June 8, 1188
Darry wasn't supposed to go into the forest without an adult, but what his parents didn't know wouldn't hurt them. He went into the forest all of the time anyway. Was it so horrible that sometimes he wanted to walk home from school with his best friend instead of his sisters?Trouble was, Falidor lived in Tetran and Darry lived in Armion. So, if Darry wanted to get home before his mother started fretting, he had to take the shortcut through the forest. The first time had been a little scary, but he'd grown used to it. He actually kind of liked it now. At least it beat walking home with his sisters. Yvanette was always in too much of a hurry, and Aspen liked to dawdle.
Hey, Frank! Look who it is!
Huh? Darry frowned. Was someone else using the shortcut? He'd thought he was alone.It's that kid with the funny orange hair!
Orange? Falidor's was much more orange than Darry's was!
Nah, I think the other kid's is more orange. But this one has a funny nose.
Of course he has a funny nose! He's a meatsack, isn't he? All meatsacks have funny noses. Why would he be any different?
Hey, is it a little sexist that we're just assuming the kid's a boy? I mean, it's not like it's easy to tell the man meatsacks and the woman meatsacks apart...
Who the hell cares? It's a meatsack! Meatsacks don't have feelings.
Who was talking? And what was a meatsack?
Hmm. Yep, you might be right, Dave. Kid probably isn't even aware of boys and girls.
That did it. Whoever it was, Darry had a thing to make clear. "I'm a boy!"
Shit, Frank. I think he heard us.Meatsacks can hear? That's news to me.
Were those voices coming from...? "Trees?"
He's talking to us! What do we do? Have you ever talked to a meatsack before?
Why the fuck would I have? I didn't even know they could talk!
Me neither. Hey, kid--can all meatsacks talk, or just you?
"I'm not a meatsack, I'm a human!" Darry shuffled off the path and toward the two trees in question. The talking trees. No one had ever told him trees could talk! "And most of us can talk?"Really? The ones with the hairy tails never say anything.
"Those are squirrels!"
Eh. What's one meatsack versus another?
Darry snarled. Perhaps this was the time to try out some adult words. "You two are assholes!"
ALL TREES ARE ASSHOLES!
"All of them?"Well, can you blame us? All you meatsacks keep biting us and build nests on us and chopping us down. Why shouldn't we be assholes?
By the way, what's an asshole?
Darry wouldn't dignify that with a response. "If you're all assholes, then why aren't all the other trees making nasty comments?"
They're asleep, you dumb meatsack! We're early risers!
"It's the middle of the afternoon!"
Yeesh, what a stupid kid!
I know, hey? It can't be afternoon. It's still light out!
Darry would have to start being more selective with his curiosity. This exchange had been a complete waste of time. "I'm going to leave now."NEXT CHAPTER:
