In Which Searle Ponders the Benefits of Simplicity

January 14, 1171

Jadin took another swig from the nearly-drained wine bottle and dropped it, letting it fall onto its side as it hit the floor. "You know who's pretty? Aldara."

God, how much wine had he had? Searle didn't think they'd been sitting up in the wine cellar long enough for that kind of nonsense. "Jadin, she's our stepsister."

"Doesn' make her any less pretty." Jadin slumped back against the wall, the grin on his face wide and stupid even for him. "Do you think she's pretty?"

Searle sighed. A drunk Jadin was an unreasonable Jadin. "Fine, she's pretty. Are you happy now?"

"No, 'cause she's my stepsister." He reached to the floor and fumbled around for the bottle; finding it empty, he leaned over to reach for the other one he'd set aside earlier and took a drink. "So, wha's this I hear about you and wha's-her-face? The kitchen girl with the big tits."

"Alise?" How did Jadin know about that?

His brother put the wine down and nodded. "Riona said you fucked her."

And how did Riona know about that? "What?"

"Oh, don' worry, she's caught me fucking girls too," Jadin tried to assure him--as if Searle had needed to hear that. "She likes peeking through keyholes. Anyway, how was this one? I think I fucked her once, but I can't remember."

How the hell did Xeta put up with Jadin? How did Lorn put up with him? And Raia, Ietrin, Leara, Jeda, Sp--

No. It still hurt to think about Sparron; and yet now that he had started, he wasn't sure how to stop. Maybe it was best to just focus on his brother after all. "You're drunk."

Jadin widened his eyes and stared up at him, his mouth contorting into an odd downward twist as he attempted what Searle guessed was a sad puppy look. "Ser-ul, tell me how she wuh-uz! Please?"

"All right, she was good!" Dear Lord, when was their father going to be home? He didn't want to spend the whole night babysitting an inebriated Jadin. "Not the best I've ever had, but not the worst either. Are you happy now?"

"I dunno... are you?"

That had been a strange question to ask. "Uh... sure?"

"I mean, after that other girl hurt you." Oh--so Jadin knew about that. Searle vaguely wondered what his brother might have thought if he found out it hadn't been a girl at all; then again, he supposed he was better off not knowing. "I don' wanna see my baby brother sad."

Damn. He was looking up at him with that same pathetic expression, those pleading eyes and that threatening whimper. Never again would Jadin be allowed near wine under Searle's watch. "Jadin, look... have you ever wanted something for a long time? Something you knew you couldn't have, but would have traded anything--everything--just for a chance to maybe have it? Have you ever wanted anything like that?"

Almost instantly, Jadin's mask of longing morphed into an all-consuming expression of nausea-worthy giddiness. Just like that, he'd gone from one extreme to the other; it was almost enough to make Searle want to swear off drinking forever. "Yes! Yes, I do want something like that!"

Searle raised an eyebrow. Of all the people he thought might have understood at all, Jadin had never even occurred to him--and, so he'd thought, for good reason. "Really? What do you want?"

"What do I want?" He took another sip from the bottle, then pursed his lips and began to whistle; if he'd had any intention of answering, it seemed to have left him.

"Jadin?" When the hell would their father be home? "Jadin, what do you want more than anything else in the world? If you could have one thing, or do one thing, or be one thing... what would it be?"

Jadin took a minute or so to consider, his face as blank and stupid as any barnyard animal's. Then--

"I wanna fuck Xeta."

Well, that figured. Resigned, Searle rolled his eyes and sunk to his knees, picking up his own bottle and taking a swig. Shuddering as the rough liquid singed the lining of this throat, he put to the side and grimaced. "God, it must be nice to be as simple as you."

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