In Which Ashe Has a Truth to Be Heard

March 3, 1178

"You're home!"

Ashe hardly had time to shut the door behind him before Rona had sprung from the bed and launched herself into his arms, her own tight behind his neck. He wasn't sure what to make of it. Her cold spells had ceased since the wedding and she'd been consistently cordial--maybe even affectionate--but never before had she greeted him with such unrestrained enthusiasm. As easy as it would be, he was probably better off not getting used to it. "Yes, I'm home--though I didn't expect you to be. Weren't you going to stay another few nights at Riona's?"

She shook her head, golden curls brushing against his neck. "I missed you."

"Missed me? I paid you a visit yesterday." She hugged him more tightly. Not minding at all, he turned his head to kiss her hair. "I know what you mean, though. I missed you too. I take it the birth was this morning?"

Rona nodded. "Another little girl. Give it fifteen years and Isidro's hall will be lined with the heads of all their suitors. Hopefully our boys have better sense than to try."

"Umm... all right?"

Children. They'd talked about them once, sort of. She'd caught him off-guard and his only response was that he 'didn't not want them'. He'd spent that night on the couch, trying and failing to get comfortable, wondering whether or not he should feed her some cock-and-bull story about an accident. Given the circumstances, who knew if he was even capable of fathering children? Not that all or even most couples conceived so early in their marriages, but if it got to the point when Rona started to worry, she deserved to know it was almost certainly not a problem with her.

"Guess what?" She pressed a quick kiss to the base of his jaw and bounced out of his hold, her hands still resting on his shoulders.

"What?"

"That's not a guess, silly." She tossed back her hair, her pretty laugh echoing throughout the room. He couldn't remember ever seeing her so giddy, not even back in the carefree pre-Lonriad pre-tournament pre-Ashe years. "But that's all right, because that means I get to tell you. Just before she left Riona's, Arydath gave me a wink--and she said she'd see me in November!"

Ashe blinked. November counted back to February and it had been February mere days ago. Rona's family were among the many who swore by the midwife's eerily accurate predictions, but guessing the sex before a labor was one thing; declaring a pregnancy before the supposed mother could even know was quite another. Had Arydath just been toying with her? It was hardly a harmless joke.

"Uh... have you even missed a course yet?"

"Not yet, but I've been a little queasy--besides, Arydath told my mother about my last three siblings before she'd even suspected them and clearly she was right all three times."

But for all the hype, surely she was wrong on occasion? "I just don't want you to get your hopes up. It's still early."

"I know--but I have a good feeling about this."

He knew that smile. Her mind was made up and there was no point in arguing with her. He'd just have to hope that she wouldn't be disappointed. "You and your good feelings."

"Mm-hmm." Eyes alight as ever, she took to twirling a lock of his hair. "Ashe?"

"Mmm?"

"If it's a girl, could we name her Aspen?"

His horror must have hit her before he'd had a chance to fully register, as she'd let her hands drop and taken a step back. Those once-sparkling eyes were hurt, alarmed even, and all he could do was gawk wordlessly until he could come up with something halfway believable. "Er... we both have mothers, don't we?"

Rona frowned. "I guess... but my mother already has a granddaughter named Celina, and she wouldn't mind waiting for our second or third daughter. What was your mother's name?"

"Yvanette."

...shit.

One blond brow rose and folded into a sharp hook. "Wasn't that your aunt's name? Aspen's mother?"

Why did he have to keep blurting these things out? As if it wasn't a miracle that she believed the 'shared' birthdays to be a coincidence. "No... no, Yvanette was definitely my mother. Not Aspen's."

"What was your aunt's name, then?"

...SHIT.

"I... can't remember." She was staring at him like she thought he was an idiot, but at least that was better than a liar. "But it wasn't Yvanette. That would be ridiculous."

He grimaced, expecting her to inquire further but she didn't. Not about that, at least. "Still. Why not Aspen? Don't you like that name?"

He didn't want to say it, but it might be the only out he got. "Honestly? Not really, no."

"Oh."

Any light that might have lingered in her eye had been snuffed like last night's candles. Dear God, what had he done? He'd come home to this budding flower of a girl and he'd crushed her to a mess of wrinkled petals. He never would have guessed the name meant that much to her. "Rona--"

"No. It's all right." She took a few steps back and let herself sink to the edge of the bed. She hadn't looked so worn and resigned since Aspen had been fired. "Yvanette's a nice name."

But she sounded so defeated. He didn't know just how sick she'd been, but he was a little nauseous himself as he made his way around the bed and sat down on the other side. "Rona, if you really--"

"No. You wouldn't make me go along with a name if I said I didn't like it." She swung her legs up onto the bed and collapsed against her slanted pillow. "I just always thought it sounded pretty."

A second earlier and he might have fallen off the bed in sheer shock. Seventeen years of using that name and not once had anyone ever called it 'pretty'. "You did?"

She nodded as he settled beside her. "Fitting, really. She's the prettiest girl I've ever met."

"You're serious?" Inside his chest, his heart started to flutter. No, that wasn't entirely correct. Aspen's heart fluttered.

Another nod. "She has this beautiful red hair and I always wanted to play with it. And don't get me started on her eyes." She sighed, her own eyes hazing over again as she slipped back out of this world and into the last. "She doesn't think she's pretty, but she's wrong. She's so beautiful, and not just on the outside. And I should have told her that but I didn't and now she's gone forever and I'll never see her again."

A tear welled in the corner of her eye, but she blinked it back before he could wipe it away. Whoever's fluttering heart it was, it seized and dropped to the pit of his stomach. "Don't say that."

"That's what Aspen would have said. She also said she'd visit, but that was over a year ago." She picked at her laces. They might as well have been his heartstrings. "Do you think she forgot about me?"

"No."

He'd never said a truer thing but he knew she'd never believe him. There was so much he wanted to tell her and so much she'd never believe. Or if she did believe it, any chance of her ever loving him would have vanished with Aspen's ghost. God, how he wished it was otherwise. She deserved to know.

I didn't forget about you. I'm right here, Rona. I'm always right here.

"No one could forget about you."

He doubted she had much faith in that, but if nothing else she did not protest--just stared up at the ceiling as he stared at her, minutes upon minutes passing in silence before she spoke again. "Ashe?" He nodded. She didn't look but she must have known all the same. "Do you think she'll be pretty?"

"Who?"

Eyes his way at last, her hand ran downward along the curve of her stomach. "Our baby."

He was so tired of lying to her, or her not believing him when he didn't. He loved it when he had a truth she would let herself hear. "She wouldn't be yours if she wasn't."

NEXT CHAPTER: