In Which Vera and Lucien Break Severin's Brain

April 7, 1178

"All right, let me see if I've got this." Still blinking a little too rapidly for her comfort, Vera's father leaned forward. "You two want to get married."

And most people's fathers didn't need to hear it repeated twice. "Yes, that's the gist of it."

"And you just... randomly decided this?"

Randomly? He must have been paying even less attention than she'd guessed. "Well, not 'randomly'. But yes, we've been talking about it for a while."

"Oh." Perplexed, her father's blinking ceased to an unbroken stare. Five seconds... ten seconds... she couldn't remember the last time he'd gaped at her like that...

"Are you pregnant?"

Lucien choked. Vera would've been relieved that he'd let out a sound if not for the absurdity of her father's question. Had he just assumed that...? "What? No! I'm on the tail end of my monthly right now for God's sake; don't you think the laundress would have told you if she thought I was pregnant?"

Her father shrugged. "Just thought I'd ask. Neither of you are dying, are you?"

What? She exchanged a quick glance with Lucien. He looked even more confused than she felt. "No..."

"Did someone catch you in the act? It was Jadin, wasn't it? I swear, that boy--"

She did not want to hear how that sentence ended. "No! No one saw us doing anything!"

"Really?" He sounded genuinely puzzled. She might have felt for him if he hadn't been setting her nerves on fire. "And I take it neither of you are covering up any homosexual love affairs?"

WHAT? "All right, where the hell did that one even come from?"

"Just trying to be thorough." You don't say. "Seriously, you two just want to get married because... you want to get married?"

And there it was. Vera nodded. "Insane, I know."

Her father drummed his fingers against the surface of the desk. His eyes were so wide she couldn't guess how his sockets could hold them. "You know, I always thought I'd be relieved if one of my children married without a scandal, but this just seems like it's missing something." He somehow managed to blink, the brown of his eyes rolling off of Vera and toward Lucien. "At least tell me you've already made my little girl a woman."

"Father!"

In fact, Lucien had 'made her a woman'--more than once. But her father didn't need to know that.

"Right, right--I get it, you want your privacy." He sighed, crossing his arms over his desk and slumping onto them. This might have made a funny story years down the road if Vera thought any of her friends would believe it. "Can we at least tell people you're pregnant?"

If nothing else, she supposed she could take an obscure pride in the fact that she was probably the only noble girl in history ever to be asked that by her own father. "Umm..."

"Well, we have to tell them something. Damn it, your siblings worked hard to drag the family name through the mud and I'm not about to let you clean it off just like that." Vera raised an eyebrow. Her father swallowed, suddenly struck by the absurdity of what he'd just said. "Or... something to that effect."

She figured all three of them would be better off if she ignored that. "Er... wouldn't people notice if I didn't have a baby that soon?"

"You could always miscarry." It was the same off-hand tone he might have used to tell her it might rain if she'd said it was cloudy. "It happens."

Of course it does. "...Fine."

"Excellent!" Hands clasping like any priest's at the alter, her father shot a smile toward the ceiling and sprung to his feet. "You go tell the laundresses so they can start spreading rumors about your blood-free sheets. I'm going to find your stepmother and we'll wonder the halls while carrying on a loud conversation about how sick you've been in the mornings lately. What sounds like a good date for an emergency wedding? How about the nineteenth? What is that, twelve days from now? We'll start planning first thing tomorrow, after I confront you both for all to hear. Oh, and if you two could let someone catch you in the act, that would be great."

Not bothering to push in his chair, he cut around the corner of the desk and made a mad dash for the door. It shut behind him with an energetic thud!.

Beside her, Lucien sank back into the couch cushions. "Vera, I think we broke his brain."

Oh, probably. And yet, for the life of her, she couldn't stop smiling. "At least he didn't say 'no'."

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