In Which Camaline Defines the Inappropriate

December 9, 1186

The realization that she wanted a more monogamous relationship may have constituted personal growth, but the lack of casual sex left Camaline's bed cold and large and lonely. Her maid was a wild one who'd try anything once and would probably go to bed with her if she'd asked, but the idea felt perilously close to coercion. She had half a mind to take Sparron to bed. A woman may have preferred apples, but if she was starving, why turn down a perfectly good potato?

But who knew if Sparron would take pity on her, now that he finally seemed to be in a decent place with Searle.

And who knew if even someone she found attractive would do, now that she had her eye on someone. Of course, that someone had her own someone. And stupid as it may have been, Camaline cared about that first someone too much to risk jeopardizing things between her and that second someone, for all she doubted that second someone would mind if his wife had a fling with a woman. Perhaps that was all the more reason to keep away. She doubted she'd be much in the mood if Jadin of Veldora insisted on watching.

"Are you all right?"

Sparron. She hadn't even heard him come in. "As all right as I ever am, I suppose."

"I noticed that Xeta just left."

"Minding your own business isn't your strong suit, is it?" It was. But their relationship worked best without secrets. "She's wondering if she might chance trying for another baby. Her youngest will be five in April, after all. She misses having a little one in her arms."

"I don't think Jadin will object. He told me a while back that he wouldn't mind a red-haired baby girl to name for his mother." He sat down on the empty side of the bed and slung his legs atop it. She supposed she was grateful for the company. "That discussion couldn't have made you happy, though."

"No, but it's a fitting punishment for lusting after my married friend." She sighed. She couldn't imagine cutting Xeta out entirely--Xeta was too good a friend to dismiss merely for not being more--but it grew more difficult by the day, seeing her at work, the way she somehow gave their formless-by-design school robes a tantalizing curve, that charming smile and its slight overbite. A visible pregnancy might dispel that. Though, Camaline had never found pregnant women particularly repulsive. In fact, rather the opposite. "Is there something wrong with me? Something in my brain that keeps from falling for anyone even remotely appropriate?"

He snorted. "If either of us could fall for anyone appropriate, we'd only have eyes for each other."

"I suppose so. Anyone who isn't the person your parents have been telling you you'd marry for as long as you can remember is by default inappropriate. And all things considered, if I had to marry a man, best it was you."

"The sentiment is mutual."

"But all the same, I do envy you." In so much as she envied anyone. She ran her hand down the velvet of her gown, though she was certain Xeta's flesh would be softer. "At least you have Searle."

Sparron leaned back, the side of his head grazing the carvings on the headboard. "I guess I do."

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