In Which Cord Starts Somewhere

October 16, 1176

It was a little early to be turning in, but this had been the longest day of Cord's life and he wished it would just end already. His work was done and done again and every attempt to talk to Riala had been met with a silencing glare or her storming out of the room. Dinner had been an icy affair; they'd sat at opposite ends of the table, never saying a word, not even locking eyes. He'd tried a few times, but every time he'd looked up she'd been looking down, nudging her food with her fork but never eating it, finally leaving her plate on the floor for the dog and retiring before the sun had begun to set.

He wasn't sure if she was asleep. He thought he could see her eyes flickering, but it might have been wishful thinking. Knowing his luck, she'd sleep through the night while he spent most of it envying her that, and then he'd wake in an empty bed and this day would stretch to the next. Lord only knew how long that could go on.

How could he have been so stupid? He'd gotten her into this mess. She'd had even less say in the matter than he had, yet she'd never complained, not once. She'd tried to make the best of it and in a matter of minutes he'd ripped those efforts to shreds. And why? Some comments from his idiot drinking buddies? Men who had laughed at his misfortunes while Riala strained to hold him together?

And this was how he repaid her. He'd be lucky if she ever spoke to him again.

And yet, he doubted he could go on without hearing her voice. "Riala?"

She shrunk away beneath the blankets, folding into herself as if to disappear. Maybe he should have gone to the spare room. He hoped she wouldn't get up and do that herself. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

She rolled onto her side and glanced over her shoulder, her eyes a glimpse of day in the middle of the night, a damp rawness to her face as if she'd been crying. Ah, who was he kidding? She had been. "I know you wouldn't do that."

Her lip quivered, but not to make way for any word. His guilt had been eating at him all day and now her silence was a death blow. "Riala? Riala, please say something. Anything..."

Butterfly lashes fluttered over the blue, but other than that she was still. He heard a swallowed sob lodge itself in her throat as her hesitant mouth eased open. "I'm pregnant."

Cord edged a little closer and draped his arm over her waist. It wasn't much--just a gesture, just an action, maybe just a bit of selfishness on his part, a need to feel the firmness of his child within her--but it was a start. He had a lot of atoning to do and he had to start somewhere.

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