January 1, 1188
"Xee?"Xeta cursed under her breath. She hadn't wanted to wake Jadin. Worse, she hadn't wanted to leave him awake, wondering where she could have been and what was taking her so long. He'd been asleep when she left, peaceful as he could have been despite the labored breathing. If he'd woken while she was gone...
Well, maybe it was a little selfish, not wanting to be caught. But she didn't want to hurt him--certainly not now.
Or would a lie hurt more?
She'd be honest with him. He had, after all, always been honest with her. "I did something stupid."
"Oh?"
"I..." It was chilly enough without the air between them. She slipped beneath the covers, shivering, hoping he could forgive her. "I tried to seduce Camaline.""Really?" She caught a weak grin on his face as she turned her head. "Damn, Xeta. You know it hurts when I get an erection."
She'd take it. It was close enough to understanding, sort of. At least it wasn't hurt. "I'm serious, Jadin. It was a bad idea, and it was a good thing she said no. She said it would be taking advantage, and I think she was right." Though they may have differed on who would have been taking advantage. Camaline thought Xeta was distraught and vulnerable, and maybe she was right. Didn't change the fact that Xeta hadn't had sex since September and had suspected for a while that Camaline had feelings for her.
"Xee...""I couldn't do that to you, though. I love you, Jadin." She reached across the mattress for his cold, shaking hand. "I couldn't have lived with myself if I did that, even if we can't make love any more."
"I love you too, Xeta." He let go of her fingers and instead threaded his hand beneath her neck, nudging her shoulder closer despite his quaking wrist. "You're the best."
"No, you are." And maybe Camaline was a close second. Xeta would apologize to her later.
But for now, she'd just try to enjoy the first sleep of the year with her husband.NEXT CHAPTER:
5 comments:
*yawn*
Searle's face in the preview reminded me of Raia's observation. Jadin is cracking jokes for Xeta, and Searle and all his good health looks like he's completely out of it.
Xeta seems like this incident might have helped her despite everything that is wrong and awkward about it. If you didn't know about Jadin's health, there was nothing that read as off about it. I hope they can keep enjoying whatever time Jadin has left. :(
It is sad, the difference between the two brothers here. :(
If nothing else, Xeta can take the incident as an opportunity for introspection. What happened and didn't happen gave her a lot to think about, and I think she did realize that priority number one is enjoying the time she has left with Jadin to the best of their abilities. Poor both of them, though. :(
How did it whiz past both of their heads that Jadin ended up in this predicament by screwing people outside of his relationship? I'm surprised that Xeta can feel guilty about almost cheating when Jadin is Jadin and has managed to get himself killed through being Jadin. Actually, the guilt isn't surprising. It's that she feels guilty and then doesn't think about whether Jadin should feel guilty, particularly now that he is headed off to that great brothel in the sky. It wasn't great that she tried to play on Camaline's emotions, but Xeta has bigger fish to fry. Her husband is ill, likely dying and he could have potentially gotten her sick. He could have orphaned their children all because he just had to chase some sickly prostitutes. I don't know why she isn't angry, really. With Jadin, I mean. Not with herself. She can apologize to Camaline, and that would fix that situation. Jadin, on the other hand, can't un-die.
I think they both know exactly how this happened--Jadin especially. I guess Xeta figures there's not enough time to be angry.
It is a shame that she feels so guilty herself, though, all things considered. She did hurt Camaline, but you're right, she can fix that.
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