February 1, 2011

In Which Florian Sees the Ironic Smile

January 9, 1172

"God, I just can't understand it." Florian finished what was left of the bottle's contents and placed it side-down on the counter, earning a disapproving glare from that insufferable Seoth. "After all these years, you finally get a chance to be your own man, and only nine days later, you're getting married again. I don't get it."

Shrugging, Falidor took a last sip of the goblet in front of him, then handed it back to the innkeeper. "You don't have to get it--although it's not that hard to get, really. I love her."

"Yes, but... nine days?" These nine days had been the only glimpse of bachelorhood poor Falidor had been granted since he was a boy of sixteen, and there was no way a man gave that up so easily--no matter how in love he was. Florian had to get to the bottom of this. "Look, you can tell me: is Raia's father making you marry her before the baby comes?"

On the groom-to-be's other side, Aldhein bowed his head and groaned; Falidor nearly choked. "Uh... what?"

Florian rested his elbow to the counter surface and leaned toward his friend, perhaps a little perversely triumphant--after all, he must have been right. "He is, isn't he?"

Falidor sighed. "No, he's really not."

"Err... Falidor?"

It was the baker, whom none of them liked, but who seemed unaware of the fact. Florian pulled himself back upright; he normally enjoyed tormenting Roveln, but on the eve of his friend's poorly-timed wedding, he was a little preoccupied, so he tried to ignore him. Falidor, on the other hand, decided to be polite. "Yes?"

"Uh, well, now that you're divorced and getting remarried again," the baker began, his hands fidgeting as his eyes fell to the floor, "I just figured I should tell you that I'm sorry for sleeping with your first wife."

Quiet--then, as if startled by his own daring, he took a few hasty strides toward the door and vanished from the range of the window.

Florian snickered. "He actually said it to your face? What a--"

"You know what?" Cutting Florian off, Aldhein pushed back his pint and turned to face Falidor, a resigned, tired sort of look in his eye. "Maybe that was stupid, but it was also rather noble. Falidor, I'm sorry for sleeping with your wife too."

Well... that was news to Florian. If Falidor's cocked eyebrow was any indication, this was the first he'd heard of this too. "You slept with Ailede?"

Grim, Aldhein nodded. "In my defense, though, this was before I met Alsina and it only happened the one time."

"All right..."

"Falidor?"

Seoth crossed to the other side of the counter and took the empty barstool to Florian's left, then looked past him and locked eyes with Falidor. "I'm also sorry for sleeping with your--"

"Oh for the love of God!" Florian slammed his fist against the counter with a force that rendered the entire inn mute. This would probably be the only bachelor party Falidor was ever going to get and he'd be damned if it was going to be ruined by someone other than him! "Am I the only person in this room who hasn't had sexual intercourse with Ailede Wythleit?"



Never before had he been forced to endure such an awkward silence. "Well then..."

Aldhein sniffed. "'Well then' indeed."

Florian cast a glare around the room, making sure that every soul in the room was aware of his annoyance before finally turning to Falidor--poor, embarrassed, laughingstock Falidor. "So... are you going to pound the stuffing out of all these sluts, or what?"

Falidor glanced toward Seoth, then Aldhein, then back to Florian. His head shook; his lips formed an odd shape, almost like an ironic sort of smile. "No--why bother? I'm happy now."

NEXT CHAPTER:

15 comments:

Van said...

I'm a little surprised that I didn't surpass the tag limit here. I swear I've been cut off with fewer characters than this... :S

Meanwhile, I would advise you to watch my LJ over the course of the next day or so for upcoming baby picspam...

Kiri said...

Yay for Babyspam!!!

And OMG - I was laughing so hard with this one.

Thanks for that Van. Florian never ceases to amuse me.

Van said...

Heheheh... :D

Glad you enjoyed, Kiri :)

Van said...

Aaaaaand here's the picspam:

http://dinuriel.livejournal.com/52831.html

Anonymous said...

LMAO, I knew that chick was a hoe but DAMN....
P.S. I think this may also be the first time Falidor was the only innocent one in any given situation!

P.P.S."No--why bother? I'm happy now." Awww.

Epi said...

Ahh, Florian, you never cease to be awesome.

Van said...

Chene: Heheheh XD

Epi: He's a gem of a character, that Florian :)

S.B. said...

This was hysterical! First the damned baker then every single one of them all solemnly apologizing, except for Florian who OUGHT to be guilty of something. I definitely needed the laugh today!

Can't wait for baby picspam!

Anonymous said...

That series of pictures! Oh my God! I could hear the crickets chirping! *rolls on floor*

(Although, seriously Jadin, Aldhein, I thought you had better taste than that!)

I especially love the deafening silence from the priests' table.

That being said, however, considering everyone in that tavern except Florian slept with Ailede -- Falidor's second marriage has got to be better than the first!

Van said...

Beth: It is odd that Florian would be the innocent one, isn't it? ;)

Glad I could amuse--and the picspam is now up :)

Morgaine: I imagine there were crickets chirping there :)

Jadin... well, maybe he just hasn't had time to develop standards? Or maybe he's just like his grandpa ("Is she pretty? Or do I have to throw a sack over her head first?"). Aldhein, meanwhile, isn't exactly the most prudent of people to begin with, and I imagine the post-Geneva pre-Alsina era was a bit of a rough patch for him.

Heh... I can't think of a single person in this story who make a worse spouse for Falidor. Even Deian seems to have a healthy respect for his partner.

thewynd said...

I agree with everyone else...that series of shots was hilarious. I heard chirping as well.

Poor Florian...for once he was not at the center of the mischief. heheh

eclectictsunami said...

That was hysterical. The priests' table (and the woman!) were what really took it over the top.

Aww, Falidor. I'm so glad he's got his Raia now. He has really, really, really earned this.

Van said...

Gayl: Maybe I should have added something about crickets in the text :P

You know, all and all, I think Florian felt a little robbed here :P

Cassie: Heheh... those are some naughty, naughty priests! And it looks like Aydelle's homoerotic experience goes beyond Camaline.

Falidor has definitely paid his dues XD

Penelope said...

OMG Van, I am under the desk. *BWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHA!!!*

Seriously though. Ailede has psychological problems.

Van said...

XD XD XD

I don't know what's up Ailede's ass (well, other than the obvious). I'm not sure if we ever will. I guess we'll just have to see.