In Which Lettie Should Be Surprised

October 9, 1182

It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Yesterday had been a well-deserved happy day for Lettie's marital family. In the morning, her father-in-law had returned from his brief Carvallon pilgrimage, just in time for Searle's stepsister's wedding that afternoon. It had been nice enough for an outdoor ceremony, on a hill where Esela and her twin had often played as children, with a meadow nearby for the subsequent dance and feast. It had also been Lettie and Searle's anniversary, and Searle had forgotten, but that was fine because Lettie had too.

And more than once that evening, Lettie could have sworn she'd caught Jadin sizing her up, smiling at her, even winking once. It happened frequently enough that she'd feared Searle had noticed--but if he had, he'd shrugged it off on account of... well, Jadin.

But then today, Jadin had stopped by with a shawl Lettie had apparently forgotten--one she'd asked Searle to watch, figured--while Searle happened to be out with Lonriad and Cuthron. An offer of a biscuit and a cup of water hadn't seemed totally inappropriate, so she'd made it and they'd got to talking. He'd mentioned that Xeta had bought new bedding. Lettie had been thinking about new bedding herself, so she'd made her inquiries, and Jadin told her he'd always liked her and Searle's bedding just fine. She'd figured he was just being nice, so she'd asked for a second opinion, and he'd let himself be led into the bedroom. He'd flopped back onto the mattress and deemed the whole ensemble a pinnacle of comfort; not sure she agreed, Lettie did the same.

And then this happened.

"Jadin..." she moaned as his tongue left her mouth, replaced by a much firmer extrusion against her leg. Yes, this was fun. Yes, it had been a while. But... "Jadin..."

"Yes, that's it." His nose brushed her jawbone as he burrowed into her neck, pursed lips an intermittent presence on her skin. "Say my name..."

Yes. Yes, this had to stop. "Jadin, slow down."

Not having any experience with men of Jadin's reputation, she wasn't sure if she'd expected him to heed her so easily. But, to his credit and her surprise, he raised his head, and then the rest of him, even the erection poking at her thigh. "You all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. And it's not as if I'm not enjoying this, but..." She gnawed on her tongue, not to the same pleasuring effect when Jadin had done the same. Things hadn't been going well in her marriage--they hadn't been going well in quite a while--but surely this couldn't help? "But Searle..."

Jadin blinked. Lettie wondered if he wanted to ask the same thing that part of her was asking herself. But didn't Searle do the same thing? Often and frequently? And leave you to clean up the mess when it didn't work out? Isn't that why everything is so horribly fucked up now? The damage is done. Why shouldn't you enjoy yourself?

But he didn't. He might have been a womanizer but perhaps, at heart, he was still a gentleman. "All right. If you don't feel comfortable, then we won't do this."

"Thank you." Was that sufficient? Was it really that easy? Unless that night with Sparron and Camaline counted, Lettie had never strayed before. Was there a proper etiquette for aborted affairs? "And... sorry, I suppose."

"Don't apologize. There are two of us here, after all--and everyone is entitled to second thoughts." His chin tipped upright, eyes shut. It wasn't impossible, maybe, that he was having thirds. "And I don't want to hurt my baby brother either."

"I know you don't."

"And this would hurt him, even if he does kind of deserve it." Jadin pulled his arm out from behind Lettie's back and slumped back against the headboard. "And even if... ah, never mind."

"If what?" He shook his head. In keeping with the last several months, Lettie wasn't satisfied. "Never mind what?"

"Do you really want to know?"

She nodded. "Would I have asked if I didn't?"

"Well..." Jadin swallowed. Lettie frowned; it wasn't like her brother-in-law to be nervous. "Searle was kind of feeling bad about the lack of... you know, so he... kind of asked me to do this."

Of course he had. Because he thought that was the problem. "I really should be surprised, shouldn't I?"

"Probably." But like he'd proven before, Jadin seemed to understand.

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