In Which Raia Inspires an Unwanted Thought

April 17, 1178

Leara could not have picked a better time to show up. For all Raia loved her sister and for all Vera was normally good about avoiding fuss over all things girly, she had to concede that if a young woman ever had an excuse for that sort of excessive giddiness, an upcoming wedding wasn't the most unreasonable. She'd been willing to help with the wedding dress, but that was hardly the same as actively wanting to do so; the interruption had been more than welcome. "Oh, thank God."

Her friend snickered. "Fingers all stitched out?"

Raia held up her hand and examined the finger she'd pricked about ten minutes prior. She could still see the hole if she squinted. "You'd think all that whittling would have helped, but it's a different technique entirely."

"Speaking of which, how's the toy-making going anyway?"

"Wonderfully, thank you very much," she chirped as she sat down on the empty side of the couch. "I hope little Celina liked the horses I made her."

"They're her favorites--and everyone else's, for that matter. Even Ricky's willing to play with her as long as he can be the horses."

"Glad to hear it, because there's a set of soldiers in the works for his birthday." Raia sighed--a little light-headed, maybe even a little dreamy. It was so nice, having a focus! Thank God the kids were now of an age to occupy themselves; as much as she loved them, she'd been itching for something that was just hers. She didn't know what had possessed Rifden to give someone like Falidor a wood carving knife, but with everything it had given her she hardly cared to question. "And speaking of birthdays... should I be working on something special for next winter? A little birdie told me you'd gone off the herbs."

Leara blushed. Raia wasn't sure why she kept telling Rona all these things when they all ended up in Riona's big mouth, but from the looks of that smile it might not have been much of a secret. "We've been trying for another one, yes. I've had a few courses since we started, but if you must know..." The pink tint of her face went almost red. "...the last one was a little while ago."

"Oh?" Raia felt her brow peak in interest. "And just how little of a while ago was this?"

"Not long enough to know for sure, but Rona's expecting another call from Arydath tomorrow, and I was going to visit her again anyway." Leara's eyes closed. Any remaining red drained from her cheeks, leaving them just as pale as the rest of her. "Poor girl. I wouldn't have thought it possible to lose so much weight during a pregnancy."

Raia shuddered. She'd only seen Rona once or twice since they'd made the announcement, but Riona said she was a wreck and Jadin said the same of Ashe. But if nothing else, Rona was much like her mother in the sense that she was tougher than she seemed. "With any luck the nausea will stop soon. That's bound to help at least a little, I would think."

"Arydath said something to that effect. Still a little worrisome, though." Raia nodded in agreement. Did Leara perhaps blame herself in part, not putting a stop to that tournament back in the summer? She'd seen Lorn about a week before and he'd seemed a little guilty. Not that Raia thought either of them--or anyone, really--had any reason to feel so. There was practically a guarantee that a parasite would do at least some damage, even if said parasite was of the offspring variety. "Anyway, this is now probably the worst possible time to ask, but when are you thinking about starting on your next?"

Raia blinked. Had she done something to bring on that question? Some unconscious gesture or unchecked look? She certainly hadn't meant to inspire such thoughts. "Actually, I... haven't really though about that just yet."

"Oh." She sounded almost... disappointed? Raia frowned. She might have expected that from Falidor, or maybe even Alina or Sev, but Leara? "Sorry, I just... well, Ricky plays so well with both of your kids, but they're all a little older than Celina, and I was kind of hoping that maybe my third would have a little playmate in yours."

"Oh." Well, that wasn't completely irrational. Still... "I don't know. I mean, I'd like to have another one eventually, but..." Raia trailed off. For all Leara meant well, she was a princess and a duchess and while she was still a wife and mother she did have other duties with which to occupy herself. Stewards' wives didn't always have that luxury--even if they were also lords' daughters.

But for all she probably wouldn't get it, Leara didn't look quite satisfied. Raia picked at one of her nails and grimaced. "I finally have time for myself again, you know? I mean, the kids are still a lot of work, but there's a world of difference between six-year-olds and newborns. My father's giving me more jury spots and I've been thinking of taking commissions on my toys and it's just kind of nice not to have to drop everything to go nurse or change a diaper or what have you."

Leara pursed her lips. She wasn't about to protest. Seemed that Raia hadn't given her friend the credit she deserved. "I see."

"Thank you." Raia blew a strand of her out of her face and slouched into the cushions. She'd thought she'd had it all mapped out in her head, but now that she'd been asked it was difficult to find the words. "Like I said, I'll probably want another one at some point, but I just don't know if now is the right time. I've finally got other things happening for me and I don't know if I can handle a baby on top of all that."

"I understand." Leara turned her eyes to the empty hearth, a slight smile tugging at her lips. Raia wasn't quite sure if it was heartfelt, but it was a nice gesture regardless. "For what it's worth, though... if anyone can do it all, it's you."

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