In Which Casimiro Earns No Complaint

January 6, 1181

"Mother!" Casimiro hoped that the theatricality of his voice wasn't as evident as he feared. It wasn't as if he wasn't happy to see her--at least, so he told himself--but her letter had only preceded her by a couple days and preparation for her impeccable standards couldn't have been met in less than a month. And that was assuming that she had in fact already met all of the hosting parties, and no one was under any implied obligation to impress her. "You certainly made good time."

"What can I say? After I sent that courier on his way, I couldn't bear to postpone my departure any longer. Not when my little baby finally made it down the aisle--and with such an... interesting woman, no less." She rocked him from side by side, her arms tightening around his chest. It had been a while since he'd last required such discretion in a gasp for air. "So, when do I get to meet her? More importantly, is she pregnant yet?"

How had he known she would ask? "Um... not so far as I'm aware?"

"Oh." His mother's arms dropped. At least he could breathe freely now. "Well, don't put off remedying that. Really, seven of eleven children grown now, five wed and two betrothed, and only two living grandchildren to show for it! Lucky my idiot brother doesn't count girls, or he'd be ahead of me there--and with only the scar-faced half-breed around for production, at that! Er, no offense to your cousin, of course. Say, how is he doing?"

"Isidro? He's--"

"Yes, yes, of course he is. But here I am, blathering on about my idiot brother and his half-breed son when there's family in the room!" She peered over Casimiro's shoulder, finally bothering to acknowledge Ellona's presence. Her smile seemed indulgent, but to her credit, at least the disapproval was only obvious in one eye. "My apologies, dear. You're so skinny I didn't even see you there."

"Yes, I get that all the time." Casimiro could guess at her expression, but he turned around anyway. Sure enough--her forced politeness face, half-blinking eyes and twitching smile in all their glory. If he'd had his way, his wife and his mother would have never met. "Shall I have someone take your robe?"

"Thank you, but no. I daresay I'll need it all week in a drafty old place like this." Knowing Ellona, she was probably dying to ask why Casimiro's mother couldn't keep herself warm with her own stuffiness, but tactful restraint wasn't beyond her. By Casimiro's reckoning, she was winning the conversation; of course, his mother had a different way of keeping score. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come a little closer and let me take a look at you."

Ellona bit her lip and came forward, arms crossing as she drew to a halt. His mother paid her an obligatory sweep of the eyes, but if Casimiro knew her at all, her opinion had been fully formed the minute she'd received the news. "Hmm. You're prettier than your sister--not that that takes much, that poor plain darling.

"Ah, but what is beauty in the long run? She did give me a grandchild just recently, after all--though it was about damn time, what with the wedding being three years ago now. I'm sure you won't spend so much time dilly-dallying?"

Ellona's lashes fluttered shut and opened, the eyes behind them now fixed on Casimiro. "I take it you don't mean 'dilly-dallying' as a euphemism."

"Oh, I have no use for euphemisms. I call a spade a spade." The falsely cheery grin she'd been wearing fell to a smug smirk. "And I call lovemaking 'fucking'."

Ellona didn't so much as blink. Casimiro wondered if his mother called that a pass or a fail. "As we all might as well."

"Indeed. What a place the world could be if everyone could just get to the point! And no, dear, when I say 'point', I make no reference to a man's phallus." Casimiro cringed on both of their behalf. But his mother didn't notice, instead opting to eye Ellona's hips. "Honey, perhaps you ought to fetch me these children of yours. I'm sorry, but with your figure, I won't believe that they exist unless I see them for myself."

"Of course you won't." The same sarcasm oozed from her words, but it reeked of self-deprecation. He'd have to console her when he got the chance. His mother tended to bring that out in people. "They're probably off bothering the page, as usual. Wait here."

Ellona wasted no time in leaving, walking a little briskly for Casimiro's comfort--though a little slowly for what he'd imagined. She still seemed to be holding up better than Hilla had when his mother had paid Bernardo a visit.

"Well..." Now that Ellona was out of earshot, he supposed he might as well get to the decidedly non-phallic point. "What do you think?"

His mother shrugged as she brushed around him and made an oversized throne of one of the couches. "What do I think? I think she's freakishly tall. But Bernardo married a peasant and Augustin married a woman who took two years to get pregnant, so I suppose I can't complain."

Huh. That was... better than he'd expected. He sat down on the other couch and searched her for any other critiques hiding behind that more or less resigned expression. "So, her children don't bother you...?"

"Why should they? It's not as if she's a prostitute. If a prince wants you to fuck him, you fuck him good and hard." God. He doubted she was speaking from experience, but sure enough, the disturbing image turned up anyway. "Besides, they're proof that she's fertile. And they double my grandchildren count--even if they are bastards."

Casimiro grimaced. "Right."

"Though if my friends back home ask, she was a widow. Anyway, I take it you have a nice supper planned for tonight?"

Supper. Of course they'd picked the wrong month to renovate the dining hall. "Um, well... yes. But it'll be at Isidro's place. He, uh... he has the better cook."

"Hmm. Well, given that boy's inferiority in every other aspect of life, at least he has that." His mother shook her head, a sigh of half-assed pity breezing out of her mouth. "Be a dear and compliment the food every chance you get? I'd hate to see my only nephew miss out on one of his rare chances for a shred of self-esteem."

"Uh-huh."

Well, hopefully Ellona would be back with the children any minute. Someone had to ride over to Isidro's and tell him he was hosting a big supper that night.

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