August 16, 1173
"All right, out with it." Lettie waited until the first bout of laughter could be heard from the other room. She'd been told that the study was reasonably soundproof, but her uncle had promised to think up an amusing anecdote just in case. "What do you want me for?"Her cousin's fine features scrunched into an abstract jumble of confusion. Maybe she'd gotten ahead of herself--should have just eased into the conversation. But alas, that just wasn't her style. "Sorry?" he choked after a few stunned, silent seconds. "You're the one who dragged me in here..."
"I meant the marriage, stupid." Searle's brows arched, a frown tugging at his lips. Christ, didn't the kid know some friendly teasing if it bit him in the ass? "Look, your father already told me about..."
She fell silent as his face stretched into a strained neutrality. He was a handsome boy, but the light's sharp angle cast a harsh glaze over his gentle exterior. The mask was so emotionless that she suspected he could burst into tears any minute. She would have to watch her tongue around him. He was sensitive; he needed her to be sensitive too."Sorry. He just didn't want me to go in uninformed, you know? If it makes you feel any better, I'm the only person he's told--and he wouldn't have told me if he didn't know I'd be all right with it."
"I know." He turned away, a wounded look in his eye as though it was painful to look at her. The urge to give him a hug welled within her, but he was still a stranger and she wasn't sure if he'd be comfortable with an embrace from her; all the same, he did look like he needed one. "I'm sorry. It's funny, really. I've wanted to talk about this for a long time, but now that I finally can, I just...""Don't know what to say?"
He nodded. "Exactly."
She didn't think she'd ever seen anyone so lonely. Sighing, Lettie stepped forward and reached for Searle's hand. It was both warm and cold at the same time, his pulse so strong that she might have mistaken it for her own. "Well, we'll talk about it when you find the words, all right? For now, let's just start with what you want from me."
The throbbing of his blood dulled as his hand froze. She tried to revive it by squeezing, but it was to no avail. He was gone again. "What do you mean?"
"Well... what do you expect me to do for you?" It wasn't that difficult of a question, was it? Then again, maybe Searle was so used to difficult questions that the easy ones caught him off-guard. "Do you just want someone on your arm in public, or do you just want some kids, or...?"
"What?" He jerked his hand out of her grasp and shook his head, chuckling to himself as if he thought her absurd. At least he was smiling now. "No! It's nothing like that. I don't want that kind of marriage.""Then what do you want?" Her cousin seemed so overwhelmed by his newfound laughter that he wasn't even trying to answer her. Maybe she would have to help him out. "Look, I don't need romance or anything like that if you don't want--"
"But I do want romance."Lettie blinked. She certainly hadn't been expecting that. "Sorry?"
"You heard." Searle reached into the pouch on his belt and fished out a small object, a glint bouncing off of it in the light of the room. "I'm in love with someone who refuses to acknowledge that there's anything between us, and I sometimes worry that I always will be. It would be nice to feel something for someone who's willing to feel something back."
So he wanted to transfer all of his feelings onto her. Something in her secret heart burst. It wasn't right that he should want something like that. People didn't get to choose who they loved, but why was it that nobody could see that? And why was it that those who did never said a damned thing about it? "Don't you think he might just be scared?"
His fist clenching around the shiny piece, Searle bowed his head. "I'm scared. You'd need a whole new word for him." He pressed his hand to hers and released his grip on the object; a round, thin piece of metal tumbled to her palm. "I just want somebody to love. Will you let me love you?"
Of all the silly things to say. Lettie slipped the ring into the bodice of her dress and smiled up at him. He was young and naive and didn't have a clue what he was saying. In a twisted sort of way, it was almost adorable. "You can try. Don't force yourself, though.""It's cute that you think I'll have to."
That was an even sillier thing to say. She threw her sister's advice to the wind and snorted. "All right, now you're just being a kiss-ass."
A wicked twinkle sparked in his eye. Maybe he could take the occasional bit of teasing after all. "About a thousand dirty jokes just popped into my head right now."Lettie couldn't help it--she smirked. "And they're all fighting for your mouth?"
"And there's a thousand more."
Cackling, she tossed back her hair, the ring settling neatly between her breasts as the waves of pent-up laughter flowed throughout her core. "You know, kid--you're not bad.""Glad you think so." He was a pretty thing even in gloom, but his grin was nothing short of radiant. "You're not so bad either."
"Then I'm sure we'll get along just fine."NEXT CHAPTER:
21 comments:
All right, it's quarter to eleven at night. I don't think I can put off taking the garbage out much longer :(
Also, random bit of TMI but this is really bugging me. There is a weird-ass rash on my arm. I tried to distract myself from the itching by punching the ever-loving shit out of it, but that was probably a bad idea because there is now swelling as well. Sometimes I think my body hates me.
Although on a more positive note, my roommate asked me if I've lost weight, which really threw me for a loop because I've done absolutely nothing to shed pounds. Yaaaaay for teenage metabolism that's still hanging around at the ripe old age of twenty!
Have you tried putting some savlon (assuming it exists in Canada) on your rash? May not help permanently but temporarily it does wonders.
Onto the chapter
I've missed the last couple of updates and I'm not fully awake but I can't remember who Lettie is. I recognise Searle but Lettie is really starting to bug me.
And if I like her, then they can be together
Definitely have not heard of savlon specifically. We have other products that I assume are similar, but I don't have any in my apartment :(
But the good news is that the rash is gone. And I think I figured out where it came from, too. I have this plastic thing that I use as a makeshift table whenever I want to use my laptop while reclining on the bed, and it's shaped so that my arms sometimes rub up against it. I'm thinking that was it.
Still swollen, though :(
Lettie first showed up in the last post. She was first mentioned three posts ago. She's the girl Severin went out to find on Searle's request (a request which was given five posts ago and first suggested six posts ago). She's also Searle's first cousin, the daughter of one of Alina's sisters in Dovia. Her brother used to be Severin's squire.
In-teresting. Very interesting.
I think these two could be rather cute together ... however, even though Lettie appears to be made of win, I'm still not at all convinced that Searle running off and getting married is the right or smart thing to do. And Lord only knows how Sparron is going to react.
Oh, Sparron will know of this :S
And he and Searle are definitely not over. Not by a longshot. They've just been throne a wrench, and it's about to hit Sparron squarely on the forehead :(
I think Searle thinks that things will just magically get better if he gets married. He figures he can just start mooning over his wife and forget about Sparron, but we all know that isn't practical thinking.
If Lettie and Searle had met under different circumstances, I think that this would be an awesome pairing. Unfortunately, with things the way they are, I'm not sure this is such a good idea.
Oh, this is a trainwreck waiting to happen, for sure :S
I knew I'd love her. And I love Searle with her, I started getting used to broken hearted emo Searle, it's so good to see him laugh.
"You can try. Don't force yourself, though."
"It's cute that you think I'll have to."
Idk why but I love that line. I can just picture him chuckle to himself as he says it!
Also: I had about 2 thousand dirty jokes in my head when she called hima kiss-ass! lol
It's definitely good to Searle laughing again. I like them together too, but unfortunately the circumstances are rather tough :(
The phrase "kiss-ass" just sort of invites dirty jokes, doesn't it? :P
Thanks Chene :)
Ah that's why I hadn't heard of her.
I really should read every update. This is what coursework does to me AAAH *pulls out hair*
On the bright side. Yay the rash is gone :bunny:
Yikes! I hope your schoolwork starts to ease up soon :S
Yep, rash is gone. Now it's just swollen :(
Oh! I am glad that Lettie is such a good reader of people. She doesn't mince words but she is conscious of what other people might be thinking/feeling, which is excellent in dealing with someone as sensitive as Searle is. Gosh, poor Searle. It's so sad when he is sad!
She does seem to be a good balance of bluntness and empathy. Even if they don't end up falling in love, she'll be good for him as a friend and confidante.
Seeing Searle sad sucks :(
(Such sibilance.)
Searle sells seashells by the sea shore?
So some seem to say :P
I already love Lettie. (Besides, Lettie has to be one of my secret favorite names. Any Letties I've known have all been sweet and interesting people.)
Bluntness and empathy, yeah that's it exactly.
She is an interesting combination :)
I don't think I've ever known anyone named Lettie. I wonder what that would be short for nowadays? It's probably something very obvious that I just can't think of for some reason.
I love Lettie. She seems capable of a great deal of love, though, and if she doesn't get it from Searle, it might make her miserable in the long run.
Sparron is going to have a fit. A quiet, a SILENT fit, but a fit. Searle is not supposed to like anybody but him.
She does seem to have a lot of love in her... which unfortunately tends to be the downfall of a lot of characters in this story. She seems scrappy, though.
Sparron didn't react well when Searle told him about his wife-finding plans, so I imagine his jealous will only strengthen once he has a face to put the name to :(
Usually Leticia or some variation of that.
Ah, okay.
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