skip to main |
skip to sidebar
May 27, 1192
Perhaps it was a scandalous time for the young man Lyssa had been courting to call on her. Dea had been summoned to her grandfather's castle. Renata was out sparring with Falidor, while CeeCee had gone to 'help Farilon redecorate his living room'--which translated to, Lyssa figured, 'having sex on his couch'. Thetis and Celina were in class, and Alya and Lia had headed to Veldora to spend their free afternoon at Roddie's new manor. The left Lyssa and Landus most unchaperoned.
Lyssa didn't much mind. "I wasn't expecting you today."
"I know, and I apologize for that. But I got some news this morning, and I thought you ought to be the first to know."
"Oh?" She thought she knew what it was. Her smile drooped a little; she tried to prop it up with a grimace, but it couldn't have been convincing.
"Yes. I had a meeting with your Uncle Lorn today, and he's decided to station me in Carvallon." Yes--as she'd feared. Her late aunt's also-late husband had a house there that was just gathering dust, waiting for some foreign knight to man it. Searle had left it to his daughter Tivie, but she preferred Naroni. The logical choice then for an inhabitant was her brother-in-law, Landus--and, from what Lyssa knew, it would be a good opportunity for him.
Was she horrible for not wanting him to leave her? "I... I see. You're not going right away, are you?"
"Not immediately. I convinced him to at least let me stay until after your birthday." Her birthday was in July--much sooner than it had seemed an hour ago. "But I'll be back as frequently as I can. Two of my siblings are here, after all, and all my nieces and nephews. And, of course, you."
"Of course." But would it be frequently enough? She knew she was being selfish--but surely she wasn't the first person who'd ever felt this way! "I'll miss you the rest of the time, though."
"And I, you--but that's what I wanted to talk to you about." He took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was a sweetheart's kiss, romantic yet chaste, long enough to linger but short enough to leave her wanting more. "If you're interested, I was thinking that after you're done at university, you could... maybe join me there, if you want?"
Lyssa blinked. She hadn't quite expected that. She hadn't been sure that they were that serious.
But, in that second, she knew that they were. "You... you must ask me properly."
"All right." Smiling, he took to his knee. Her heart beat about her chest like a butterfly and she scarcely noticed the rhythm.
"Eilyssa Kemorin, will you marry me?"
NEXT CHAPTER:
December 31, 1188
"Christ, Landus! What are you drinking to grow so tall and where can I get some of it?" Lady Leonora greeted him with a peck on the cheek, sure that he noticed her standing on her toes. But whatever she might have lacked in height--or thought she lacked, since Landus tended to tower over most men, never mind women--she made up for in other aspects. How old was she now? Forty-five, forty-six? She could have passed for one of her own daughters. And nine children did nothing to ruin the effects of that tight, bare-shouldered gown.
A pity he hadn't found a wife at university. He was tired of scolding himself for thinking such things about happily married women. "Height is overrated, my lady. I miss being able to look people in the eye."
Lady Leonora laughed. "I have a name, you know. None of this 'my lady' nonsense."
"Uh, all right. Nora." God, that was awkwardly informal. Perhaps he ought to have used her full name? But no one seemed to call her 'Leonora' without the accompanying 'Lady'. "I'm sorry I'm early."
"Nonsense. You're not the first one here. Besides, it's been so damn long sense we've seen you around here that we need our fill of you before the other guests can steal you away." She winked. Not for the first time, Landus wondered if the Kemorins were only interested in him because he might have been Lady Viridis's stepson. Lady Viridis's stepmother, however, never seemed insincere.
"I take it Neilor and Tivie and the children will be along later?"
"Yes." Though, if the moaning behind the door had been any sort of hint, he wouldn't tell her exactly why. "I think Neilor had an issue with his tunic." That issue being keeping it on his body.
"Ah. Well, we've seen them more recently than we've seen you, and of course you see them all the time. So, are you missing university? Or are you glad to be--?"
"Landus?"
They both turned their heads to the newcomer, a monument to splendor in royal blue and gold. It took Landus a minute to realize who she was.
"Lyssa?"
Damn. He hadn't thought it had been quite this long since he'd set foot in Veldora Keep. What he remembered of Lyssa was a seven-year-old who used to follow him around like a puppy, pestering him with every inane comment she could think of just because he was too polite to tell her off. He'd certainly never seen this young woman, thick auburn locks in an elaborate tail, blue eyes like moons and freckles like stars on the sky of her lovely face. How old was she now? Fifteen, sixteen? Surely not old enough that he ought to have noticed her!
But apparently, old enough that he had. "You, uh... you look nice."
"Thank you. Though I suspect my Aunt Rona will be rather annoyed that I had the seamstress copy her dress." She twirled about with a smirk, skirts flying and folding like a flower sped up. Lady Rona, Landus recalled, had a two-month-old baby; who knew if she'd even show up for the party.
"Perhaps. I can't say I remember what dresses everyone has, but I believe you wear it better."
Lyssa smiled.
When it occurred to Landus to look back at Lady Leonora, her eyes had darted between him and her step-granddaughter more than once. "Perhaps I ought to review the wine selection before anyone else arrives. Lyssa, I trust you'll show Landus into the hall?"
"Yes, Grandmama."
Lady Leonora nodded to them both, then hurried off out the same door through which Lyssa had entered. Now that it was shut between them, Lyssa ventured further into the room. "So. Congratulations on graduating."
"Thank you. I take it you'll be starting university... soon?" He hoped it was soon!
"Soon enough, I suppose. Not this summer, but the summer after that." Damn. "A pity our times there didn't overlap. I should have liked it if you'd shown me around."
"Perhaps I could. I should still be in the area at the time." What a filthy lie, given the duke's hints that he was the first on the list for a possible posting in Carvallon. Why had he even said it?
And why didn't he take it back?
"I should very much enjoy that."
Landus swallowed. "So should I."
"Oh, good!" Such wide eyes. Such wide, pretty eyes.
Why had he lied to them?
"I'll show you into the hall now and let you mingle--but I'll warn you now that I fully expect a dance later on."
NEXT CHAPTER:
January 6, 1181
Apparently only hosting by proxy, Riona and Isidro had been relegated to the center seats of their own table. Not having met Eliana before--despite Hilla riding over to warn her the second Casimiro had dropped by with the invitation--Riona had laid the foundation for a protest, and some part of Hilla wished she had gone through with it. But she hadn't forgotten the one time her mother-in-law had dropped by for a couple weeks to stay with her and Bernardo, so whatever it was she secretly craved she knew it was a bad idea. And Isidro had known too, not so much as glancing at his usual seat as they'd entered the dining hall. As far as Eliana was concerned, Casimiro was the host; he was simply borrowing Isidro's finished, useable dining room, a luxury he lacked and that Isidro ought to have been grateful to have.
Then again, perhaps all of that was merely excuse to ensure Ellona's assignment to the far end of the table. Eliana tolerated her children-in-law, of course--how on earth would she get her coveted grandchildren without them?--but truly to her they were little more than a means to an end, or she might have protested Hilla's own marriage with a blunter force than her passive-aggressive barbs.
Ah, but she did have to admit that the evening had passed more smoothly than she'd expected. Between Ellona's side and Casimiro's, there were enough people present to excuse her from any Eliana-dominated conversation longer than a cordial hello, and many were children besides--and there was little on the earth Eliana liked more than children.
Of course, the table had been cleared and the children had scattered. Well, unless the two older boys counted as children, though Ellona's youngest brother probably didn't. Roddie probably did, though. If he didn't, then Lord only knew how old Hilla was. Regardless, it was time for the post-meal chat, and Hilla had taken a seat on the wrong side of the table.
"But my God, I just can't believe that sister of yours!" Eliana's hand hit the edge of the table as her sons shared glances. "Silvia took my advice, of course, good girl that she is. So did Catalina, for all she must have been doing something wrong there. As for Nieves--I'll grant you, her husband's face isn't much to look at and I doubt any other part of him is more impressive. But heaven forbid I even suggest the idea to Lorenza!"
Bernardo shot Hilla some strained, long-suffering gaze, not unlike Gualtiero's when he wanted cake. Casimiro took the braver, more foolish route of trying to respond. "Mother, I know you want lots of grandkids... but you know, not every bride wants to walk down the aisle with a baby already in her."
"Why not? It never hurts to get a head-start on things! Why, if your father hadn't been such an old prude--" Bernardo begged her to stop with a panicked shake of his head. Thankfully, Eliana indulged him. "Anyway. Can't say I know what to do with the girl. Her man would have her in a heartbeat, but apparently she'd rather listen to the Bible than me. Reyes thinks we ought to have let her join that convent. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous in your life? There are no men in a convent! Granted they're a largely useless tribe--my boys excluded, of course--but facts are facts, and the fact is that she can't give me any grandchildren without a cock in her."
Roddie, a little tipsy off a few ill-advised cups of wine apparently having heard despite being a reasonable distance away, waved his arm in an attempt to but in--not that Hilla could understand his wanting to be a part of the conversation, but she'd known enough ten-year-old boys to figure they weren't creatures of logic. "You know, the church people do mingle sometimes, you know. My brother Jadin sometimes goes to the convent to 'confess'. With his penis."
That did it--Hilla had to turn her head and catch a glimpse at Riona's face. "Roddie! We just ate!"
"What? It's true. Also, my grandfather wanted my father to be a priest, so Father went to a monastery for a while before he ran off with my big siblings' mother. At my sister Vera's wedding, Father and the baron got really drunk and they were sharing old stories, and there was this lady who used to sell flowers in the village by the monastery, and she and my father had sex in the confessional."
"Roddie! Eww! What is wrong with you?"
"And there's more! She came back a week later with her friend, who--"
"We get it, Roddie." Hilla sighed and turned to face Eliana, who was now looking at her too. Oh, how she'd appreciated her invisibility! If only she'd had the stomach to let Riona vomit on the table. "So... when is Lorenza's wedding?"
"March. So I suppose the earliest I'll get to hold that baby in my arms is December." She slumped, resigned, as if no greater tragedy had struck anyone ever. "On a more positive note, Silvia's is in April, and she was a week late when I left."
Roddie yawned. "You know, sometimes women are just late for no reason."
"No one asked you!" Riona snapped.
"Alas, it's true." Eliana shook her head. "It's God's idea of cruel humor. We people are made in God's image after all--and most people turn out horrid. Why, I have this nephew--"
Isidro cleared his throat. "Um, Aunt Eliana? I'm your only nephew."
"Right, right. As I was saying, I have this nephew..."
Oy. There were worse mothers-in-law out there, Hilla reminded herself. Worse still, there were worse mother-in-laws who actually lived with their children. Eliana lived in a whole other country. And she wasn't even staying with Hilla and Bernardo this time. They'd only see her when everyone else did, when there were plenty of other people around to speak with instead. This dinner was the most they'd see of her while she was here.
And for this moment, well, there were worse topics of discussion that could have...
"So. Roddie." Eliana leaned forward and stared past Isidro to Riona's still annoying, still slightly inebriated little brother. "Since you know so much about female reproduction, any tips on how to keep the Good Lord from getting his good laugh? Really, it's about time Hilla gave me another grandchild."
Or not.
NEXT CHAPTER:
March 16, 1180
"So..." Searle began, no doubt out of a desire to say something but an inability to decide just what. "I hope the trip wasn't too tiresome."
Viridis fought to keep from cringing. Whatever a man said to his estranged daughter--or his estranged son, depending on how much Landus knew--after so many years of silence, it certainly wasn't that. Some self-centric corner of her mind mused that he might have been keeping his distance for her sake, to avoid any further reminder of her own lack of a child. If it was that, she wondered if she ought to leave the room, but Searle's hand was cold and trembling around her own under the table. He wasn't distant. He wasn't uncomfortable or guarded or cautious.
He was scared.
Tivalia, though... not so much, not if her face said anything. But perhaps that was by her own design. Her mother had been stoic too. "It wasn't."
Other than, Viridis guessed, the fact that it had been made at all.
"I, uh... I wanted to speak with you at your grandmother's funeral." A segment of Tivalia's lip disappeared behind her tooth. Both of the girl's grandmothers were dead, both in her lifetime. She may have been wondering which one he meant. Viridis didn't have the heart to point that out to Searle. "Your mother--"
"Don't blame it on my mother."
Searle let the thought drop and relapsed into the silence. There was little anger in Tivalia's voice, but that might have been half the effect. It was too easy to dismiss the anger of a sixteen-year-old. Whatever the tone was--whatever emotion for which Viridis had no name--was not so easily brushed aside. "Just... I'm tired, all right? And my mother is tired too."
"Your mother hasn't seen me since--"
"No. She sees you every time she looks at me." Landus glanced over at Neilor and Neilor himself scowled in confirmation. Tivalia, however, let her eyes drop to her lap. "She sees that you're not there. She sees everything she ever had to do on her own, everything you should have been there for. And she sees a need to make it up to me somehow, and she sees that you'll never make it up to her. Don't tell me when my mother last saw you. She's seen you a thousand times for every time you've seen her."
Viridis glanced over at her husband. He had nothing to say to that, because there was nothing to say to that. It couldn't have been whatever long-winded, heart-wrenching speech Tivalia had spent the entire journey preparing--that had been forgotten at the sight of Searle, if Viridis knew anything of such things--but nonetheless the purpose had been served.
"I... take it you'd rather not talk just now?"
It was a weak offering and everyone at the table new it. Nonetheless, Tivalia took it. "Not now. I need to think."
Searle closed his eyes, likely in agreement. None of the three visitors spoke, but no one made any move to leave. Not sure what else to do, Viridis caught Landus's eye. "I take it you're all hungry. Should I tell the housekeeper to start on supper?"
Landus looked to Neilor for an affirming grunt before nodding. Tivalia managed a grimace; it was, as any of Viridis's sisters would have called it, 'fake as hell', but it was still an effort. "That would be nice. Thank you."
NEXT CHAPTER:
March 16, 1180
Sir Searle, Neilor was willing to bet, had a castle of not-insignificant grandeur somewhere back in Dovia, but he had instead opted to live out the rest of his days in a small cottage on the Carvalli coast, as it seemed the pretty-yet-frail young wife trumped any desire he might have had to reconnect with his daughter. Not that such a reconnect was likely to go well in any case, but the thought and all.
It was a clear day when they finally arrived, the first clear day the region had seen in weeks if talk in the nearest village was to be believed. The Carvalli might have taken that as a good sign but Neilor was not one to put much faith in omens. Neither, it seemed, was Tivie; if she was, she might have taken the last couple steps up to the front door a hell of a lot more quickly.
Quickly, not unlike Neilor took those same steps to join her. "Are you all right?"
"I guess." She looped two fingers through the silver knocker and lifted, but let it drop with a force that brought little more than a tap!. "I don't know. What am I even going to say to him?"
"You're not the one who needs to say anything." Of course, he wouldn't blame her in the slightest if she wanted to. "He should know what he did wrong. He ought to spend the rest of his life making it up to you."
"But he won't." And for all she'd come this way--for all she'd dropped her life and gotten tangled up with him and Landus and traveled further than many did in their lives--she looked like she believed it. "This was stupid. I'm not a kid any more. And I have still have my mother, plus a stepfather who actually gives a damn about me. I don't need him."
"No," Neilor agreed. She didn't, not really. She was clever enough to see that there was little point in needing someone so unreliable. But who said it was her father that she needed? "But for what's it's worth, I don't know when you'll get another chance for closure."
"I guess." She shuffled back and slumped onto his shoulder. He took to rubbing at the small of her back, the ends of her strawberry blond curls tickling the side of his hand. "Is it worth it, though?"
"I don't know." She raised her arm to his neck and he felt as thought time had stopped, even though he knew that wasn't the case. If anything, the seconds dashed past with a heightened haste. "That's not my place to guess."
NEXT CHAPTER:
March 7, 1180
"Has he been asleep for long?"
Tivie glanced over her shoulder to see Neilor enter the room, shutting the door behind him, eyeing his brother with an almost paternal concern. It wasn't anything unusual, or so she figured--her own brothers were too young to be fatherly, but she'd seen older male cousins cast such looks on their younger siblings--but nonetheless it summoned a sharp, jealous pang in the pit of her gut. She had received such glances, she supposed. She had a stepfather, two grandfathers, and a not insignificant handful of uncles and cousins, none of whom she suspected of not caring enough and any of whom might have shot her such a glance when she hadn't been looking, but the thought wasn't the comfort it ought to have been.
When she recalled her father, she did so with the flash memories of a child young enough to occupy herself with toys on a rug. She remembered his legs as he walked past, on those few occasions he'd been home, maybe his arms resting if he sat or the back of his head as he walked away. When she strained to picture his face, it was a blank, flesh-colored oval. Her mother said he'd had eyes like hers, but not once could Tivie remember them ever falling on her.
But it was the sort of thing that could wait for when she actually saw him. However deep her bitterness ran, Neilor was hardly an appropriate target. "Not long. Twenty minutes, maybe. How did your search go?"
He'd been out for the past few hours or so on a quest for information. It was a small village, but it was near several crossroads and did well as a trading post and rest stop; there was bound to be someone around with a better idea of how to get to Carvallon than they did.
And if Neilor's grin meant anything, there had been. "Several people agree that we should cross the bridge and continue along that road. It might take us a day or so longer than staying on this side of the river, but the inns along the way are more comfortable and there's less chance of running into any rogues."
"That's fine." And it was, really. She'd waited her entire life already. What was one more day, in the long run? "Thank you, by the way. I know I already said it, but this means a lot."
"Don't mention it. I know what it's like to have unresolved issues with parents." He tossed back his head with a light laugh, though she didn't miss the acid dripping off of it. Given what she'd heard about his mother, she wasn't surprised. "But never mind that. Can I ask you something?"
"I think you just did."
He laughed again, without the edge this time. In its stead, though, lurked more than a little nervousness, which was odd. She didn't know him well, but she wouldn't have guessed he was prone to such feelings. "If I told you your father slept with my mother, would that make things strange between us?"
She supposed she could see his concern there. Regardless, Tivie shook her head. "I already figured as much to be honest. But it's not like we're related."
"No, but..." His eyes flickered over to Landus again. She thought she knew why, and she thought he knew she knew. But Neilor didn't want to talk about it, and that was fine. They would have to talk about it at some point, but it didn't have to be now. "I don't know. I've just been thinking that it should feel strange, but it doesn't, and I wanted to know what you thought."
Tivie shrugged. "That sounds about right."
"Good." He leaned in for a kiss--just a quick brush of the lips, but enough to set a tingle running through her as he pulled away. There was something almost magical about the way his eyes sparkled in the firelight, the rich amber brightening to an almost starry hue, that left the floor beneath her feet more or less non-existent. It was so easy to forget everything else when looking into such eyes. "It's nice to know I'm not crazy."
"Or maybe we're both crazy." It was hardly a sane world, after all. "But there are worse things we could be."
NEXT CHAPTER:
March 7, 1180
"Mind if I join you?"
Tivie sat herself down without giving Landus a chance to protest. Not that he cared to, mind--he liked her well enough, even if it was odd that Neilor had dropped everything to escort this girl he barely knew all the way to Carvallon, and odder still that he'd insisted on Landus coming along--but if she didn't need his permission, he wasn't sure why she'd asked. He gave a belated half-nod as a formality, but it didn't seem to phase her. Not much did, from what he'd seen.
"So... you don't talk much, do you?"
Landus shrugged. "I never know if anyone's listening."
"I'm listening."
And that was nice of her. But if he was honest with himself, he didn't have much to say, or nothing he could say without embarrassing one or both of them. He didn't want to ask--though he thought he knew--what she and Neilor did when they snuck out of the various inn rooms, when they thought he was asleep. He didn't want to ask why she looked so much like that man from the tournament, or why she looked so much like him, for that matter. He supposed he had the pieces and he thought he'd put them together, but he didn't want to be sure if it meant offending the only person who could confirm it.
No, that wasn't quite true. He could have lived with offending her, nice as she was. But there was a certain refuge to be found in not knowing. "You can talk too. You seem to have more to talk about."
Tivie smirked. At least, Landus suspected that she smirked. He'd been looking at the fire, but she seemed like the sort of girl who smirked--in a teasing way, but a far cry from mocking. "Or maybe I just don't know when to shut up."
He let out a small laugh, which seemed to ease them both, even if it failed to inspire any words in him. That was all right. She'd cover the words. "I'm sorry that you got dragged along. You must be missing your friends."
"They'll still be there when I get back."
"I suppose. You might still miss out on something fun, though." Tivie picked a splinter of wood from the floor and tossed it into the fire. It hadn't been much of anything and had little effect on the flames as a result. Landus wasn't sure why he'd expected more. "What about girls? Neilor said Lord Severin's granddaughter is sweet on you."
"Lyssa?" Oh, God. Neilor would mention that. "She's six."
"Fair enough. Still... she'll be sixteen one day, won't she?"
Landus shrugged again. He supposed Lyssa would grow up to be pretty enough, but if anything the thought was terrifying. Beautiful women were frightening enough when he hadn't known them since childhood. Well... Tivie wasn't frightening. Then again, Tivie wasn't beautiful. Not in that way, at least. "I guess..."
"We could turn back if you wanted to, you know." A warm hand patted his shoulder and her balance suffered for it. She wasn't graceful, but that was all right. Landus wasn't so graceful either. "We're not that far from Naroni. If you'd like--"
"No. I'm fine." Or was he? Even a state as minimally positive as 'fine' might have required an opinion. Landus didn't have an opinion, not really. He just was. "I'll keep going with you. You don't have to turn around to take me back."
She fell silent for a minute and he feared he'd said something wrong--some misplaced tone or inappropriate pseudo-synonym. But if he had, he was not destined to know it. "If you're sure."
NEXT CHAPTER:
