In Which Adonis Hears from the Beginning

June 12, 1164

Adonis did not think it gentlemanly to presume to take the bed for oneself when arguing with one's wife, but he had come in from the barn to find Honora in her nightgown, fast asleep on the couch in the children's room; not wanting to disturb her, he had taken her attire as a sign that she had planned to sleep there and not simply dozed off, leaving the bed to him.

He wished she hadn't. The bed was far too big for one, he was now painfully aware. So many times he would reach for her out of sheer habit, only to remind himself once more that she was not beside him. He closed his eyes, but he did not think he would sleep tonight; this empty bed was a vast and barren wasteland, and somehow, he was lost in the middle of it.

Then, like an answer to an unconscious prayer, the door opened, then quickly closed again.

At the sight of his wife, Adonis kicked back the covers and pulled himself to his feet. "I'm sorry; I thought you were settled for the night. Here, take the bed. I'll just go sleep on the--"

"Wait."

Startled, he did as he was told. He watched the silk of her nightgown sweep against the floor as she crossed the room and sat down on her side of the bed. As soon as she had settled into a comfortable position, she sent him an expectant glance. "Adonis, please sit down."

He hastily pulled the blanket back into position and adjusted the pillow, lowering himself against it. While he still felt rather betrayed, the last thing he wanted was to deny her a chance to explain herself. "I'm listening."

Honora shifted. "I don't know where to start."

"Start at the beginning."

She sighed, then nodded. "Well... my mother was a daughter of the old Lord Aythwing by a scullery maid. She ended up eloping with my father, who was the leader of a band of thieves who traveled from village to village, plundering as they went."

Adonis closed his eyes, trying not to dwell on the fact that his son had been named after a criminal. "Continue."

"My mother died giving birth to me, leaving my father to raise me on his own. He took me around with his band until I was eight, when he was killed by some of his men who wanted to seize control of the group. The lot of them left after that; I had to bury him on my own."

"Honora..." Adonis whispered. It was a weak thing to say, but he did not know how to respond to such a sentence. What sorts of monsters left a little girl with nothing but the corpse of her own father?

Honora silenced him with a shake of her head. "After that, I wondered around aimlessly until I arrived in the port village of Dragon's Gate. My first week there, a man said he'd give me food and shelter for the night if I slept with him; in my desperation, I took him up on that offer. I lived like that for a few years, until I was about twelve or so, when I met Adwyn--Evaleith's father.

"A client of mine had neglected to pay me, so I'd chased after him, only to end up pressed against the back wall of a tavern with a knife to my throat and a hand up my skirt. Adwyn happened to come along and fought the brute off. I ended up staying with him for a while, even going to sea with him--he was a pirate on a ship called the Jade Serpent. He was handsome, strong, exciting... what can I say? I was young and stupid and thoroughly smitten.

"Then Evaleith came along, and... well, everything changed. I was often alone on the mainland for weeks on end with the baby, and whenever Adwyn was actually around... God, he was such a wonderful father to her. He was far more of a parent than I could be at my age, and I started to resent him for it. Meanwhile, Evaleith took to him far more easily than she did to me; whenever the three of us were together, it was like I was looking through a window. They were like me and my father were, all those years before--the father who had raised me on his own, without a mother.

"I grew tired of being an extra wheel, and as I matured, I realized that Adwyn could never offer me the stability I wanted. One night, when he had returned from one of his voyages, I decided to leave. I nearly took Evaleith with me, but I realized I couldn't do that to either of them; they were so close, and I was not about to rob Evaleith of her father like those men robbed me of mine. It also seemed like the last thing I could give Adwyn for saving my life--his beloved daughter.

"Anyway, you know the rest; I headed to Dovia and ended up working as Alina's maid until she eloped with Severin and I married you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you all this before, but... well, I hope you can understand that I didn't really want to think about it," she finished lamely. "I love you, Adonis. I love our life. I didn't want anything that had happened all those years ago to ruin what we have now."

She did not want his sympathy, he realized. If that was what she was after, she would have told him this long ago. No... she simply wanted his understanding, and his reassurance. He could give her plenty of both.

"My darling," he addressed her, taking her in his arms and inhaling the sweet scent of her hair, "I promise you that nothing is ruined."

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