March 13, 1171
"Spending the night at a friend's again, I see." Falidor rolled onto his side as Raia strode into the room and settled herself beside him. "Not that I don't want to see you, but aren't you worried about getting caught? Your father sees Leara's father pretty much every day, you know.""Yes, but they don't talk any more than they have to." She pulled the blanket over herself and squirmed against the mattress; it wasn't any more or less comfortable than her bed at home, but a scratchy old pile of hay with Falidor on it was better than a mountain of silks and pillows without. "Besides, I am spending the night at a friend's--at least, I might as well be." She'd made a point to sound bitter, but Falidor responded only with a dismissive sniff.
Ridiculous. Raia knew for a fact that Falidor had been thinking about it for just as long as she had--maybe even longer--but he'd drawn his lines and was refusing to budge. In some ways, she supposed she had to give him credit for his resolve, but she had trouble understanding the need for all this self-denial. It wasn't as if anyone would find out, or word would get back to her father; so long as they kept their wits about them, what harm could it do? If worse came to worse, she knew that her grandmother could help with that sort of thing.
Frowning, she slid her hand under her pillow and edged toward him. "Leara's getting married in the fall."He grunted; he wasn't always talkative in bed, but she knew that if he'd really wanted to fall asleep, he would have done so. "The whole kingdom knows that by now."
"Probably." Raia fiddled with the laces of her dress and pouted. "I kind of wanted to beat her, though."
He turned his head and stared in disbelief. "To the alter?"
"No--the other thing."
As she could have predicted, Falidor sighed. "Raia, we talked about this--if your father finds out about any of this, we'll both be in enough trouble without doing that."
She rolled her eyes--men! Jadin and Searle fornicated like rabbits and her father held nothing against them or their partners; if she'd been a boy, and Falidor had been some servant girl, he would have been all over her and no one would have given a damn. Raia liked to think that her father was above such irrational double-standards, and some wary glances and misplaced comments had caused her to suspect that he might have known more than he let on anyway--but in the end, she guessed she couldn't blame Falidor for not wanting to test that theory. "Fine."
"Aw, don't take it the wrong way." He reached around and took hold of her hand, his fingers slipping between hers and squeezing into a firm grasp; though his wedding band was long gone, its indent could still be felt. "Just... hold on until the new year, all right? Then I'll be officially divorced and I can go talk to your father--err, providing that Aldhein and Florian are willing to restrain him, of course."Unassured, Raia pulled herself nearer and rested her head against his shoulder; considering how hairy he was in the front, she was surprised at how smooth his skin was at the back. "That's so far off, though."
"I know, but think of it this way; if you want to change your mind, you can do that and no one will be any wiser."
She sniffed. "You think I don't know what I want."
"No--you know what you want, but you don't have the patience to wait for it." Without warning, he released her hand and drew at back to his chest; her palm felt empty and somehow incomplete. "Who knows? Maybe some available young man will come along before then and sweep you off your feet. Maybe you'll have a whirlwind dream of a romance and show up at Leara's wedding with a husband and swelling stomach--none of this waiting around for a worthless old wreck like me."
Idiot! Shaking her head, Raia wrapped her arms around his torso and strained herself to kiss his stubbly cheek. "Don't be stupid; like you said, I know what I want."NEXT CHAPTER:
9 comments:
Raia is most definitely her father's daughter *lol* and the title is soooo very apt! Good for her.
She is right about the double standards set for her, but I notice she never considered what her mother would think were she still alive. I can't imagine she would be any more understanding than Severin if Raia's current activities were to be discovered.
Falidor must be a strong man indeed (or have an incredibly strong sense of self-preservation) to resist such a woman.
While I very much understand Raia's frustration, I'm with Florian here. Better to wait until they can be with each other openly. It's not like they're reduced to wishing and hoping and praying that Ailede will drop dead soon, either -- the waiting has a definite end date.
And besides, even if somebody can talk Severin out of holding Raia to that ridiculous double standard, the REST of their society will hold Raia to it. Hell, she might even get blamed for the breakup of Falidor and Ailede's marriage! (Yes, it's insane, but nobody said busybody gossips were sane.) Does Raia really want to be called a homewrecker by everybody ... especially considering that it would have been Ailede's home she "wrecked"?
... Of course, the irony is, if anybody finds out that Raia's been spending the night at Falidor, it won't matter that they haven't actually slept together, because everyone will assume they have.
Agree with morgaine2005. They may as well do what they want. She's spending the night with the man; as far as everyone's concerned, it's the same thing as having sex with him. Of course, there's a chance they won't be caught, but where's the drama in that LOL!
She is certainly a determined young woman, and she will be good for Falidor if it works out.
*goggle eyes* Did I seriously say Florian up there? Good Lord. I need to get my head examined. Or more sleep.
Or both.
Illandrya: I wonder what Alina might have thought of all this. She probably would have been initially more shocked about it than Severin--she did have a more conservative upbringing than he did--but after that wore off, I don't know.
I think you hit the nail on the head with the self-preservation theory :P
Morgaine: Raia and Florian? That's too much awesome for one affair :P
I'm not sure what Severin thinks of the whole double-standard at this point. He seemed pretty open-minded about a woman's right to do as she pleases here, but he might not be so on-board with the idea of his own daughter sleeping with the married steward.
As for Raia, I'm not sure she cares what anyone says about her. Plus Ailede has a bad reputation anyway, so if anything, the fact that it's her home being wrecked might ease the accusations--not to see that the accusations wouldn't be there, though :(
Beth: Yeah, they probably could have just gone for it. Really, it only could have made a difference if he knocked her up, but like she said, she could go to her grandma in the event of that happening.
She's definitely good for him--firm, determined, but not bitchy. He needs someone like that.
Gotta love Raia. She's so honest and open it's refreshing. Especially when it comes to the double standard. I think on top of society's double standard, there is definitely an extra one specifically for daughters. A man like Severin doesn't want his daughter to end up with a man like himself (which seems to translate to "any man" after a while), and he usually wants to keep his daughter young and innocent forever, lol.
Of course this doesn't mean Severin won't surprise us. I really can't wait to hear his reaction when it comes time.
Ooh Raia. Sometimes she's so like her father.
She definitely got more than her looks from her dad, that's for sure :P
I think you're right about the double-standard (triple-standard?). Even today, I don't think any father likes to think of his daughter as being sexually active (and let's face it, it would be kind of creepy if he did)--either they're in passive denial or they're actively pushing for the preservation of the innocence.
I haven't quite decided how Severin will react when he finds out about this. That might be one of those things I don't know for sure until I take the shots--but who knows? Like Raia said, he might already have his suspicions.
Thanks Lunar :)
Raia is going to have to make a new friend before Leara gets married if she wants to maintain this course of midnight visitation action. :p
Heheheh :P
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