in her seat, turning slightly for a fuller view of Raia. She supposed she could understand her friends' desire to keep the news from her--it was hardly unheard of for a wife to resent her husband's mistress, after all, even if said mistress was no longer involved with said husband and had found herself a husband of her own--but Jeda wasn't resentful. Or angry. Or even jealous. She didn't know what she was, but she didn't feel bad about it. "Ietrin's former mistress?"
Leara exchanged a quick glance with Raia, who relented with a nod. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but yes, she is."
"With her husband's baby, though."
Another nod. "Yes. She won't even speak to Ietrin any more, much less sleep with him."
"Interesting." Jeda looked back over her shoulder at Xeta and Camaline. Xeta looked mildly concerned, but more or less keeping it together; Camaline, of course, was the master of the gambler's face. Since she wasn't screaming or in tears, Jeda wondered if her friends, in this moment, thought the same of her. "How long have she and Casimiro been married, again?"
"Almost a year now," Raia answered. "They didn't start seriously talking about babies until about May, though."
"I see." Jeda bit her lip, overly conscious of the way Raia was studying her. If the light in her eyes meant anything, perhaps they were on the same page after all. "Do you know when she's due?"
"The later part of February, I think."
February. That counted back to... May. They'd scarcely had to try at all.
This after ten years and only two children with Ietrin.
"Interesting..."
NEXT CHAPTER:
January 27, 1180
As usual, shy Neva had opted for the solitude of her xylophone over playing dolls with her less inhibited cousin, but Farilon was more than happy to indulge Yvanette in her stead. Leara wasn't quite sure what to make of that. It was true that most of her memories of Farilon involved a friendly little child ready to jump into any game anyone might have proposed... but in those memories, Leara herself was just an older child. She was an adult now, Farilon's brother's wife, mother of three-going-on-four. Farilon was--would have been?--nearing fifteen now. The prospect of having to entertain a year-old niece would have sent most fifteen-year-old boys running back to their tutors, begging for more Latin exercises.
Not that Farilon was most fifteen-year-old boys. "He's certainly good with the kids."
Rona lifted one ankle and crossed it over the other. She'd been looking on with some concern, probably fearing the sharp edges of her brother's borrowed body, but without any realized issue, she shrugged in defeat. "He is a kid."
"Yes, well..." Leara trailed off, not sure if there was a right thing to say to that and failing to find it if there was. Perhaps it would be best to take a cue from Jadin and avoid discussing Farilon with his family. "Yvanette seems to be having fun."
"She does." And for all Rona was concerned, it seemed that was the end of it.
"Good of your husband to take mine today." Rona raised an eyebrow. It was a weak shift in conversation and Leara knew it, but it was the first thing that had come to mind and therefore it was less awkward than the silence. Perhaps there was some merit in what Camaline had said about her fear of silence. "Lorn needs to get out more."
"So does Ashe. That's why I suggested it." She picked at the hem of her sleeve and sighed. In the past couple years, Rona had grown up quite a bit, but she wasn't beyond the occasional relapse into adolescence. She was still the same girl who had sulked in that same chair back in the days leading up to the tournament, and that hadn't escaped Leara's notice. Not that it made up for all the things that did. "I take it Lorn's stressed over what to do about Deian?"
Leara nodded. "He knows that there hasn't been any cause for alarm, but..."
"But he's still concerned," Rona finished for her. "And not without good reason."
I'll say. Not when the creature had slaughtered all those innocents. Not when he had killed Lorn and Rona's own father. Not when he had threatened Rona's husband, for all Ashe had been sparing with the details when he'd finally felt safe in telling at all. But Rona didn't say any more. She no doubt didn't want to talk about Deian either.
"So... what about your man? Why is he due for a good day's hunt?"
"Oh, God. Why isn't he?" And there went yet another topic of conversation. Leara's sister-in-law would never call on her again. "He's always so tense, you know? Like he thinks everything he touches is going to fall apart."
Interesting way of putting it. The fact in itself wasn't so. "A lot of people are tense."
"Not like Ashe is." At the sound of her father's name, the tone no doubt like he'd done something bad, Yvanette glanced back at her mother, eyes wide and inquiring. Rona grimaced and waved her daughter's attention back to Farilon before elaborating. "He... I don't know how to explain it. Like he thinks he's dreaming and he's afraid of waking up, maybe."
Within her, the baby stirred. It was good to know the feeling was mutual. "At least that means it's a good dream?"
"It would be if he let it. That's what's bothering me." Rona peaked back at Yvanette, thoroughly reengaged in her uncle's wordless storyline. According to Celina, the little girl looked just like Rona at that age, but Leara struggled to believe it. It was difficult to imagine a Rona without woes. "I've tried getting him to talk about it, but never to any effect. I think it has something to do with his past, which is another thing he refuses to talk about. And I want him to get past it, because he's so sweet and he loves me so much and I just want us to be happy, but..."
"But you don't know how to help him."
And it seemed, for once, she'd said the right thing. "But I don't know how to help him."
NEXT CHAPTER:
April 17, 1178
Leara could not have picked a better time to show up. For all Raia loved her sister and for all Vera was normally good about avoiding fuss over all things girly, she had to concede that if a young woman ever had an excuse for that sort of excessive giddiness, an upcoming wedding wasn't the most unreasonable. She'd been willing to help with the wedding dress, but that was hardly the same as actively wanting to do so; the interruption had been more than welcome. "Oh, thank God."
Her friend snickered. "Fingers all stitched out?"
Raia held up her hand and examined the finger she'd pricked about ten minutes prior. She could still see the hole if she squinted. "You'd think all that whittling would have helped, but it's a different technique entirely."
"Speaking of which, how's the toy-making going anyway?"
"Wonderfully, thank you very much," she chirped as she sat down on the empty side of the couch. "I hope little Celina liked the horses I made her."
"They're her favorites--and everyone else's, for that matter. Even Ricky's willing to play with her as long as he can be the horses."
"Glad to hear it, because there's a set of soldiers in the works for his birthday." Raia sighed--a little light-headed, maybe even a little dreamy. It was so nice, having a focus! Thank God the kids were now of an age to occupy themselves; as much as she loved them, she'd been itching for something that was just hers. She didn't know what had possessed Rifden to give someone like Falidor a wood carving knife, but with everything it had given her she hardly cared to question. "And speaking of birthdays... should I be working on something special for next winter? A little birdie told me you'd gone off the herbs."
Leara blushed. Raia wasn't sure why she kept telling Rona all these things when they all ended up in Riona's big mouth, but from the looks of that smile it might not have been much of a secret. "We've been trying for another one, yes. I've had a few courses since we started, but if you must know..." The pink tint of her face went almost red. "...the last one was a little while ago."
"Oh?" Raia felt her brow peak in interest. "And just how little of a while ago was this?"
"Not long enough to know for sure, but Rona's expecting another call from Arydath tomorrow, and I was going to visit her again anyway." Leara's eyes closed. Any remaining red drained from her cheeks, leaving them just as pale as the rest of her. "Poor girl. I wouldn't have thought it possible to lose so much weight during a pregnancy."
Raia shuddered. She'd only seen Rona once or twice since they'd made the announcement, but Riona said she was a wreck and Jadin said the same of Ashe. But if nothing else, Rona was much like her mother in the sense that she was tougher than she seemed. "With any luck the nausea will stop soon. That's bound to help at least a little, I would think."
"Arydath said something to that effect. Still a little worrisome, though." Raia nodded in agreement. Did Leara perhaps blame herself in part, not putting a stop to that tournament back in the summer? She'd seen Lorn about a week before and he'd seemed a little guilty. Not that Raia thought either of them--or anyone, really--had any reason to feel so. There was practically a guarantee that a parasite would do at least some damage, even if said parasite was of the offspring variety. "Anyway, this is now probably the worst possible time to ask, but when are you thinking about starting on your next?"
Raia blinked. Had she done something to bring on that question? Some unconscious gesture or unchecked look? She certainly hadn't meant to inspire such thoughts. "Actually, I... haven't really though about that just yet."
"Oh." She sounded almost... disappointed? Raia frowned. She might have expected that from Falidor, or maybe even Alina or Sev, but Leara? "Sorry, I just... well, Ricky plays so well with both of your kids, but they're all a little older than Celina, and I was kind of hoping that maybe my third would have a little playmate in yours."
"Oh." Well, that wasn't completely irrational. Still... "I don't know. I mean, I'd like to have another one eventually, but..." Raia trailed off. For all Leara meant well, she was a princess and a duchess and while she was still a wife and mother she did have other duties with which to occupy herself. Stewards' wives didn't always have that luxury--even if they were also lords' daughters.
But for all she probably wouldn't get it, Leara didn't look quite satisfied. Raia picked at one of her nails and grimaced. "I finally have time for myself again, you know? I mean, the kids are still a lot of work, but there's a world of difference between six-year-olds and newborns. My father's giving me more jury spots and I've been thinking of taking commissions on my toys and it's just kind of nice not to have to drop everything to go nurse or change a diaper or what have you."
Leara pursed her lips. She wasn't about to protest. Seemed that Raia hadn't given her friend the credit she deserved. "I see."
"Thank you." Raia blew a strand of her out of her face and slouched into the cushions. She'd thought she'd had it all mapped out in her head, but now that she'd been asked it was difficult to find the words. "Like I said, I'll probably want another one at some point, but I just don't know if now is the right time. I've finally got other things happening for me and I don't know if I can handle a baby on top of all that."
"I understand." Leara turned her eyes to the empty hearth, a slight smile tugging at her lips. Raia wasn't quite sure if it was heartfelt, but it was a nice gesture regardless. "For what it's worth, though... if anyone can do it all, it's you."
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