The dry autumn grass crunched beneath Ashe's fingers as he dropped to the ground by the lone headstone just outside the rebuilt village. The rest of the bodies had been charred beyond recognition and were marked instead by trees, but one man had not burned away. Some said it had been the smoke. Others claimed exhaustion, overheating... one woman had sworn he'd been hit by falling debris. In any case, his face had been mostly unscathed, Ashe knew for the truth; his eyes had never left that face until Rona's father closed the casket, not even when the warm hand of a curly-haired little girl had squeezed his own."Hello, Daddy."
No reply. Not that it could have been expected, talking to a dead man and all. But who else was there? He couldn't bother Lonriad at this hour. He didn't even want Lonriad, not tonight. He just wanted his father.
But maybe it was for the best. Who knew if his father wanted him. "Um. Sorry I haven't been around much lately. I guess I didn't know how you'd feel about... you know. Everything." A wisp of cloud shot past the moon, obscuring the engraved name. Ashe shivered as he fought to hold back a tear. "I just really need my daddy right now."I'm so bad at this. Not that I was any good at the opposite, but at least then it was just me. Now there's Rona and the baby and I... I just want things to be good, you know? And I don't know how they can be if I can't be what the kid needs, or if I can't be what Rona wants me to be.
"She's laboring right now, you know. She woke up in pains, and Riona and Hilla rushed in and sent Electra to get Arydath and kicked me out. You're going to be a grandfather. Well... in theory. If they both get out all right. They will... right?"With Rona that sick, was that really a safe bet to make? Oh God. He hoped it was. "I don't know if you have any string-pulling authority up there, but if you can help them, I'd appreciate it. I know it's a lot to ask." He dared inch a little closer to the stone. No unnatural force made him feel intrusive as he might have expected, but who said that was because his father still loved him? All that remained of his father was a name on a rock.
He kept talking anyway. "She wanted me to be with her, you know--back when I was Aspen. When she had her first baby, she said she wanted me there. She wanted me there, and I let her friends throw me out like dinner scraps."They're not going to let me back in, but should I try anyway? I've seen a birth before. Aydelle wouldn't stop moaning, but it helped when the princess took her hand. Who's holding Rona's? Am I a coward for not at least trying?"
He lay back and counted a couple stars peeking through the nearly-bare canopy. Why did he have to ask if he already knew the answer? Maybe he was finally going mad like Lonriad had predicted. He was talking to a tombstone, after all. "Ah, who am I kidding? I'm a coward for just being out here tonight."A light breeze brushed against his face, a little warm for mid-November. Somehow, it felt like a goodnight kiss.
NEXT CHAPTER:
7 comments:
This was about two thirds finished last night, but I crashed before I could complete it. Sorry about that :S
Anyway. It's May now and I'm going to get the updates on the other stories up if I have to tear apart my brain to do it. I anticipate being out of the house for most of the day today, but if there is an update, it will be OU. And then Thursday is novel/online course day and Friday is Naroni again.
Hunh. Ashe shouldn't let not being there for the birth make him feel like a coward. Maybe Rona did want Aspen there but wanting Ashe there might be another kettle of fish (which might be a worse thought for Ashe to have). I wonder what he thinks of Aydelle and Camaline. I mean, is he jealous? They get to be together with no sex pond involvement whatsoever. I wish Sparron would go to the sex pond and ask for his hallucinations to stop. *ramble*
There's probably not much he can do about it anyway. I think the birthing room was a strictly male-free zone back in the day (well... unless the baby turned out to be a boy).
In regards to Aydelle and Camaline, good question. I guess it would depend on Ashe's definition of "together". Aydelle and Camaline are pretty under the radar; only a handful of people know about them and they're not intent on letting others in on it, even if they're not as defensive as Sparron is. Ashe might prefer being with Rona openly. At this point, I think he sees pros and cons to both of his identities and that scares him.
Heh. Might be something for Sparron to look into if the sex pond's pattern of magic days is ever revealed. But it's a bit of a monkey's paw, as Ashe has demonstrated. Sparron could wish for the voices to stop and end up dead :S
I'm so excited for Rona's baby :3 hopefully they both make it through okay and everything works out!
Come Friday night/Saturday morning, you'll know exactly how it turns out ;)
The first part of this chapter was really hard for me, i had to stop reading and walk around for a bit.
The second half was sad too but for entirely different reasons; I really feel for Ashe because there is no right thing to do and no way to 'fix' this situation. I can't predict how this will all work out but I hope this crushing limbo he's in ends soon.
Sorry, Chene. :S
As for Ashe, a crushing limbo is a good way of putting it. He has a lot to figure out and he's running out of time to do so. There's only so much he can do short of telling the truth.
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