March 16, 1180
It had occurred to Viridis as she'd ushered Tivie up to the loft that she wasn't sure if she'd locked the door. A break-in wasn't overly likely--they were offset enough from the nearest village that any would-be intruder would have to go out of his way--but it stood to reason that with no neighbors, any unannounced nighttime visitor was unlikely to be neighborly, so they made a point to keep the door locked when they turned in for the night.
But tonight, of course, they already had visitors, and not hostile ones--even if they weren't predisposed to be friendly. "So... not tired yet?"Neilor grunted. "Apparently not."
Searle checked the door--locked, whether Viridis had forgotten or Neilor had noticed it or the bolt had just taken to moving itself. They'd put Neilor and Landus in the guest room by the kitchen, a room that had never been slept in; there had been no previous guests to vouch for the temperature or the state of the mattress or the thickness of the blankets, and Neilor might have been out here for any one of those reasons. That lack of knowledge was why he'd given Tivie the loft... well, that and his not wanting his daughter in the same bed as a young man, for all one of the two options was her brother. He and Viridis had both spent enough time in that loft to know it was comfortable.
Well... except for the bed. Searle had made that bed around the time he'd made the crib, knowing it would only be a matter of time before it was needed. That child would have been nearing five now.
"Do you want something? Or are you just going to stare?"
So Neilor didn't like him any more than Ellona did. Not that Searle could have expected much, especially now that Neilor knew Tivie. She couldn't have dragged the kid all the way from Naroni without sharing some grievance or another--of which there were, Searle knew for a fact, many.
"You, uh... you fought well at that tournament." It was the only excuse that came to mind, at least aside from the more patronizing 'You've grown up' and the undoubtedly ill-timed 'So, you've spent quite a bit of time with my little girl these past few weeks'.
The young man shrugged. "Not well enough. But that was... what, three years ago now? Why do you even mention it?"
"I don't know. Because I was there, I guess." Neilor brushed that aside with a dismissive sweep of the eyes. Searle scuffed his boot against the floor. "I spoke with Landus, you know--right after your last fight. Did he tell you that?""No." A further inquiry might have been in order, but it seemed Neilor wasn't in the business of giving damns.
Or maybe he was--just for someone else. "He's a good kid, you know. Your brother."
"Oh, so you've seen him twice in his life and you now know him better than I do?"
Searle flinched. He wasn't sure why. He supposed he deserved it.
"You know what? Just... don't talk to me, all right?" The knuckles of Neilor's left hand twitch, as if he was struggling not to make a fist. "What business do you have with me, anyway? I'm not the one whose life you ruined."NEXT CHAPTER:
7 comments:
Bah. I had this post finished last night, but the internet was down in my building. Knowing my luck, it was probably back up within minutes of my giving up trying to connect and going to bed. *facepalm*
My sympathies, Van!
Oy, what a mess of awkwardness in this post. I think it shows that Searle has grown up in that he's trying to be polite and a good host -- and avoiding, as much as possible, awkward topics of conversation. Not that there's much avoiding of them.
Still, we all remember a time when Searle would have been all, "MY PAIN, IT HURTS, GO AWAY," so to see him being a grown-up is quite refreshing. :)
I hope nobody tells Tivie that the bed she's sleeping in was meant for a little brother or sister that Searle had every intention of being a good father for.
Internet's like that, Van! Glad it's working for you now.
Oh, the fickle cyber gods XD
Heh. I guess Searle does get points for not emoing out like he used would have not all that long ago. It's all very awkward for him, but at least he's trying to keep calm?
Alas, Tivie may have figured it out :( But since the kid never came to be, I suppose she could always tell herself that Searle would have eventually ditched him/her too (whether she would want to is a different story; she doesn't seem that nasty).
LOL, Morgaine! "My pain, it hurts."
XD
I really think they are all being a bit hard on him. Sure he wasn't a father to his children but so what? It's better to get out of a childs life all together than stick around and be...well Searle. Back in the day searle at least, it's just like morgaine said he wasn't the most stable.
I know a man who was never in his sons life for reasons that had to do with the mother and her new man ect. He never saw him at all after he was 2 or 3 and this did hurt the kid a lot but no one blamed the man more than himself everyday he blamed himself. well when the boy was 10 his mother died in a car accident and the family insisted the man come back into the boys life but they didn't realize the man was sick so only a few months after reconnection the man died too. everyone loved to hate this man because he wasn't around for his son but no one stopped to look at his reasons.
Searle wouldn't have been a good parent, he was NOT ready and that's okay. It's okay to not be ready. Hell how many girls go get little red pouches from Laveria?
I get Tivvies anger but I hope with time she can understand that being someones biological child means little, he's just a man that wasn't in her life for one reason or another and I hope she can get past this.
Yeah, I do think a person has to be ready to be a parent, and Searle just wasn't. I don't think Tivie's feelings (or Neilor's defense of them) are unnatural, but the fact is that Nythran was a much better father to her than Searle waa prepared to be.
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