In Which Florian Proves a Slight Intoxication

March 23, 1167

"...so the troupe leader stares and blinks rapidly for a minute, then says 'All right then, what do you call yourselves?', and then the father says 'The Aristocrats!'" Florian wrapped up the joke, prompting an annoyed glare from Seoth the innkeeper--of course, that wasn't a bad thing.

Nora snickered, as did Seoth's wife. Meanwhile, Falidor turned back to his ale. "I don't get it."

Well, that figured. Florian rolled his eyes. "Never mind, then; you know it's not funny if you have to explain it."

"What is there to explain, though?" Laureina mused from behind the counter. "It's anti-humor; it's funny because it's unexpected."

"Sweetheart, what did I just say about explaining jokes?"

Visibly frustrated, Seoth ran his fingers through his hair. How did he do it? The man just invited agitation, and Florian had never been one to refuse such an obvious request. "Florian, have you ever considered frequenting some other inn? You know... anyone else's inn? Maybe one that's actually within a reasonable distance of your house?"

"Why would I go anywhere else? Of all the innkeepers in the kingdom, you're the only one with a pretty wife," Florian told him, sending a wink Laureina's way. Beside her, Seoth scowled; satisfied, Florian cast a sidelong glance at his friend's sister. "Besides, it's fun coming here and watching little Miss Leonora here flirting with all the eligible bachelors."

"What eligible bachelors?" Nora laughed rather forcefully, scanning the room before her gaze settled on Florian. "All I see are my brothers, two women, and a bunch of grouchy old married crows like yourself."

Over her shoulder, Florian watched as a young man he recognized as Lord Severin's squire turned his head. "I'm not married!"

"But you will be soon!" Florian gleefully reminded him.

Searle's pouty mouth curved into an almost comical snarl. "Shut up!"

Florian dismissed the kid with a wave, then turned back to Nora. "Anyway, how many drinks have you had? Four? You can't tell the difference between bachelors and brothers and women and crows with all the alcohol you've had."

"Oh, I don't know, Florian," sighed Falidor as he pushed his own pint aside. "You'd be surprised just how much liquor her little body can take."

It was true--all those drinks and Nora barely even seemed tipsy. Florian was impressed; his Thetis, bless her soul, had never made it through more than one drink without any obvious sign of intoxication. Of course, he'd've been lying if he said he didn't like it. "Well, then we'll just have to get her some more. Seoth! The lady wants wine!"

He looked over to the innkeeper to make sure he was pouring a glass, then placed his hand on Nora's arm; he wasn't often serious, but he figured there was no better time than three drinks in to tell the woman what he thought. "But really, darling, you're going to have to start looking a little harder; those kids of yours aren't going to father themselves, you know."

Nora snorted. "Florian, I don't know what sort of cock-and-bull story your mother fed you, but I can assure you that my children have already been... fathered, as you say."

Smiling, Florian tossed his head and looked back at Seoth; to his great delight, the man was as tense and irritated as ever. "Oh, are we talking about sex now? I thought we were talking about you trying to land a man."

"Don't the two go hand-in-hand?" she sneered. Nora was usually good for handling Florian's antics, but all of a sudden, she seemed as much of a killjoy as Seoth.

Florian shrugged. "You said it, not me. Now, who is there? You know, I think the baker's still free..."

Nora cut him off with a curt yawn. Florian flinched; no one had ever yawned at him before! "Look, Florian, I appreciate the gesture, and when I want to start looking for a man, then I'll let you know, all right?"

Well, that was certainly blunt. "No need to be rude, Nora; damn, you can't blame a man for trying to help out a damsel in distress, can you?"

"I'm not in distress," she insisted, a cringing emphasis on the last word. "Believe me, I'll manage on my own, and I don't expect to just fall in love with the next man someone tries to set me up with. Do you honestly think no one's tried by this point? I just don't connect to people easily, and if anyone could understand that, I would've thought it would be you, Florian. I mean, Lord knows I've only ever had even remotely serious feelings for two men in my entire life--"

Florian raised an eyebrow. "Two?"

Shaking her head, Nora brushed past him on her way to the door. "Maybe I am a little drunk."

"Who's two?" demanded Falidor as Nora stepped outside.

Florian nodded. "Yes, Jothein and who?"

She cast each of them a parting glare before closing the door behind her. "Idiots!"

Women! Thank God his Thetis was an open book--Jothein must have been an exceptionally clever man if he could decipher a language as cryptic as Nora. But alas, it seemed that even Nora could not go so many years without one little slip. "Who do you think this other man could be?"

Falidor's head cocked to one side as though he were trying to crack his neck. "Don't look at me; I didn't know anything about this until just now."

Florian bit his lip, wracking his brain for any man he knew whom Nora might have been ashamed to admit her feelings for. "Do you think he's too old or too young or married or something?"

Falidor didn't even seem to be listening, but Florian figured it was his loss. "Or maybe he's a criminal, or a madman or--"

"Look, if you're going to make light of a lady's personal affairs," uttered Seoth, who had somehow appeared right in front of him, a bizarre power that seemed to occur in only the gravest and most severe of men, "then it seems to me that it's only common courtesy to cover the tab she happened to leave."

...Women!

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