In Which Anna Gets a Chance

January 11, 1179

It was no one's duty to keep "Ramona" entertained, but there was no need; the library did that more than well enough.

It was the only aspect of Anna's new identity that didn't have a secret double edge. She could sleep in the large, comfy bed and eat at the high table, but as satisfying as it was she still felt like a fraud. She enjoyed Adrius's company, but it was a guilty pleasure; he was not hers to enjoy and it wasn't fair that he couldn't know that. The books, though... the books were the same no matter who she was, only a lady's maid wouldn't have had the leisure time to enjoy them.

The random pick of the day was a book of folklore, old Carvalli tales paraphrased in child-sized short stories. The reading was easy, but fascinating in its own right, and certainly not without purpose. It was easy to picture an older Adrius with this book, reading a story aloud from the bedside of a child--his and Mona's child. It was a nearly perfect image.

Was she an awful person if it made her ill?

"...Ramona?"

Oh right. That was her.

In haste to make up for those lost seconds of non-response, she jerked her head to see Adrius loitering by one of the shelves. Her face was warmer than it ought to have been in midwinter. "How long have you been here?"

"Just a second." He sounded defensive. Had she given the impression that she was annoyed? She hadn't meant to... "I just got out of a meeting with some advisers. I came here to wind down. There... there's nothing that calms quite like a good book, is there?"

As if she could argue with that. "Not even close."

"May I...?" A little red, he gestured to the seat beside her. Anna swallowed. She didn't mind, but wasn't it crueler in the long run to be kind to him? Even if it was difficult not to be?

On the other hand, he was a king and she was his guest. She could hardly refuse him, even if she wanted to. "Of course."

Adrius stepped around the bench and sat down. Anna tried to keep one eye on him and another on the book; he seemed to be doing something similar. "That was my favorite book when I was little."

"Oh?"

He nodded. "Have you reached the story about the lost island?"

"Just finished it a couple minutes ago. I think it's my favorite so far."

"Mine too." The fabric of his tunic rustled as he inched a little closer. She knew she ought to push him away, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. "It's funny. Whenever I used to read that story, I always imagined the princess to look a little like you."

What? Anna shut the book and put it down, shifting her full attention to Adrius, more shocked at his own daring than she herself was. Or maybe shocked was the wrong word. "Uh..."

Adrius shied back to the arm of the bench, his eyes darting around the room but never landing on her for more than a second. "Sorry, I... I don't know. I have trouble talking to women I... I mean, I just kind of say whatever... ah, never mind. Sorry."

It was amazing, really. This hadn't been her idea at all, but she doubted Mona felt a fraction of the guilt. "It's all right. It's flattering, really."

"You don't sound flattered."

No, she didn't. I'm sorry, Adrius. "I am, believe me. I just have something on my mind."

He seemed to get that. It was nice to feel grateful. "We can talk about it if you like."

No, they couldn't. Anna shook her head. "I'm sorry. I hardly even know you, really."

"I know. I'd like to change that, though."

Honestly? "I'd like that too."

She shouldn't have said it, but who knew when she'd get another chance to tell the truth.

A tentative hand approached her shoulder and she encouraged it by shuffling nearer. It wasn't long before there was a black-clad arm around her and for all it was the right thing to do she didn't want to brush it aside. She hoped Mona would forgive her. More than that, she hoped Adrius would.

And more than anything, she hoped she would forgive herself.

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