In Which Raia Overhears the Worst Princess Story Ever

November 2, 1162

Earlier that day, Raia had been entertaining her younger sisters in the sitting room while her cousin Searle--the blond one, the one who had been living with them for most of her life--had curled himself up on the couch with a book. Raia hadn't thought much of it until her mother had arrived, peered over Searle's shoulder, and ripped the tome from his hands, delivering a quick smack to the back of his head and storming out angrily, muttering something about having to find a better hiding spot.

Fortunately, it hadn't taken Raia all that long to find said hiding spot, and now, the book was in her hands. Granted, there was the occasional word she didn't quite know the meaning of, but for the most part, she could gather what she needed to know from the context. It was a story--which was strange, considering how her mother had reacted to it, but Raia had been around long enough to know a story when she read one--and a somewhat odd one, at that. Most stories ended with a kiss, but not this one. No, this story had, instead, begun with a kiss--several kisses, in fact, each described in considerable detail--and then proceeded to other things, involving parts of the body other than the lips.

All in all, she didn't really know what to think of it. The story wasn't particularly interesting, but at least it seemed mildly informative.

Somebody knocked on the door. Raia's eyes snapped upwards; if it was her mother, she would have to find somewhere to stash the book. "Mama?" she asked cautiously, figuring she was better off identifying the visitor before allowing them entrance.

"No, just me and your sister," replied the voice of her cousin Searle--the red-haired, visiting one, that was, not the one who'd first found the book. "Viridis wants to hear a story, and she says all the books are in your room."

That sounded harmless enough, Raia decided as her own reading resumed. "Come in, then."

He opened the door and stepped inside; sure enough, Viridis was in his arms, and her mother was nowhere in sight. Raia looked up at him and grinned. In response, the corners of his mouth twitched, as though he was half-heartedly trying to smile, but found he lacked the strength to even pretend to be happy.

Searle had never truly smiled, or at least he hadn't in the week or so Raia had known him. He was nice enough, but he was always so inexplicably sad, and it seemed that nothing anyone ever did could cheer him up. Raia didn't understand it; everyone else in the house was going out of their way to try to make him feel as comfortable as possible, and while it appeared that he appreciated their efforts, everything they had tried so far had failed to work.

Closing the door behind him, he stepped into the room and gently placed the four-year-old on the floor. "Raia, do you mind if I put the fire on? It's a little chilly."

"Go ahead," she told him lazily as she continued to scan the lines of the book. "Saves me the trouble of putting one on myself."

As he took the flint in hand and set the flames alight, Searle shook his head. "I don't think you know how to start a fire, little girl."

"Damn right I do, and damn right I have," she assured him.

Her cousin stiffened. "Does your father know that you know that word?"

"Who do you think taught it to me, stupid?"

He ignored her, instead shifting his attentions back to her sister; maybe she shouldn't have called him 'stupid'. "What kind of story do you want, Viridis?" he asked the little girl as he made his way around the bed and to the bookshelf.

"A princess story!" she exclaimed immediately; Raia rolled her eyes slightly.

"Princess story," Searle repeated under his breath, scanning the titles of the children's books on the lower shelves. "Hmm... how about this one with the frog?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Raia saw Viridis shake her little blond head. "Papa read that to me last night."

"All right... what about the one with the pea and all the mattresses?"

"Mama read that the night before!"

"She'll just keep doing this," moaned Raia as she struggled with a few unusual words in her own book. "She never wants to hear the same story twice. Just make something up and fit a princess in it somewhere--that's what I always do."

Resigned, Searle nodded. "Thank you, Raia. I'll try that."

"You're welcome... by the way, what's an erection?"

He didn't answer; he must not have heard her.

"All right, once upon a time..." he began, kneeling to the floor briefly to hoist Viridis back into his arms. "Once upon a time, there was... a princess."

"Was she pretty?" asked Viridis.

Searle closed his eyes. "Very--the most beautiful woman in all the world."

The little girl trembled with excitement; Raia vaguely wondered how long it would take for her to realize that every fairytale princess was supposedly 'the most beautiful woman in all the world'.

"And there was... this prince," he continued rather shakily, "and he loved her."

"Was he handsome?" Viridis whispered into his shoulder.

Searle cocked his head slightly. "I don't know. The princess must have thought he was, though, because she loved him too."

"I like this story," piped the child in delight; Raia honestly couldn't say she agreed, but she kept her mouth shut.

"Uh... all right? Anyway, the king didn't really like the prince all that much--or maybe he did, I suppose, but he didn't want him to marry the princess. He wanted her to marry this lord instead."

Viridis nodded. "Was he a troll?"

Her cousin sighed. "No."

"An ogre?"

"No, he... he was all right, as a person. He just... well, he wasn't the prince. He was just another man."

Viridis smiled. "So if he was all right... he let the princess choose the prince, right?"

"No," the boy answered--rather bitterly, Raia noted. "He married the princess."

Raia raised an eyebrow; meanwhile, Viridis gaped at the storyteller. "No! What happened to the prince?"

Searle chanced a glance Raia's way; it seemed that he thought the sorrow in his eyes to much to inflict upon a four-year-old. "He had to marry this other girl."

"Was she a witch?" demanded Viridis, undoubtedly still struggling to get over the shock of the prince not marrying the princess.

The young man raised her to eye level. "No, she... she was all right too, just..."

"Not the princess," Raia finished for him as she tried to puzzle out the word 'orgasm'.

"Exactly," agreed Searle. "She wasn't the princess. Uh... the end, I guess."

Viridis pouted, her brown eyes unimpressed. "The end? That was the worst princess story ever!"

"Speaking of princesses... there's a certain beautiful, red-haired princess off in another tower, wondering where on earth her pretty little girl could have possibly gotten to."

It was their father; Raia shrugged and focused her attention back to the book.

"I'm sorry, Uncle," Searle apologized. "She just wanted a story."

Raia's father smiled. "It's fine, Searle; it's just getting rather late, that's all."

He proceeded further into the room, allowing Searle to transfer Viridis into his arms. "Searle tells stupid stories," Viridis muttered under her breath as she buried herself in her father's shoulder.

Frowning, he took a minute to survey his nephew, looking every inch of him up and down. Raia gave up on trying to figure out what 'ejaculated' meant and instead attempted to follow his eyes. Right, left, up, down... finally, they locked with Searle's own. "Searle... whatever is troubling you, I do wish you would talk to either your aunt or myself about it. We're quite worried about you, and if there's any way we can help, we'd like to know."

>Nodding toward each of them, Searle slowly began to make his way out of the room. "Thank you, but... there's nothing you can do. There's nothing anyone can do."

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