November 17, 2009

In Which Searle Is Graced by the Presence of an Angel

WARNING: This post is, um... not for everyone. You'll see what I mean. I'm not trying to be political or anything, I've just had this idea in my head for God knows how long, and there's been plenty of (probably forgotten) build-up, so... yeah. Proceed with discretion.

December 14, 1163

"She's beautiful, Searle," breathed his older sister from the couch, her husband's arm slung over her shoulder. "Just... beautiful."

Cambrin nodded in agreement, but there was something in his eye that differed from Lileina's. Perhaps he had sensed Searle's discomfort; Searle himself hoped this wasn't the case. "Searle? Are you all right?"

Damn. He had.

Searle gently lifted his daughter to his shoulder, careful to support her head. She had his father's own violet eyes, as he had been secretly praying against since the day Danthia had announced her pregnancy; he did not think he could bear to live in the same castle as those eyes again. It was difficult enough living in the same castle as his mother's eyes, set upon his own face, reminiscent enough of both of his parents to bestow in him an almost religious aversion to reflective surfaces. "I'm fine," he lied, "just... a little tired, that's all."

Lileina frowned. "I can take her for a while, if you want."

"Oh, no. Really, I'm all right," insisted Searle. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Thank you for your concern, though."

He had barely finished acknowledging her before she had planted herself upon Cambrin's lap, allowing him to run his hands up and down her back as she inhaled a nose-full of whatever spice he wore in his hair. Searle rolled his eyes; as much as he loved both of them separately, he hated to see them together. He had half a mind to ban all happy couples from his castle henceforth. It was too painful to see others with what he had once had and lost.

Or no... he hadn't lost it. It had been taken from him.

He hated to see them as they were, with all their touching and kissing and snuggling. He could never decide if it made him want to cry or vomit--perhaps it did both. It just wasn't fair. How had their father managed to choose for Lileina someone she would grow to love, while he got stuck with a girl with whom he could only be friends, and that at best. He supposed he did pity Danthia somewhat--he did like her as a person, and felt rather guilty about depriving her of the only love she could attain without becoming an adulteress--but she couldn't understand. He hoped for her sake that she never would.

Cambrin and Lileina did not look as though they would relent with their display any time soon; defeated, Searle resigned himself to counting the floor tiles, starting from the far wall. One... two... three...


He knew that voice.

Mindful of the baby, Searle turned around to come face-to-face with his twin sister. He had not seen her since her wedding; he was rather shocked that their father, who had stationed himself in the front room, had allowed her entrance. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

That she was. He took a moment to memorize her, as he did not know when he would see her again; though Riona had haunted his thoughts and dreams since he was a child, he marveled that he had forgotten her magnificence. Or maybe he hadn't--maybe she had simply grown even more radiant in their time apart. If that was the case, he would not have believed it had he not seen it for himself. Their mother's eyes sparkled as she gazed upon him and shyly smiled. Hers was the only face upon which those eyes were not a blasphemy.

"This is Tivalia?" she cooed, leaning toward the baby, exposing the bare flesh of her swan-like neck. Was she taunting him? How he longed to run his fingers against the curve of her shoulder, press tender kisses under her ear; surely she knew that.

"Oh, Searle!" swooned Riona, her sacred eyes still resting upon the baby. "She's lovely! She has Father's eyes!"

How could she say that with such a smile? How could she look into those eyes and not want to hang herself? Did she not remember anything?

She seemed to shield her breasts with her arms as she reached to stroke the infant's face. Silly girl. He was not other men, who stared shamelessly at such a perfect bosom as though it were a separate entity; to him, it was only a part of the whole, no greater or lesser than any of her other features. Whether he saw all of her or not, she was nothing short of pure divinity. His father had pushed an angel from the heavens, and he had caught her before she hit the ground. It was not right that she had been so ruthlessly sold to her husband.

She looked away; he looked at her. He would not let pass an opportunity to engrave the sight of her upon his mind's eye, to absorb this new beauty and splendor even vaster than that which he remembered. As was their fate, she would not be with him long.

And as was his fate, at least she would be with him in his dreams.



Dinuriel said...

*Hides in fallout shelter left over from the Medea/Octavius/Holladrin days*

Dinuriel said...

Also, before I forget, this is the last post of 1163. Tentative stats for 1164 will be up on my LiveJournal in maybe half an hour to forty-five minutes *runs back to shelter*

Dinuriel said...

*Throws 1164 stats out shelter door, closes it once more*

Phoenix said...

That's just...yeah. Sorta gross but also indicative of the times. It also explains why Searle can't/won't love his wife. I'm also sure that Danitha would just give up the ghost and go do her own thing if she ever found out that his sister is the one he's in love with. *shudders*

On that note I'd better get back to work!:P

lothere said...

Heheh, I wondered how you were going to work abortion into this storyline when Searle was standing there holding a baby! :-P

I think you handled it well. Did they get caught together & is that why his father packed her off to be married? Or is this just a one-sided adoration? Does anyone know? It seems like everyone is aware that there is "another woman" or maybe I am just remembering past chapters wrong.

The fact that Searle is in love (better make that lust) with his twin makes him ookier than ever. But I don't think it excuses or explains his behavior in any way. He wants a girl he can't have. That doesn't give him the right to take off and leave his poor young wife and act like a total whinypants with everyone. It's just that now I kinda don't want Taboo-boy with poor Danthia at all. >8)

Dinuriel said...

Phoenix: Thanks :) Yeah, Danthia has no idea who Searle's pining after. She knows he was involved with someone else before they were married, but she has no idea that it was his own sister. Even for the times, that's not exactly common stuff, so she'd probably freak out and possibly dismiss him as being crazy or something. I have to wonder if her father knows about the thing with Searle and Riona; he was informed that Searle had been caught doing something with someone, but he was never told who that someone was. He might have called the engagement off if he'd known (which is perhaps why they might not have told him).

Lothere: Thanks :) Looking back on past chapters, notably "In Which Raia Overhears the Worst Princess Story Ever", it can be inferred that the two were actually involved to some capacity, but they were caught and that's why Searle has all this bile against his parents. Judging by their behavior her, Cambrin and Lileina don't know, but the older brother does, and he felt the need to keep the royals in the know. Riona may just have a better coping strategy than Searle does, or she might be over him, or she might just be keeping it all bottled up inside and is really just as miserable as he is.

But yeah, regardless of who he's in love with or lusting over, he's not justified in running around and crashing at Severin and Alina's unexpectedly for months on end and being all "Oh, woe is me!" wherever he goes. He has a responsibility to Danthia, and now they have a child, so obviously that only adds to that. He's got this "Me (and Riona?) vs. World" mentality going on, when really, if he just let it go--like a lot of people would have had to in those days--he would at least save himself some dignity, and possibly grow more attached to Danthia.

Heheh. I think Danthia may be the person in the story who would be most justified in having an affair. Either her or Falidor, I suppose. In any case, she's taken all of Searle's crap and has proven herself to be the better person, so in my personal opinion, she deserves a good love affair or two.

lothere said...

Whaddya mean her OR Falidor? I say her AND Falidor! As in... with each other! Danthidor!

Dinuriel said...

Alas, I have other plans for Falidor, although they are rather distant. I also thought of a possible idea for Danthia when I was walking to class today. But who knows? Maybe at some point?

Penelope said...

*HAHAHAHA* Danthidor. It sounds like some kind of Rowling-esque wizard.

You haven't offended anyone, Van. You can come out of the bomb shelter now. In fact, you can come out of the bomb shelter and we'll put Searle in there instead. That lanky, ginger freak.

Dinuriel said...

I must say, it is rather catchy. "Danthidor".

That's good to hear. I know some people who would have probably freaked seeing this post, but then again I grew up as one of the few liberals in a very conservative area.

Heheh. Searle's whining could probably be heard through the bomb shelter walls :P

eclectictsunami said...


Oh, Searle. You are so much more screwed up than we thought.

This is a fascinating idea, Van. So glad you came up with this because I so DID NOT see it coming. *Pops popcorn*


Dinuriel said...

Thanks Cassie :)

Heheheh... I still can't believe Team Danthidor got off the runway. I wasn't even thinking it was a possibility when I had her show up at his house. I still have trouble seeing it *twitch*

They'll both get some loving eventually though, together or otherwise.

Verity said...

Hehe... taboo-boy.

Searle is really a bit icky. It is a very interesting plotline though. I have been considering doing something like this in Mhalwae but there is a distinct lack of brothers + sisters to work with. There are a few floating around but they aren't main characters. The only main character brother/sister are Lyiss and Garald. And that would just add a whole new layer of weirdly screwed up onto both of them. I have to admit, when I first started writing them I did consider if that was the case for them, but quickly concluded that noooooooooo. Just nooooooooo. It so wasn't like that for them. And as if they need to be more sexually screwed than they already are.

It seem like Searle is caring a lot more than Riona. But maybe she is just supressing as hard and fast as she can.

Am I a weirdo for feeling a little sorry for these two. Can you imagine what it would be like to be so unfortunately in love with your sibling. Serious ugh. I mean, in some ways you can't help who you love. And what if who you love is ick, related to you. They always have these storylines where people fall in love with their half-siblings before they knew that it was their half-sibling. Imagine how traumatic that would be! It is different for these guys because obviously they know they are related. And they are twins so they share even more genetic material right? If they are identical they came from the same egg!

Can I just say, props to you for dealing with this topic. It is icky and I imagine difficult to write but it did happen (hello Byron and Augusta) and it makes for a fascinating can't look away trainwreck sort of storyline.

Dinuriel said...

I actually feel rather sorry for them too. Like, the person I feel the most sorry for in this situation is Danthia, but I feel bad for Searle and Riona as well. It is true that you can't help who you love, regardless of the whole ick factor.

Fortunately, they're only fraternal twins, even though they do look quite a bit alike, so they're not technically any more closely related than they are to any of their other siblings. Identical twins are always the same gender, I think... but really, I'm not sure if the game has any concept of identicalness at all. I used to think Searle and Riona's cousins Xetrica and Riona were identical, but then once they hit the teen stage, their features started to differentiate (plus somehow I missed the fact that Xetrica has her dad's eyes and Riona has her mom's). Of course, one of my sims recently gave birth to a pair of twin girls that do look quite a bit alike, but since they're still only babies I'm not going to make any calls just yet.

Yeah, I can't see Lyiss and Garald being into each other that way... and like you said, they both have enough sex-related issues. I'll admit that when I was catching up on Mhalwae I thought there might have been something between Garrick and Isabelle (or at least one-sided longing on Isabelle's part), but I think you said in comments that that wasn't the case.

Thanks Verity :)