June 21, 1196
"Look, if there really is a God, and you really did piss Him off, killing Rina would be the least imaginative way for an all-powerful deity to punish you." If Florian still had to explain things like that, then he'd failed as a father. At least they'd had Thetis. "I don't know, maybe one of these days you'll wake up with a pair of butterfly wings or something. But Rina's not going to die."Severin squirmed, dull brown sleeve rustling against its dull brown tunic. Maybe when Rina did survive this dangerous pregnancy, he'd start wearing some more interesting clothes. "There are negative outcomes other than death."
"Again--not going to happen. That punishes Rina, not you."
"Oh, yes, because Rina's never been unjustly punished before.""Hey, not everything needs a rhyme and reason to it. Maybe God got bored and left us for some other stupid mortal species, and now we're subject to the whims of chaos. If I were God, I would have ditched our sorry asses eons ago, and don't pretend you wouldn't have done the same; you're even more miserable than I am."
"I'm not miserable; I'm just pissed off." As if the uncalled-for thud of his foot didn't say it even better. Not that Florian much minded the motion. It wasn't his floor, and it was an ugly floor anyway. God, this baby was doomed to suffer from horrible taste! "Pissed off, and I'll be a wreck if she dies. I'll be a wreck, and she'll be dead, and I suppose Mother will have to take the baby in because I'll be too drunk off my own self-pity to even care."
"Not going to happen, son. I've had more than enough whining babies under my roof to volunteer to raise someone else's."
"Besides," chimed Thetis's voice from the opening bedroom door, "none of that happened. Rina's as well as any woman I've ever seen."
Ha! There was nothing quite like being right. "Told you. Now, have fun raising one of these perpetual noise-and-shit machines, then apologizing to me for your mere existence. Thetis, what kind is it?"It was only when her eyes rolled that he noticed just how alike she and Severin looked. "The human kind, Florian."
Florian sniffed. "No need to be snide."
"Never mind that. Severin, come hold the baby."
He did as he was told, probably only because he'd been told, despite the fact he hated doing as he was told. The news of Rina's survival must have rendered him oblivious to everything else. Now might have been an excellent time for Florian to bury his face in Thetis's breasts. "Babies. I guess this one is at least half Rina."Rina, Rina, Rina. God, Florian's kids were pains in his ass even when they were happy. "It's also half me."
"Nice math, Father."
That was Alina's voice. Florian scowled. "Alina, stop questioning my math and tell me what kind of baby this is."
"That baby, Father?
"Or this one?"
HA! Somehow, the world was a better place knowing that Severin of all people was now stuck with twins. "Both would be nice. Also, I think we've figured out God's plan for Severin's punishment now.""I guess two half-Rinas makes a whole Rina, right, brother?" Alina teased.
"Anything that stops my eye from twitching."
That, apparently, did not. Florian rubbed his hands together in glee. "I hope they're just as bad as you two were. Now, what kinds are they? Same kind? Different kinds?"
"Same, different? Which baby, compared to which baby?"
Oh, that would have been too good.
Far, far too good! And not. "All right, now there are three of them? And I don't know what kind any of them are?"At least he knew Severin was probably never going to loose that stunned perma-blink. "Three of them? Really? Three?"
"Three! Hooray, we can all count!" Three new Florians. Or Florianas. Or hell, they could call the girls Florian too, if any of them were girls. It was a manly man's name, but it wasn't ugly. "But seriously, what kinds are they?""Father, I think the quantity is the more pressing concern."
Quantity. Florian snorted. "Talk to me about quantity when you have thirteen."
"Most of your thirteen came one at a time." Severin finally managed to curb his rapid-fire eyes--shut. Probably because the inside of his eyelids was now the last baby-free view in his world. "Three. Three. I can't deal with three babies.""Good thing you don't have three babies, then."
Severin's eyes shot right back open.
"...This seriously can't be happening."But it was. And God... Florian fucking loved it.
"This is the best day ever!" His most annoying child, now the father of quadruplets. Or more? Nah--surely the world wasn't that kind. "See, that's what you get for yelling at God. Now, are any of you going to tell me what kinds any of them are? Or do I have to unswaddle them myself?"NEXT CHAPTER:
