July 30, 2015

In Which Eldona Introduces the Simple Concept

July 21, 1193

"So..." Eldona let herself trail off, but only out of fear she'd otherwise stop abruptly. Had she thought Searle had any other friends, she would have left the comforting to someone else. She'd grown up as the daughter of quite possibly the sweetest, wisest, most loving mother on the planet. She had no idea what to say about a mother who was... not. "I'm sorry."

Searle kicked at the base of the bench. "I was a terrible son."

Eldona bit the inside of her cheek. It wasn't unnatural to think one ought to have been better to the dead--she'd had her moments of regret with both her father and sister in recent months--but from all accounts, Searle's mother had been a monster. "Searle--"

"No. I was. She hated me. She wouldn't have hated me if I wasn't terrible."

Eldona blinked. There could have been logic in the sentence, but there was little logic in an adult's hatred of a child. "But what could you have done that was so terrible?"

He shrugged. "I don't remember. I forget things sometimes."

That didn't surprise her. But he was a gentle, passive soul--almost incapable of anything truly terrible. "I don't think anything you could have done justified her treatment of you."

"She didn't want me."

"Then she ought to have given you to people who wanted to be your parents, or to have eliminated you before you were sentient. If she wasn't allowed to, then that's a pity--but no one deserves a parent's abuse, Searle."

It seemed such a simple concept.

And yet, he failed to grasp it. "But I did."



Van said...

All of the filler!

Orilon said...

*sigh* Unfortunately, the mental scars from abuse last long after the act, and
I doubt there is someone qualified for Searle to go to for proper therapy to get over the constant abuse from his mother.

She raises an interesting question, why didn't his mother have someone else adopt him since she hated him so much? (It was all her problem, not his.)

Van said...

I kept thinking about a friend of mine while I was trying to get into Searle's head. No matter what happens, no matter how little she had to do with it, no matter how obviously out of her control it was... she always thinks it's her fault and that she's a terrible person, which is just the furthest thing from the truth. :(

Orrick Wythleit has a clinic set up in Ravenhold; it's nothing compared to today's options, but it's better than nothing. Searle could look into an appointment there (or, more likely, Eldona could look into it for him).

It is a good question. Really, I just think his mother cared so little about him and everyone around her that she just couldn't be bothered to be properly rid of him. That, or she had some perverse notion of "God stuck me with this devil spawn for a reason, perhaps it's to punish him for his mere existence". :S