October 17, 2010

In Which Searle Loses the One Person

October 5, 1169

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, cousin," Nythran muttered after an awkward minute of exchanged stares, "but I certainly wasn't expecting our paths to cross any time soon, least of all in my own home."

Searle placed his hands on his knees and tried not to frown. He might have liked Nythran if not for his marriage to Riona, but following that, it had become painfully difficult to stomach his cousin's presence. It seemed it had grown even moreso since her death. "I haven't been back in Dovia all that long, but when I arrived back at my castle, Danthia and Tivalia weren't there. I went to see Danthia's father, and he said that they were staying here with you."

Nythran squinted. "That was all he told you?"

That was a strange response; regardless, Searle nodded. "He wouldn't give me any details. I think he just wanted me to leave; Danthia's family doesn't really like me all that much."

"Oh." Nythran didn't seem to need any explanation. Searle was relieved; he didn't really want to talk about his relationship with his in-laws.

But at least Secundus had been civil enough to point him in the right direction. Searle wasn't exactly happy to be back--he hadn't been happy in years--but he was tired of the Elaryses and the Genevas of the world. He was sick of being used and discarded and left to his own devices. Danthia was the one person in his life who was always there for him no matter what, and if he couldn't make things better for himself, then perhaps he ought to try making them better for her.

"Well? Can I see her, or has she turned in for the night?"

Nythran sighed as Searle heaved himself off the couch; the young lord was considerably shorter than Searle himself was, but in spite of his small frame and mild manner, his presence was eerily stifling. "She should still be awake, but... well, I don't know if it would be a great idea for you two to see each other right now if Secundus didn't give you all the details."

Searle frowned; why was the other man being so difficult. "I don't see why there would be a problem; she's my wife, Nythran."

His cousin swallowed. "Uh... about that..."

"Nythran?" The door swung open. "Nythran, who's--oh.

"Well, I'll be damned."

Searle had thought so far ahead; he'd known what he wanted to do. He'd wanted to apologize and tell her they'd head home first thing in the morning. He'd wanted to promise they would start over. He'd wanted to run to her and look her in the eyes and kiss her.

But he couldn't look her in the eyes. All he could see was her stomach. "Danthia?"

A strange smile curling on her lips, Danthia waddled toward Nythran and rested her hand on her arm, planting a light kiss on his mouth--what the hell was going on here? "Darling, can you give us a minute? I think Searle and I need to talk." Darling?

"Are you sure?" he asked, taking her hand and squeezing it reassuringly. Searle knew that squeeze--he'd once held Riona's hand that way.

Danthia nodded as Nythran let go of her hand and instead gently massaged her bulge. Was he the father? He must have been; Searle certainly wasn't. "I'm sure. I'll be with you in a little while--why don't you go check on the girls?"

He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, then left. Searle waited a few seconds from the time the door shut--five, four, three, two...

There was no 'one'. He couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What the hell is this?" Searle hissed, holding back his arms to restrain himself from shoving her. "You little strumpet! Is this a recent development, or have you been fucking Nythran behind my back for years now? Is Tivalia even mine?"

Danthia rolled her eyes. He scowled; did it not occur to her that this was a serious accusation? "Of course Tivalia is yours, you arrogant ass-wipe! And I haven't been 'fucking Nythran behind your back for years' as you so delicately put it; I've only been sleeping with him since I married him in January."

Wait... what? He couldn't do anything but gape at her. This made absolutely no sense. "Since you married him? You can't be married to Nythran! You're already married to me!"

"Not anymore," she insisted, an insultingly wide smile upon her face. "You were gone for well over a year, you know--our marriage had legally ended months before I became lady here. Oh, and seeing as I am lady here, you might want to apologize for calling me a strumpet; you must realize that I outrank you now."

He couldn't believe this. That damn Nythran. First he'd stolen Riona away, and now Danthia too. Who was next? Was Tivalia going to start calling him 'Papa'? "This is ridiculous."

"You may think so," Danthia sniffed, "but you brought this all upon yourself; even you're not selfish enough to miss that detail."

That stung; he almost would have preferred it if she'd kneed him in the balls. "Look, I know I'm not much of a husband, but... ah, fuck it! Let's just wake Tivalia and go home, and I'll go to the grave swearing that your little bastard is mine, all right?"

He prepared himself to head toward the door; Danthia, however, did not budge. "You idiot! You weren't listening to a thing I said, were you? Nythran is my husband. Everyone in Dovia knows that Nythran is my husband. Everyone in Dovia knows that this is Nythran's baby. If you didn't know that until just now, then I fail to see how that can be my fault."

He didn't think he could take it anymore--this was far too much, far too soon. "Why is it that everyone I've ever cared about has been taken away from me?"

A sorrowful glaze crossed Danthia's face--her copper brows, her blue eyes, her full lips. She'd never looked so tragic. She'd never looked so beautiful. "You never cared about me, Searle. You never cared about me, and I was never taken away from you--you pushed me away."

God--he had pushed her away. He'd never meant to; he'd never thought it was possible. Since he'd been forced to marry her, she'd been the one constant in his life, the one person who had cared and worried and kept him going, all the while suffering in silence. Now, even she had turned her back on him. No, that was not quite true; he himself had spun her around.

It was no easier to look at her than it ever had been. "Danthia... I'm so sorry."

She didn't even blink; she simply crossed her arms over the bump of Nythran's spawn and stared at him. "Seeing as it's the only thing you've ever offered me, I suppose it would only be polite of me to accept your apology; don't for a second, however, think that means that I forgive you."

Searle nodded, his heartbeat slowing deep within his chest. What a pathetic little thing it was; it produced so much, yet it was never enough. "I couldn't expect that you would."

Danthia clasped her hands together, the glint of a nearby candle reflecting off Nythran's ring on her finger. "It's getting late. You may spend the night if you wish, but you have to be long gone by the time the girls wake. You're always stepping back into Tivalia's life for a couple of days only to leave for months on end, but no longer; I will not let you break her heart again."

NEXT CHAPTER:

15 comments:

Van said...

...aaaand we are now officially done with the 1160s. 1170s, here we come!

Anonymous said...

Something tells me that Searle's life expectancy just plummeted. :(

I can't help feeling bad for Searle, even though I'm glad Danthia got herself the heck out of that marriage and into a place where she and Tivalia can be happy. Yes, he brought 90% upon himself, but ... ouch. Just ouch.

Van said...

I feel bad for Searle too--not as bad as I feel for Danthia, but still pretty bad. He finally decides to start trying to be a good husband, only to come home to find that his wife has dumped him for Riona's widower. Oh, the irony :S

thewynd said...

Van, the shots would not load for me. Don't know if it was Blogger or Photobucket that was the culprit. However your writing totally painted the picture for me.

I do feel bad for Searle but unfortunately too little, too late on his part. At least he sees now that he has wasted his life on something he could never have. Somehow I don't feel anything for Danthia.

My word verification...medics...methinks Searle might need one.

Van said...

Ack! :( Hmm... knowing Blogger and Photobucket, it could be either or both :S

Glad you thought the writing could stand on its own, though.

"Too little, too late" is the phrase that pretty much sums up this whole post, and knowing Searle, now that he's been foiled once again, he'll probably just go back to his old routine :(

Sometimes the word verification is shockingly appropriate :S

Thanks Gayl :)

thewynd said...

I came back and looked at the images finally. They are just as I imagined!

Read it again too. I still feel bad for Searle. Maybe he will have learned a lesson here though and change.

Van said...

Good to hear they're up again.

Searle... might have learned his lesson. He might just end up regressing back to his normal pattern of behaviors, but he might start manning up. It's too early to tell, methinks.

Thanks again :)

S.B. said...

I feel a lot more sympathy for Danthia than I do for Searle. Danthia needed to get OUT of it. Searle having second thoughts...definitely too little and too late.

However, I like Searle. He wanted to do the right thing, he intented to do it, he just got sideways with timing. I give him some credit. I can't see him going backwards at this point. Lean forward Searle.

Van said...

Danthia definitely needed to get out of the marriage. She put up with Searle's crap for far too long and she was just relieved when the relationship was finally over. She's happy with Nythran--not in an overwhelmingly passionate sort of way, but in a comfortable, stable sort of way that she'd probably hoped to get from Searle before she actually got to know him.

I like Searle too. There is something undeniably interesting about him, as woebegone and self-absorbed as he can be. I like to think he can progress at some point, but I suppose we shall see.

And he did want to do the right thing--it took him a while to make up his mind, but he did want to do it in the end. It was just too late by then.

Thanks Beth :)

Penelope said...

How did she get out of that marriage? Was Searle pronounced dead?

Van said...

No, he was never pronounced dead, but he was gone for so long that legally, he was seen as having "left" her, so she was free to marry again. I imagine that sort of law was actually much stricter at the time, but fortunately I'm dealing with fictional kingdoms, so I can bend such details if they suit my purposes :)

Phoenix said...

Yeah, I'm going to leave comments as I go!:P

I should feel bad for Searle but I don't. He brought this on himself and just because he finally decided to come around never meant that she was going to be waiting around. Serves him right!

Glad to see that she's moving on and happy.

Wonderfully writing Van!

Van said...

Thanks Phoenix :)

He really should have come to this decision a lot sooner given the circumstances. I do feel sort of bad for him, but Danthia's been putting up with so much shit for so long that it's about time she caught a break, and I don't think she can be begrudged for being happier now.

katdelval said...

Ahhh!!! I know I am about 2 years behind here, but I just had to tell you that this chapter is BRILLIANT. It was seriously hard for me to sit still as I was reading it. Mainly because I can relate to it so much in my personal life. Let's just say I'm a real-life Danthia. I adored how she told him off and maybe I'm biased, but Searle doesn't get an ounce of my sympathy here. That was a tongue-lashing for the ages. Go Danthia and go Van!!!

Van said...

Thanks, katdelval!

Sorry to hear that you can relate to the circumstances. :( That said, Danthia is a survivor, and if you can relate to her as a character reacting to a rough situation, then that is a good sign :)