May 11, 1165
If he'd known that Alsina was still awake, Aldhein would have never entered the bedroom. Most nights, she was asleep by this hour--hell, she spent most of her time asleep these days--so it seemed to him that she had to have been waiting up for him. If she was waiting up for him, that almost undoubtedly meant that she wanted to talk to him.But about what? It wasn't as if he could tell her about his day or even his week, not with all the horrible things happening in the kingdom. Hell, a whole village had been slaughtered, women and children and all, then burned to the ground, a blazing monument of horror that could have only been meant as a warning for the rest of the kingdom. The danger was no longer confined to individuals in the forest. Under normal circumstances, he would have thought it best for her to be informed, but the girl had gone through enough in recent months, and he wasn't quite sure how much more stress she could handle.
Alsina turned away from him and slipped off the bed, her slender form barely shifting the mattress. "I need to tell you something."Aldhein bit his lip; as awkward as her asking him about anything was, her wanting to talk to him about something was even less bearable. Every time, he only found himself yelling at her and storming out of the room, if only to stop himself from imagining what she might look like naked. How did he lack the decency to restrain his lust in light of her suffering? When was it that he had ceased to be a man and instead become a monster? In that moment, he thought no more highly of himself than he did of the creatures who had destroyed that village.
To his great surprise, Alsina smiled as she made her way around the foot of the bed. The grin did not reach her eyes, but it was the most he had seen over the entire course of their marriage. He was not sure whether or not this was a good thing; either she was beginning to mend, or she thought he might be angry with her. Though he hoped it wasn't the case, the latter seemed more likely than the former."I made you a present," she told him. "It's in your drawer. It's a nightshirt--I noticed you didn't have any."
Aldhein shifted; he decided against telling her that the reason he didn't have any nightshirts was that he didn't wear them in the first place. "Thank you. That was very kind of you."
He watched as her face fell yet again; he still could not decide whether her crestfallen features were truly inferior to a false smile. "Anyway... there's something you should know."Glancing briefly at her stomach, it occurred to him that he might not have needed to be told. "All right."
"Promise you won't be angry?"
He nodded. "Alsina..."
She took a moment to compose herself as best she could, then sniffed, a tear welling in the corner of her eye. "I lost the baby, Aldhein. I... I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, but I know you didn't really want to marry me, and..."Her lip trembled as she swallowed whatever she had been about to say. It seemed that the only humane thing he could do was reassure her. "I'm not angry. I knew about that months ago."
Well, he'd meant to reassure her--apparently, it hadn't worked. God, he was rather horrible at this whole 'sensitivity' thing. "What?""The housekeeper told me. She does wash your linens, after all."
Alsina continued to gape at him. "Why didn't you tell me you knew?"
Would she have wanted him to? Really? "I thought it might have upset you."
"Upset me?"
"Look, I'm sorry," he insisted, reaching reflexively for her hand. "I didn't know how you felt about it." He gave her palm a gentle squeeze, then met her eye. "How do you feel about it?"
She froze, as though she had only just considered this. "I... I don't really know."A few awkward seconds past, silent save for the occasional breeze outside. Alsina glanced toward the bed. "Can you sleep here tonight? Please?"
That might have been the worst idea he had ever heard, but it was hard to say 'no' to those inkblot eyes. He sighed; he'd just have to make a conscious effort to keep his disgusting hands to himself, and then it was back to the guest room tomorrow night. "Fine."NEXT CHAPTER:
